My sexual harrassment story and what I did with it.

[Raven]

When I was in grad school in the late '60's, I was required to take a statistics course which was a prerequisite to getting my Masters Degree. I was struggling in it but managing to get by. At the end of the course the Professor asked me to stay behind after class and told me that he was very concerned that I was going to flunk the course and that I could be assured I'd pass it if I spent the weekend with him at his house "getting tutored." I was 23 years old, a graduate of a woman's college and I had no experience with this whatsoever. I was stunned.

I somehow managed to get out of the classroom and the next day made an appointment to see my Dean. I recounted what had happened and the Dean told me that I was the 4th in a line of women who had complained about this man. He was terminated from the University.

I passed the Statistics course, barely. :-)

I then went on with my life, got married, had a kid, went to law school...never thought about that awful incident again.

The whole thing literally came rushing back to me during the Anita Hill testimony...the whole sickening, nasty thing. And when it came back, it made me physically sick.

I have enormous respect for the woman today who stood up before the world and dredged up what are probably some of the most sickening memories of her life...memories of being a victem of a powerful man in the most basic way any woman can be victemized.

[seabeyond]

1. some on du seem to be saying that since you did not prosecute, it did not

happen.

all you did was address it to higher ups.

or maybe the man did not know it was harassment, just wanted to ask you out. you know, a confused man

that being said

good for you having the courage to speak up at the time.

[Raven]

3. I still wonder what would have happened if I had been the first

woman to complain.

[notadmblnd]

7. I've never considered it harassment if a guy made an comment to me in regards to sex.

I do consider it harassment if I ask him to stop and he continues to do it. As far as touching/groping without being invited; I consider that assault.

[seabeyond]

15. he was whorin her. not with money, but with grades. fuck me and you get a pay back

you dont consider that harassment?

[redqueen]

17. I have to wonder how many people would agree...

that being solicited for sex is not a form of harassment. Especially women.

*sigh*

[WingDinger]

26. When a guy murders you after spitting on you, he is not a spitter, he is a murderer.

[notadmblnd]

24. Did I say that?

No, I don't think I did. I didn't say the Poster's experience wasn't harassment either.


But I have had men make comments in regards to certain features I possess and when I have expressed displeasure with those comments and requested that they not be made and the comments ceased. I have not considered that sexual harassment. I've really never had an occasion in my adult life where the behavior continued when I've said stop.

Believe it or not, some men really don't know how to give a woman a compliment in such a way that it doesn't come across as crass and they have to have it explained to them in little words.



So I guess I shoul have mad 3 statements instead of two;

1. Suggestive remark = not harassment- unless it continues after requested to stop
2. Sexual extortion = Harassment
3. Groping/touching = Assault

Okay?

[seabeyond]

25. some young 20 yr old sittin at phones at reception desk and a man says, give me a blow job?

you dont have a problem with that.

she doesnt have a right to be able to sit at her desk, doing her job, without a man asking for a sexual act because he is socially inept?

[notadmblnd]

27. he say's that over the phone? I hang up. If he calls back, it's harassment.

if he stands at the desk and says that- he gets smacked. If it continues, it's harassment.

[seabeyond]

29. you dont get to smack him, that is battery on your part. not all women and young girls are you

it is so easy for me to put a man in his place. so very fuckin easy for me. as it appears for you. but not all girls and women are as aggressive as you and i.

so, a fellow employee or boss walks up to the desk of the young woman minding her own business and says

give me a blow job.

she does not get a work environment where it is ensured she will not purposely be embarassed or humiliated in a sexual manner?

not what you would do. not what i would do. looking at not having a hostile work environment for the people that are not you and i.

[notadmblnd]

31. I posted how I felt about sexual harassment. I didn't say everyone had to feel the same way

However, you seem to be telling me that I should agree with your view of what sexual harassment is. I'm sorry, I don't.

I clarified my response when you criticized my opinion and I gave an answer to the hypothetical question that you posed me.

Now, you don't seem to like that answer. Yes, he would get smacked, and I guess it would be assault. But I think he'd have a tough time explaining why he was assaulted IF that situation were to occur.

I realize that not every woman may feel as empowered as I do and I do believe that corporations should take reasonable measures to ensure that the work environment is positive for all employees. I'm sure that you and I both know that sometimes a creep falls through the cracks and they have to be dealt with. All I did in my post was relate how I feel about it.

I wasn't speaking for other women in my post. I would never presume to speak for anyone else or tell anyone else how to feel about any given situation. And I really don't know how you got the impression that- that is what I was doing?:shrug:

[seabeyond]

33. thank you. i know i probably went much further than you wanted to.

and i appreciate this post. what i would do, is not what a lot of younger women unsure can do. i tend to think more your way, but i would absolutely support a womans right to not have to have that environment.

i have been lucky in that i worked in male environment and the male bosses made no bones about apropriate behavior and respect to the women and all employees. no sexual harassment. it didnt mean people didnt flirt, or go out, or even get together. but there is a difference in harassment.

[notadmblnd]

34. It wasn't too painful

I'm glad there are strong women like us. Hopefully we can encourage others to be strong by relating our experiences and feelings.:pals:

[seabeyond]

35. that is always my goal. i tell you, after listening to this from those that shrug it off

my 19 yr old niece came over today and we had a conversation. exactly what you an i talked about. don't ever be timid, shy away, allow. be bold, be firm, dont allow. for the next gal.

[elehhhhna]

45. if a male authority suggested your son (let's say the kid's' 18) suck hm off

for a grade, promotion, dropped speeding ticket, whatever...would you feel more insulted, less, same?

[Remember Me]

43. No, it's harassment from the get-go

What you THINK is or isn't harassment doesn't necessarily correlate with what is actually sexual harassment. Nor should your high tolerance for the indefensible be applied to women who are less tolerant.

[raccoon]

47. He might smack you back. nt

[treestar]

77. He could have you charged with assault

Offensive touching at least.

[Honeycombe8]

62. The story didn't involve "a guy." It was her professor....teachers & students

have a unique relationship. It is unethical and cause for dismissal when a teacher gets involved with a student, much less unwanted advances or inuendos or attempts at blackmail (sex for grades).

It's similar in the workplace, when the aggressor has a more powerful position. It's not a level playing field, and the victim's employment or future employment or futre is being held hostage for blackmail sex.

No, those aren't "guys" like you're talking about. Those are men in authority positions using their positions to blackmail their victims, people who have no power in the relationship and need what the aggressor has...grades or employment or whatever.

Shooting the bull with "a guy" who goes to the same college as you, and the guy says you have a great _ss or whatever...that's not what the OP is about. I've had many instances of inappropriate comments by "a guy." That's not what the OP, or the Herman Cain, stories are about at all.

[WingDinger]

9. I hope that strawman is not meant for me.

She said NO. In this instance, he accosted/assaulted her. Never can that be tolerated. And the yank on her hair to position her, is downright hostile. He wanted service. That should disqualify him instantly for pres. That he equated her service with a job offer, makes him a sexual predator.

BUT, saying NO, is still a critical part of dealing with sexual harrassment.

[seabeyond]

16. i am glad you clarified that. but i dont know that it had anything to do with you. just what i

have been reading last couple days. as i said in the post above, wasnt just asking a gal out.... was whorin her. i pay (with grades) you play.

i have not just read this here. i have read on cnn, and there boards. seems to be the common theme. harassment is only when it isnt wanted.

[RedCloud]

85. But it is more assault in that case.

[Warpy]

11. Addressing it to higher ups is sufficient if they do something to remedy the problem

and that something can be anything from convincing the attacker that one more report will result in his termination and acting on it to firing him on the spot.

Charges need to be pressed only when the higher ups protect the attacker and the victim suffers a loss of income or prospects because of it.

What crossed the line with Cain is that he tied the fourth accuser's job prospects to her willingness to service him sexually. Had it just been a tacky pass it wouldn't have crossed the line. Threatening her potential livelihood did.

[seabeyond]

so, in your book a woman/girl does not get any pass if nothing is done and she chooses

to not do a he dais/she said? she has done nothing. not a god damn thing, but if she is not willing to face the humiliation and trashing, she is at fault?

i know why women dont say anything. whether it be harassment, assault, battery or rape.

[WingDinger]

28. I believe there is a horrible statistic that says half of all rapes, and I assume that includes

date rapes, are never reported. The grueling gauntlet of questioning their chastity, is too much for many frail women, that started out strong.

[seabeyond]

30. fbi reports anywhere from 30%-70%. for that statistic to be so far out on what is NOT

reported says a whole hell of a lot, firstly. and there can be the strongest of woman/girl and knowing it is a he said/she said. we have seen on du alone the justifying, vliating, excusing. unless she got the shit kicked out of her with PROOF she faught and fought hard, forget it.

and the diss of the victim we have seen in rapes....

[kag]

65. I think there is a fine line here.

When I was about twenty, I worked for the University library system--a VERY female dominated arena.

There was a guy who wasn't my superior and had no control over my job who used to come over to my desk and try to flirt. I didn't really consider it harassment yet, even though his obvious "advances" were making me pretty uncomfortable. He finally asked me out on a date, one which I'm sure he thought I would never turn down--good seats at the U2 concert that EVERYONE I knew was going to--I said no, thank you. But he didn't stop coming over and talking to me, keeping me from getting my work done.

I was very young. I had only ever worked for my dad, so I was extremely ill-equipped to handle this. I finally went to my boss, and she told me that she wondered when I was going to get around to complaining to her about him (turns out she had already spoken to the guy once, but he assured her that he was just "being friendly".) I was SO relieved.

Well, she marched right over, took the guy over to HIS superior, and took care of it immediately. The guy didn't speak to me after that. It was still a little awkward to see him around, but at least I wasn't being "harassed" and was able to do my job.

It really wasn't until years later that I looked back upon this as "harassment". It certainly was NOT abuse or extortion or anything "illegal". But I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if this had occurred in a male-dominated atmosphere. That is not to say that no guy would have handled it the same as my boss, but I do think that many guys would have considered it beneath him to "handle" it, might have thought me weak and ill-equipped and/or just shrugged it off and told me to ignore him without taking any measures.

As I said, a fine line.

[seabeyond]

74. i ahve always worked in male dominant jobs with male bosses. fortunately, i also have always had

male bosses that didnt put up with any crap and expected, demanded, insisted it was a comfortable working environment for the handful of women. the one time i finally got around to saying something to the boss about an uncomfortable environment, he immediately addressed it and was more a "why didnt i see that" on his part.

i know it can be done and it is all in the management. because that is what i always worked in.

[LiberalEsto]

37. Things were very different in the 1960s

The deck was completely stacked against women.
If you accused a rapist or harasser, YOU were the one put on trial.
You'd get called a prostitute, lesbian, man-hater.
Your sexual history became part of the court proceedings.
You'd be accused of "leading him on".
Your manner of dress would be taken into account - if you wore a low-cut blouse or short skirt you were "asking for trouble."
It took a lot of years, a lot of court battles, and a lot of education efforts for the courts and law enforcement to do things differently. And I'm sure there are still communities and cops and judges with this mentality.

[seabeyond]

39. yes. and in the last decade, we are going backward. that is what is scary. nt

[Alameda]

50. Exactly!!! Been there had that happen.

[alp227]

73. sexual harassment is a crime?

hmm, i know that the EEOC punishes employers who fail to punish SH. But can one really have a criminal record for sexual harassment? I wonder.

[trueblue2007]

76. if it happened.... IT HAPPENS!!!

IT HAPPENED TO ME. OWNER SAID HAVE SEX WITH ME.... I SAID NO.

i got fired 3 days later.

i never complained to anyone. did i get sexually harrassed. OF COURSE

[Nye Bevan]

2. What a disgusting creep (nt)

[spanone]

4. k&r..

[mike_c]

5. I was once a teaching assistant for that guy....

Well, given the timing, in the early 1990s, probably not THAT guy but another one that sounds similar. He was married, yet preyed on undergrads and graduate students alike. When I knew him he was in his SIXTIES and still at it-- my ex was one of his victims (made TAing his class kind of interesting, although of course she and I were not involved at the time). I never understood the attraction-- sure, female college students are mostly young, many are attractive and single, but the power dynamics make any real relationship very difficult. I can't imagine that simple sexual desire is sufficient to explain it either-- the complications alone would likely overwhelm any sense of satisfaction, not to mention the knowledge that she isn't sleeping with your fat old ass because she wants to. All in all masturbation sounds like a whole lot more fun.

[Raven]

8. I think it's all about power. Look at Cain's response to that woman's

objection: "You want a job, don't you?"

[coalition_unwilling]

51. When she said that line, I knew right away she was telling the

truth, because that's exactly what someone in Cain's position vis-a-vis her would say when faced with an objection.

Fucking a-hole.

BTW, thank you for mentioning Anita Hill. I see that episode and her courage in coming forward as transformative in my own life (and I will never forgive Biden for allowing Hill's character to be sullied).

[kag]

81. Anita Hill was/is a hero.

It still pisses me off that Thomas is on the Supreme Court, even without all of the corruption and blatant disregard for the law that has been uncovered recently--which is bad enough. He never should have been put there in the first place. And he needs to GO. And SOON.

My 13-year-old daughter and I have never talked about when Hill testified at Thomas's confirmation hearings, but when we do, she will know what courage and fortitude Anita Hill displayed. And she will know how the CONGRESS, of all people, tried to destroy her character and her reputation, rather than take her seriously and give her the respect she deserved and still deserves.

:grr: :grr: :grr: :grr:

[kag]

80. I wish I could rec your reply.

"All in all masturbation sounds like a whole lot more fun."

:rofl:

[mike_c]

82. or at least a lot less trouble....

:thumbsup:

[frazzled]

6. When I was in graduate school ...

I had an interesting experience. I was all of about 26 and had my first appointment to teach an undergraduate course. I had to set up weekly office hours for the students. The chairman of my department called me into his office and explained to me that when male students came to my office, I was required to keep the door open.

I was stunned, because it never occurred to me that a young (and at that time fairly newly married) woman would be considered a threat to young undergraduate males. It seemed ridiculous to me at the time. It probably wasn't. It was a safeguard (to protect me from accusations as much as the students). I only hope the male faculty members were given the same rule.

[Raven]

10. Interesting point. Women can be predators too. My first advice to

Will when he took a teaching job at a girl's school was to keep the door open. :-)

[noiretextatique]

64. i was harassed by a female professor in grad school

she never tied my willingness to engage her to my grades, but she did call me at home and she made strange comments to me, in the classroom in front of other studemts. i reported her to the dean and she left me alone, and gave me the appropriate grade. i am gay, but i had no interest in her. i've had a few uncomfortable work experiences too...usually with supposedly straight women.

[kag]

83. DUPPETY DUP. SORRY! N/T

[kag]

84. When my brother was a principal at a middle school...

...in a relatively poor, mostly minority neighborhood. He had a problem, not with harassment, but with being falsely accused. He once had a couple of BIG girls tackle him and kick him, so HE called the police. When they came, the girls started to cry and insist that he had tried to "touch" them.

Fortunately, when my brother told his side of the story, and was able to produce cuts and bruises to prove it, and once the police had interviewed the girls individually, the cops believed him. But he still had to meet with the superintendent and the district's legal counsel just so they could cover their asses.

He was already pretty careful about things like "leaving the door open," but after that he was downright paranoid about it. I don't blame him.

[Siwsan]

12. I was in the Navy

Harassment was almost a daily issue. Reporting it did absolutely no good. It was one of the reasons I decided not to re enlist.

[Gregorian]

13. As a male I had something similar happen

I went to some kind of eagle scout reunion a few years after high school. It was held by the scoutmaster of the troop I had been in as a kid. He's a wealthy single man. Somehow we ended up at his house. I had an inkling that he liked me, as well as other guys in boy scouts. He began to play a game whereby I had to do something I really didn't want to do in order to learn how to commit myself. I was floundering around trying to find work, and really wanted his help. Without saying explicitly what he was up to, he made it very clear. I wasn't playing around with just anyone. This man has recently run for attorney general of California. I doubt he would like the things he has done, and tried to do, to come out.

He was absolutely amazing as a leader in that troop, as odd as it may sound. But this showed me another side that was pretty shady.

I didn't have anything to lose in this interaction like you did. But it's still quite unnerving.

[Texasgal]

14. The summer before college

I worked for a rather large luxury hotel chain. 1988. I was 19 years old.

It was a new hotel, so I was part of the training crew. I was in room service.

The food and beverage manager was a jerk. We were in training ( the hotel had not opened to guests yet ) so the managers and other higher ups were staying in the hotel to give us all a "trial" run before it opened to guests. He was constantly calling me baby and cutie... etc. I was not a prude but I was very uncomfortable with his pet names he had for me. I was the only girl on room service, the rest were guys... and he was very rude and combative with the male staff. Screaming expletives, calling them "pussies" etc.

One evening during our training I was called to deliver wine bottle service to his room. He answered the door in nothing but a towel. He told me that this was how some guests would act so I needed to now how to encounter them. As I chilled the wine glass and went about my steps of wine service he removed his towel. he stood before me naked and told me to join him for some conversation, and some wine. Shocked, I turned right on my heal and left. I did not say anything. I just turned around, opened up the suite door and left. I found myself RUNNING down the foyer.

When I returned to the kitchen, I sobbed. Told one of my co-workers what happened and I left. The very next day I called the guest services manager and told him what happened. He advised me not to return. I guess I had quit. One week later I went to collect my paycheck. They fought with me over how many stupid fucking jackets I had been issued. I had TWO. Which were returned, they said the B&A manager said i had THREE and I could not have my pay check until all the uniforms had been returned. I was LIVID by then.

I tried calling anyone and everyone to tell them what had happened to me. You know what? No one gave a shit. The "higher ups" listened to my story and said "thank you for calling" They finally released my paycheck but that was it. I haven't thought of this story in years. Had I known just a bit better about life and other things I would have went to the police.

I too am extremely proud of this Woman today. I am not so sure that I could do that today if pressed to do so.

[Raven]

18. Wow. At least I got some satisfaction. Interesting, isn't it , how these

things never leave you...no matter how many years go by.

[Texasgal]

20. Just typing that post

I could feel the embarrassment and humiliation all over again.

We must stand by our Sisters. I fully support these brave Women that have come out with their stories.

[kag]

86. Me, too, Texasgal.

And from one Texas gal to another (although I now live in Colorado, but I was born in Austin and raised in Longview), we definitely need to stand by our sisters.

Your story made me angry just thinking about it. I like to think (I'm sure we all do) that I would have handled it the most professional way possible. Truth is, when actually confronted with it, I don't really know what I would do. Probably break down crying, knowing me. :scared: :scared: :scared:

But the more true stories that make it out into the public consciousness, the better equipped we all become to deal with it, and hopefully the less it will happen in the first place.

[Ship of Fools]

23. Yep. It was nearly 7 years before I remembered my ordeal,

and when I did remember it, I started getting shaky and weak-kneed, and then I threw up.

[catrose]

79. For everyone still feeling it...

Listen to Barbara St. John's song "Aftershock."

http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Barbara-Saint-John/dp/B0001ZQ3OG

For everyone who doesn't see what the big deal is, listen to it too.

[redqueen]

19. It's good that you had the strength to do something about it.

Sadly, many women are raised in households which back up the idea that women are there to serve men's 'needs'. Such women would be much less likely to report such behaviors.

I find it disappointing and disturbing that those women are so often brushed aside, because they 'should have dealt with it'.

[Texasgal]

21. I agree. I wish that I had had

enough gumption to go the police with my story.

It is disappointing that many victims are brushed aside. This has been going on for too damn long.

[redqueen]

22. You had the gumption to say something to the Dean, though.

Be proud of that. So many women are too cowed to do even that.

We see the statistics about domestic abuse, but we fail to tie that in to these kinds of behaviors. We leave so many people behind and let them fall through the cracks.

[femrap]

32. Glad she had Gloria

Allred at her side...an experienced lawyer dealing w/ harassed and sexually assaulted women.

[knitter4democracy]

36. I had a college prof threaten to paddle me and two other female students.

We were in a class that was predominantly male (2/3 male with a male prof who kept silencing the women and allowing the male students to do so), and we'd had our own conversation in the back about the piece because it had been very clear that night that our voices wouldn't be heard. We were the last to leave the room, and he stopped us and said, "Am I going to have to get out the paddle for you three if you keep talking in class like that?"

One gal left before she started yelling at him. The other stood there shocked. As I was just a stay-at-home mom taking the class for fun, I got mad. I remember looking down at my keys and thinking that, here I was, a wife and mom and that he had zero right to talk to me like that. I told him, "I'd like that." He looked shocked, and then I followed it up with, "Because I have a lawyer who needs some work." The last gal left laughing down the hall while I ripped into him that it was not okay in any way shape or form to say what he did, that the class was already a problem for the female students, and that if he said anything remotely like that again I'd press charges with the university and make sure my lawyer wrote it all up good and solid.

He was better after that. If you go full court press on them, sometimes it gets them to stop, but that's not always the case.

[NNN0LHI]

38. I admire your bravery for turning this thug in to your Dean

Thank you for doing the right thing.

And I am very sorry and saddened that you or anyone else has ever had to experience something like this.

Don

[Cerridwen]

40. Kick.

[Cerridwen]

41. Kick.

[Odin2005]

42. K&R

[snot]

44. It's crucial to distinguish betw. situations where there IS or is NOT equal power.

When the person asking for sex has power over the other by virtue of position or setting that gives that person greater power or authority, such as a parental or teaching relationship, a significant age difference, etc., there's a great risk that proposing sex with the less powerful person will be abusive, since the other person will likely feel coerced or unduly influenced to permit the intrusion.

[raccoon]

46. Thanks for sharing that. I'm so glad you reported the creep. nt

[coalition_unwilling]

48. +1,000,000,000 x 1,000,000,000 - Anita Hill revolutionized my

consciousness as a male and changed my attitudes and behaviors (I hope) forever. Any Republican woman who now supports Cain is like a Jew who, after 1919, supported Hitler.

[seabeyond]

52. . she did the same for me as a female. i was young. i learned a lot during that trial. nt

[Alameda]

49. I had a similar thing in high school....at that time I was so naive

I didn't realize what was going on. Fortunate for me, I brought a male friend with me. The teacher flunked me. Sexual harassment of women was so prevalent in the "good old days" it was just about taken for granted. I remember going for a job interview and the "boss" taking my hand and trying to put in on his dick. I resisted and left, but didn't get work either.

I admire Anita Hill and have no problem believing what she said. You know in your gut these guys did it. Once you have dealt with guys like this, you recognize them.

[pasto76]

53. I'm a father of two daughters, and a husband and a war veteran

I like peace. I like peaceful resolutions to conflict.

I would cash out every asset I have to pay for one of my daughters to flee to a non extradition country if they killed someone who was sexually harassing them.

It is an abysmal behavior. Much respect to any female who has ever had to deal with the shitheads of my sex.

[seabeyond]

55. my daddy took care of me, too. lol. he taught me a lot

the biggest thing was my own personal self worth. he respected me. he is old, and still, i thank him for it.

i am also a pacifist, so dont condone violence.

thanks for your post. does a daughter good.

[tavalon]

54. I have tremendous respect for you

I'm glad you didn't let him railroad you.

[JDPriestly]

56. Something very similar happened to me with a professor who had

been a famous set designer at the Metropolitan Opera.

I was a kid, really young, and looked even younger than I was.

He must have been in his 50s.

It was so obnoxious.

I did not complain. I just resigned myself to the fact that my grade might be lowered by this man out of spite.

[madmom]

57. I had a situation in high school also.. one of my classes required a part time job, the

school usually helped us find a job close to home. I went for an interview at a local shoe store, the manager showed me the "break room". It contained a mattress on the floor along with a stereo a liquor cabinet loaded with all kinds of paraphernalia both for drinking and smoking. He told me only "special" employees got the key to this room. I went back to school and reported his ass. Little did I know another student had also reported him. I found out later that because the whole school knew she and I were truly each others nemesis, THAT was the only reason they believed us and checked into it. They didn't think we would be in cahoots with each other to be false charges against this guy.
The guy was fired and not long after the store went out of business, at least in our town.

[Raven]

58. Another memory...

I can't remember what I said to this professor when I left his classroom but I do remember meeting friends in the cafeteria that night for dinner and the Professor was there. He came by my table...he leaned down to say hello...he had a plate of liver and onions and it stank. I can still smell that smell.

Now, I was not assaulted and I ultimately passed the course...no harm, no foul? Far from it. These events are formative, distructive and are carried forever.

[RaleighNCDUer]

59. A guy hitting on a woman once is not harrassment.

A guy who has the slightest power or authority over a woman hitting on her even once IS harrassment.

I'm amazed at the number of people who don't get it.

[seabeyond]

61. how about taking out "hitting on her" and merely say, ask her out? nt

[RaleighNCDUer]

63. I'm good with that.

It's such a common phrase I've never realized the violent implications of it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

[valerief]

72. How about promising a good grade if she put out? That's what happened. nt

[seabeyond]

75. i wasnt addressing the op.

i was addressing NC using hitting on instead of asking out.

:shrug:

[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Enthusiast]

66. You are to be commended.

Ya done good.

[SunSeeker]

67. You're a hero--takes guts to report a professor-you saved others

I was lucky none of my profs did that. Maybe before I took statistics, you or someone like you cleaned out my school's staff lounge of scum. Thank you!!

[rosesaylavee]

68. Anita Hill did that for me too. n/t

[The Traveler]

69. Thank you for sharing that with us

And for taking that action. Peace and bright blessings.

Trav

[RainDog]

70. k&r n/t

[valerief]

71. Get a good grade for putting out. If that isn't harrassment, I don't know what is. nt

[catrose]

78. 40 years ago, 19 years old, my first orchestra job

The conductor, a Famous Man, asked me out. I politely declined, saying that I was engaged. Immediately afterwards, he began complaining to my section leader about the "quality of my playing." The dear man defended me. Finally I confessed to him--I was ashamed, mind you--and he said the conductor was doing that to every woman who turned him down, which was everyone. He was a nasty, dirty old man. And incompetent on the podium. But several women lost their jobs. Yes, he did create a hostile work environment, but I didn't know about that phrase then.

And the really awful thing was that I quit college to audition for this job because of the sexual harassment/assault by my principal instructor. Nothing personal; he did the same to all his students as soon as they turned 18. Females for sure; men, I suspect.

I don't need all the fingers of one hand to count the people I've told these stories too. Things were different then. It spoiled music, the love of my life, for me.

But I believed Anita Hill. And all of Cain's accusers. And my guess is that all his defenders do the same thing.

Thanks for opening the topic. You did good.