Beware Your Partner's Sudden Interest in Fitness

[apples and oranges]

A new study claims that a partner’s sudden interest in weight loss could really mean they’re losing interest in you. German Professor Thomas Klein, who studies the link between happiness and body weight, found that people in steady relationships who abruptly begin to diet and exercise are possibly planning to break it up.

Relationship expert Leslie Seppinni of Los Angeles agrees, also noting that weight loss might be a sign of many things, but that an affair is a definite possibility.

“It could easily be a sign of cheating,” she says. “The person is no longer feeling bored and dissatisfied. ”Instead, they are feeling alive and want to look their best.”

“Any time your partner makes a change in front of you, don’t sit back and let it go,” she says. “If out of the blue your partner is no longer a couch potato, you should want to know why.”

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/beware-partner-sudden-interest-fitness-220400464.html

[Brickbat]

1. This is the dumbest thing I'll read all day.

I feel confident making that call at 10:05 a.m. CST.

[MedicalAdmin]

15. Yup ... I'm losing brain cells already.

I mean, WTF?


It could also mean that they want to get back in shape or fit into those old cool pants. My wife is losing weight right now and I am cheering her on. I'm proud of her. And she's convinced me to join the gym with her.

[PCIntern]

28. She was just telling me about that yesterday at the hotel...

sorry...couldn't resist!

[cliffordu]

30. rofl......

[MedicalAdmin]

32. So .... How did she look?

Rofl. Thanks. I needed that.

And seriously, as long as she is happy ...

[Howler]

37. LOL!

Mr Howler and I both decided to work on our fitness.There is no third party involved.
We are just trying to improve our lives and selves.
We are even making it a very friendly competition on who gets the "Six Pack first". :)

[HopeHoops]

2. Yeah, well it can also mean that you can't see your Mr. Dinkie anymore.

I dropped from 175 to 120 (normal weight) over about 2 years simply by watching my diet. Sex is far better when you aren't floating on a rubber raft - and I'm not talking fucking close to water.

On Edit: My blood pressure also dropped from a 150/120 average to more like 115/70.

[wtmusic]

6. LOL yep I suppose true love means being overweight. nt

[HopeHoops]

8. Well, I feel a lot better now and for some reason the "pregnancy" didn't result in stretch marks.

I'm a guy. I've almost got my six-pack abs back (not quite).

[Mojambo]

3. It's important to keep your partner as fat and miserable as you

Synchronous dysfunction makes for happy relationships.

[pipi_k]

7. that's not what the article is saying...

not even remotely.

What it's saying is that if, all of a sudden, one of the persons in the relationship SUDDENLY starts spiffing up, there could be a reason beyond, "I want to be the best I can for myself AND my current partner".

That's all it's saying.

[Mojambo]

42. I'm aware of that. It was a little thing called a joke. n/t

[Missy Vixen]

11. Thanks for the sweeping generalization

>Synchronous dysfunction makes for happy relationships.<

We've been married. Once. For eighteen years.

How long have you been married, and how many times?

Signed,
Fat, but Happy

[pipi_k]

4. I've been on the other side

of the improvement in hygiene and appearance thing, so yeah...it makes sense to me.

Especially if, like the article says, it was sudden.

People in a long term relationship get to a certain level of comfort with their appearances, often letting some thing slip a little.

If things slip a bit (or a lot) and then all of a sudden they're important again... for sure I would be somewhat suspicious.

[Mojorabbit]

24. THis is just what happened in my first marriage

All of a sudden it was diet and hitting the gym for him after amost a decade and he was having an affair. I guess it can certainly be true in some cases.

[mmonk]

5. My family has no worries from me then.

[mrs_p]

9. lol

:toast:

[mmonk]

12. .

;-)

:toast:

[mrs_p]

10. I've seen this happen -

but I didn't conduct any statistics at the time to know if it is truly significant.

For me, when I went all fitness crazy, it wasn't because I was losing interest. It was because I was turning 30 and wanted to start a family. Seven years and a baby later, some of the weight is back and I'm anxious to get back to the gym.... someday.....

[Dorian Gray]

29. Me too

I started losing weight when at 35, i had difficulty conceiving. 90 lbs and 3 years later, I got pregnant and had my first child. It was a long road.

It wasn't about cheating or trying to look hot for other people. It wasn't even about looking hot for my husband. He lost some weight with me, and we both feel much more confident and happy with ourselves. But I realize that our situation isn't everyone else's. People do things for a million different reasons.

[Godhumor]

13. I recently loss twenty pounds due to work stress. Apparently, my wife should have suspected my loss

She might start looking at those "long hours at the office" I was always claiming, too.

*Quickly hides the internet from her*

[pipi_k]

41. Not necessarily...

If you have pay stubs or actual pay to back up all those working hours.

And if you looked like hell while losing weight...stressed and harried.

It's hardly ever just one thing... ;)

[logosoco]

14. Well, apparently my husband of 25 years fell for my cover

that I have been walking and working with an exercise ball for my arthritis/joint issues. He must be senile!

[MedicalAdmin]

17. You hussy! n/t

[gkhouston]

47. You're probably balling every night.

Hussy. :7

[Bucky]

16. Oh my God, now I'm worried about Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign

[Gidney N Cloyd]

18. They used to say you'd know Newt was starting a new affair because he'd be hitting the gym again.

[Bunny]

19. This is a newsflash?

It's long been known that people who have a new love interest begin to take more care with their appearance, e.g., dressing nicer, losing weight, getting their hair done, etc.

[MineralMan]

20. Beware bloggers writing about crap...

It could mean they couldn't thing of a relevant thing to write. "Relationship expert Leslie Seppinni?" Really? What does that mean, actually.

[BiggJawn]

21. Maybe I'm just tired of having 6" of it buried in FAT?

At least I still have something to hang onto when I pee...

[Marrah_G]

22. Great way to encourage fitness ABC..........

:eyes:

I have started going to the gym in the hopes that combined with my already healthier eating, I will lose some needed weight. I want to be around for my partner for a long time and to be able to live an active WITH him.

Not to say that this doesn't happen sometimes. I do have a friend whose wife had surgery, lost a lot of weight and decided she wanted to go have fun more then she wanted to be a wife and mother.

[TlalocW]

23. A better sign is...

If your partner suddenly decides to buy a lot of new underwear (especially guys as we can be notorious for wearing underwear until it's just an elastic band and a few threads).

TlalocW

[msanthrope]

25. New jewlery. If she wears a new piece of jewlery on all clothing except her nightgown,

then she's having an affair.

When a man starts 'manscaping?' Affair.

Suddenly takes up golf? Check that he actually goes to the course.

There's a reason I don't do family law anymore.

[TlalocW]

27. Hmmm... Good thing I'm single

I'm finally able to find time and money to take some fun classes (would never take up golf - nice walk spoiled by a little white ball) and recently took a sewing class (only guy in there), and I want to take some glass work classes, and music lessons.

TlalocW

[Xithras]

26. I'd prefer: Beware your partner's lack of interest in fitness.

I've never understood why so many people spend so much time worrying about their looks while they're trying to attract a mate, and yet stop caring about their looks once they get one. Is your partner not worthy of the effort? To me, THAT is a sign that your partner has lost interest in you.

[seabeyond]

33. hubby and i do for each other and ourselves. never considered for another, lol.

this is a stupid article. true and not. all kinds of reasons to start exercising and changes can indicate an affair.

meh

[babydollhead]

31. In High school my boy friend started working out, asking

asking me if he looked good from behind or what ever. It was because he like some one else. Another boy, asked for my friends number, I thought he wanted to ask he what i wanted for my birthday, but no, she was willing to have sex with him and I wasn't. I learned these things. One more, and I'll stop, this is what I sadly had to teach my daughters, "If you need help, scream, "Fire!!", people will come and help, not if you yell, "Help!!"

[NightWatcher]

34. I used to be a PI, I could give you a list of warning behaviors (see below)

Starts paying special attention to their appearance, new clothes, working out, new hair style
Starts showering before coming home
Starts smelling of cologne or shampoo or other new fragrances
Starts working out
Becomes accusatory towards you
Comes home from work later than normal
Plans outings with "friends" you've never heard of
Starts hiding cell phone or erasing call history, or buys burn phone
Starts hiding or securing laptop, erases history or "left it at work again"
(A weird one)..Starts cleaning and vacuuming out their car more often
Hides receipts or changes address that their bills go to
Conceals expenditures of cash or credit cards
Opens new bank accounts. (Check the mail for new companies. If yall use BoA and Chase statements start showing up)

I could think of more, but I've been out of the game for a few years

[babydollhead]

38. ooooh I like that you used to be a PI

[laundry_queen]

48. Thanks for that list.

When my ex cheated, he did NONE of those things. He was very good at hiding it. Mind you, he's a narcissist, so he figured he was god's gift to women anyway and didn't need to shower any more than normal, or put on nicer underwear, or work out. He figured he was perfect as-is. LOL. Every hint I had was only clear in retrospect, nothing overt and definitely nothing on your list. I still had all his passwords, Visa accounts, bank statements, pay stubs etc etc, nothing strange at all - I even went over all the statements afterwards to see if there was something I had missed while this was all going on (I had a friend who found a $500 Coach purchase on her husband's visa, and she knew *she* didn't get any Coach for Christmas and that's how she found out). There was ZIP with my spouse. Not ONE thing. Of course, I now suspect he was getting his girlfriend to pay for everything and she was stupid enough to do it, LOL. They deserve each other.

[babydollhead]

60. I love your user name. I am sorry for your pain.

I won't cheat on my husband because, 1. I am not lovely and young any more and there are no takers and 2. I would be sad if he had someone else to laugh with cuddle with.

[freshwest]

55. That must have been fun. I attended a 'what's your parachute' class. They said I'd be good at it.

[yellowcanine]

35. Lots of posters here seem sceptical but I think there is something to it.

Note that it says "sudden" change, as in overnight, not, "I got a bad prognosis from my doctor and I realize I have to do something about it." - actually in those cases the change is more gradual at least if they follow doctor's orders.

Note also that this is not something the authors just pulled out of their butts - there was some research involved. The researchers studied more than 2,000 people ages 16 to 55, and found that most single people weighed less than those in long-term relationships.

Note also the conclusion wasn't that a sudden interest in fitness wasn't always an indicator of infidelity, this is just one of the possibilities.

[Prometheus Bound]

51. Oh, there's definitely something to it.

Ignoring this sort of thing is like ignoring body language. It tells you a lot.

[BlueIris]

36. Ditto sudden interest in doing laundry or picking up a new set of interests that don't include you.

And, of course, the biggest tip off for me personally, both times someone cheated--new sexual skill(s) you didn't, er, discover together.

The spouse or partner is always the last to know. After the kids and the dog, even.

[yellowcanine]

59. The dog is without a doubt, the first to know. If you have a dog, best not bring the "other" around

when your spouse is there. The dog may tell some tales on you.

[MilesColtrane]

39. Just how does one become a professional "relationship expert" anyhow?

[BiggJawn]

44. By going through about 200-300 relationships of their own.

3-4 marriages, help break up a couple dozen marriages, you know, that kind of stuff.

[kctim]

40. Sooooooooo

Any ladies wanting to feel more alive and wanting to look their best?

[freshwest]

43. IDK about this, but why do some guys try to get their wives fat? Is this why?

I think that when a person is working to improve their health through exercise and such, their spouse should support that. If not, maybe they aren't going in the same place. It doesn't mean they have to split up, but have to respect each other that way.

[laundry_queen]

49. Why some men try to get their wives fat

Simple. In point form:

-These men know that if they think their wives are hot, someone else must think that too.

-If their wives are hot, someone else will pay attention and try to screw her

-Because he knows HE would cheat if he found someone as hot as his wife, he imagines his wife would cheat on him in a hot second if she has the chance because he knows deep down he's a piece of shit and doesn't deserve her

-Therefore, if you get the wife fat (or keep her barefoot and pregnant) you don't have to worry about other men going after your wife, and then your wife won't cheat and leave


This is fucked up thinking but I've been there and only in retrospect do I see the pattern. And every time I'd start a weight loss program, my ex would ridicule me, tell me I'd fail, refuse to help out with the kids so I could have time to exercise or cook healthy, complain about the extra cost, complain my new food was crap and demand I cook his old (fattening) favorites and so on. Then when I wasn't dieting, he'd tell me he loved me the way I was, that he didn't care about my weight at all, that I was perfect for him, etc. When I did manage to stay on a diet and lose some weight, I got comments like, "Now you're going to get all skinny and go find some guy in town to fuck and you'll leave."

It's total manipulation. No normal nice guy would treat their wife like that.

[freshwest]

54. Thanks, I had a suspicion that was what it was.. Insecurity.

And it's like being harrassed by the person closest to you. I hated it. I'm glad that he finally told the truth to you, though.

And yeah, the one was telling me 'you don't eat enough to keep a bird alive,' and I wasn't hungry either, just happier than I'd ever been with myself. And yeah, he became my EX, too.

When we broke off it was as you said, judging me by his standards. He kept claiming that I 'must have found another man,' and then promised that, 'you'll never find another man like me.'

To the first I said, 'I'll be better off by myself,' and meant it. And to the second, I said, 'No, I'm sure I won't.' Of course he didn't understand not wanting to make the same mistake twice.

Manipulation inevitably backfires. What a waste of time and love. I'm glad you moved on, like most people do.

[Swede]

45. Shouldn't this be in the 911 conspiracy dungeon forum.

I kid!

[RagAss]

46. Sounds like a personal story.

[cherokeeprogressive]

50. I SURE hope my tax dollars weren't spent on a study whose results have been obvious since cheating

started...

[Fumesucker]

52. Not at all obvious to everyone if you read the thread.. n/t

[iris27]

53. This is news? It was always my father's "tell". n/t

[Contrary1]

56. My husband is no longer a couch potato, and I couldn't be happier.

He goes to the gym three or four times a week, and plays golf every chance he gets.

He feels so much better, and that's fine by me. If he has a "friend" on the side after 39 years of marriage, he's hiding it well.

[flvegan]

57. I can't begin to express how stupid this is.

I'm a trainer. I've had hundreds of clients. Not a single one has stated during any discussion that he/she were interested in getting fit/healthy so they could break it off with their SO. Rather, I'd have to give this one a 100% the opposite rating.

Morons.

[47of74]

58. Maybe their doctor asked them to lose weight...

Sigh.

[Courtesy Flush]

61. This just happened to my cousin

They've been married for maybe 8 or ten years. My aunt just told me this weekend that my cousin's husband served her with papers. She's a really sweet person, and they were one of those couples who seemed made for each other.

He just started the fitness thing about a year ago, and recently participated in his first half-triathlons.

Don't know if this proves anything, but it jumped out at me, under the circumstances.