I've decided to hoard underwear.

[krispos42]

I'm going to fill every nook and cranny in my house with underwear. I figure I can stick a million pairs of briefs if I get rid of the furniture and stack things carefully. Optimistically, I'll live 30,000 days before I die, so I've got a safety clean underwear margin of 33-to-1.


Am I crazy? Yes.






I'm going to hoard commemorative spoons. Every nook and cranny of the house I'm going to fill with boxes and boxes of commemorative spoons. I figure I can stuff a couple of million of them in the house, if the attic beams don't collapse under the weight.

Am I crazy? Yes.





I'm going to hoard ketchup packets. Every nook and cranny of the house, I'm going to just stuff with stacks of ketchup packets that I lift from fast-food joints and convenience stores. I figure I can surround myself with 8 million examples of salty, tomato-y goodness and joy.

Am I crazy? Yes.





I'm going to hoard $100 bills. Every nook and cranny of the house. I figure I can stick about 4 million of them in the house if I'm careful; that's 4 and a half tons of paper.

Am I crazy? By the standards currently in place... no.




And that's the tragedy.

[Make7]

1. Phase 1: Collect underpants... ( n/t )

[NMMNG]

2. Phase 2: ???

Phase 3: Profit!!!

[krispos42]

5. I think this is particularly impressive for a male

As the lifespan of our underwear is typically measured in decades. :D

[Historic NY]

7. shoot for a record...

http://community.guinnessworldrecords.com/_Cosmopolitan-breaks-Guinness-World-Record-for-the-largest-gathering-of-people-wearing-underpants/blog/340606/7691.html

[krispos42]

8. I took a deep breath before clicking the link.

Whew.

[Historic NY]

9. Now you need to collect more than 146 male friends.

:hi:

[hifiguy]

21. The entrepeneurs themselves

[Ohio Joe]

3. Hoarding ketchup packets is not crazy

One never has enough ketchup :P

[AnotherDreamWeaver]

6. It has "Natural Mellowing Agents"

Just list to any Prairie Home Companion show.

[slackmaster]

23. No, but it BECOMES crazy when a rat discovers your ketchup packet hoard...

...and finds a sheltered place in your kitchen that isn't accessible except from behind your cabinets.

A rat can live on ketchup alone. Especially a rat that is smart enough to evade capture by your cats.

[Wait Wut]

24. Solution:

Hoard cats. Little bastards might get away from a few cats...but a hundred? Pfft.

[Autumn]

4. ketchup packets, a damn good idea. You will have tomato

soup for the rest of you life, and they are free. Just need hot water to go with them.

[999998th word]

16. +Vodka for a Bloody Mary, spaghetti sauce ...

[Capitalocracy]

10. It's not like rich people have a gigantic Scrooge McDuck vault full of gold coins

Part of the reason it doesn't "look" as crazy is that they don't actually keep it in their house... it's numbers on a computer that indicate this person is richer and more powerful than the rest of us combined.

Maybe WE'RE crazy for believing it.

[AllyCat]

11. Numbers on a computer...that's even CRAZIER!

[krispos42]

12. glowing phosphors painted on glass.

:-)

[krispos42]

13. You're right. I should move my underwear, spoons, and ketchup packets to a Westy's.

THEN I'll be sane! :crazy: :-)

[AllyCat]

14. love this!

[TeamPooka]

15. Makes sure it's just your underwear.

:)

[NYC_SKP]

17. I think you should bribe congress to pass laws that take all of our underwear to feed your habit...

:hi:

K/R

~ . ~

[JDPriestly]

18. As long as you don't hoard garden dwarfs (Have you seen Amelie?),

you are not too crazy to be trusted.

[krispos42]

20. I hoard naked garden dwarfs... is that okay?

I'm trying to protect the public from their awesome nudity. ;-)

[ck4829]

19. Let's compare hoarding old newspapers and money using the traits of compulsive hoarding

Collecting so much of the thing that you put it in abnormal places?
Newspapers - Fill up the house, rent a garage, fill your car, etc.
Money - Cayman Islands and other tax shelters

What do you think of people who are trying to get rid of your stuff?
Newspapers - They hate you and they don't want you to own anything
Money - They're socialists and they want class warfare

What's the relationship with the law?
Newspapers - Can cause fire hazards and block exits
Money - People who do this push for deregulation so what they do can't be called illegal

This is a mass hysteria that is going on, it might be time to consider that the people who are hoarding massive amounts of money and unstable. And that would mean that the politicians, the media, and the Tea Party are aggressive enablers for this problem.

K&R.

[GoCubsGo]

22. The Underpants Gnomes will be thrilled to hear that.

Or, are you training to become one? ;-)

[yawnmaster]

25. whose underwear? eom