My daughter's HEALTH class

[Robyn66]

My daughter who is a sophomore in high school has to take health, ok fine no problem. We have no problem talking about sex, drugs rock and roll, what ever just pops into her head which is awesome. It may be because of the Aspergers no filter thing, but I think its great for whatever reason, especially because it is an example my younger daughter can follow and see that she can talk to me about anything and I will not freak out.

Well this health class in a PUBLIC SCHOOL, is teaching ABSTINENCE based curriculum. My daughter has come home with the following gems:

Did you know birth control causes cancer?

Condoms don't protect you from STD's or Aids

Plus she had to do the baby project where she brought home a robot baby that cried and needed to be changed because that was going to teach her to wait to have sex.

So daughter and I have had many sit downs about this class. First she wanted a purity ring (because she liked the Jonas Brothers I suspect) I told her, if you don't want to have sex you don't need a stupid ring to show it. And I was in the awkward position of being a mother telling her young daughter that she may not want to wait till she is married to have sex!! But I want her to come talk to me before she does and we had the big talk about love and mutual respect and relationships. THen she asked me about condoms and where you buy them and I said just about anywhere and then she wanted to go buy some just to see the look on the cashiers face when she bought them and she wanted to hand them out at school. I told her that probably wouldn't be accepted very well but I think she is a pretty awesome person and I am proud of her for being so strong in her beliefs at 15!

The capper was yesterday when she came home with these beauties.

Black boys get their girlfriends pregnant, take crack, leave them and then end up in prison.

White boys get their girlfriends pregnant, abuse alcohol and SOMETIMES leave their girlfriends but are more likely to marry them.

the teacher also said that kids needed a strong male female couple for roll models.

My darling daughter raised her hand and said "what about two men or two women?" The teacher said "well I have my opinions about that but we wont discuss them"

I am just ranting because MY TAX DOLLARS are paying for a class that teaches racist and homophobic things to be taught and I am incredibly pissed off about it. Unfortunately, I live in a RED RED RED part of NH so its not like I can get any support when I complain. And I HAVE complained. FOrtunately the term is almost over but it just SUCKS that this is being taught in MY school district!!!!

:rant:

[jtown1123]

1. Thanks for posting this. You are an awesome Mom. My health class did the same thing.

I was in public school and took health as a junior. I think we covered sex briefly, but only abstinence was discussed as the only surefire way not to get pregnant or STDs. Until parents make a stink about this, school administrators will still get bullied by Puritan belief systems. Have you thought of writing to the School Board? Getting some parents on board with you? Until that happens, this will probably continue. What is also pretty alarming is the racist and homophobic slant this teacher has. Maybe you should complain about that too because that is unacceptable. Thanks for posting and good luck with your daughter.

[Kalyke]

11. Well abstinence IS the only surefire way not to get pregnant or contract an STD.

I mean, sure, they should teach high schoolers about birth control and safe choices, but the fact is that abstinence is the ONLY way you can be 100 percent sure not to get pregnant or get a disease.

Duh.

[jtown1123]

18. Yeah, but come on, how effective is that? We all know that already.

The statistics on condom failure a lot of these teachers give out are complete bs. Thank God for PP.

[Kalyke]

25. I'm not disagreeing, per se.

However, I got pregnant with both my children while married and using two forms of BC. Neither of which was the pill, which I can't take. I can't take steroids for health, either.

My point is that the poster said that abstinence was the taught as the only "surefire" way. But... it is.

[Pithlet]

27. Abstinence only education is a failure.

Failure to teach children about birth control leads to higher rates of teen pregnancy and STDS. It... Just does. ETA that the poster said that ONLY absitance was taught... Read the post again. That's the problem.

[Kalyke]

32. You're misunderstanding my point.

Yes, abstinence only education is a fail.

MY POINT is that the only SUREFIRE way (per the poster) to prevent both pregnancy and an STD is abstinence.

I said, above, that teens need to be taught other options, but that does not negate the fact that abstinence is the only way to prevent the other things.

Sigh... this in not an argument...

[Pithlet]

49. No one was arguing that point.

I don't think she was saying what you thought she was. It's just that that point is moot. Teens as a group aren't going to abstain.

[Kalyke]

50. Of course they're not going to abstain and that was never my point.

My point is that abstinence is the only option that is 100 percent effective.

That said - I do NOT agree with abstinence-only education - for the very reason you and I agree: most teens are not going to abstain.

[Pithlet]

55. Yes, I realize that was your point. I just didn't quite get why you were making it.

It seems a rather obvious one. I think most here probably realize no sex=100% chance no babies/STDS and that it's also common knowledge that birth control isn't 100% effective. If someone is savvy enough to participate in this conversation then they probably know that. If someone in this thread had been arguing otherwise, then it would have made sense. It just seemed odd to argue it, and people who argue it are usually arguing for abstinence only. I believe you now :) but I was a little suspicious at first.

[alarimer]

54. A recent study found a high rate of STDs among those who claimed to be abstinent.

Clearly they are telling people who ask what they want to hear rather than the truth. Because abstinence education is a complete and utter waste of time. It is harmful even because (as the original post mentioned) the curriculum is clearly full of lies and misinformation.

[The Doctor.]

47. Teaching abstinence prevents teen pregnancies the same way

That leaving the lights on during sex does.

It's not the act of abstinence that fails, it's the teaching itself.

[ehrnst]

33. But lying about contraceptives is a crucial part of "Abstinence Only" curriculum.

Kids that take the "abstinence pledge" are shown to have had sex just as early and often as the kids that didn't have Ab Only education and were less likely to use contraceptives when they did.

A lot of those kids know that their parents use contraceptives - so they either have to disbelieve the teacher, or freak out about their parents health.

Lying to kids backfires, especially when they figure out that you did.

[Kalyke]

51. Agreed - not my point, though.

My point is that abstinence is the only alternative that is 100 percent ("surefire" in the poster's vernacular) effective.

[SidDithers]

34. Abstinence is only effective if teens actually abstain...

Which, for the most part, they don't.

Sid

[Kalyke]

52. See Post 51

[PassingFair]

53. "I think we covered sex briefly..."

That sounds like an chapter opener in
my autobiography.

[Kablooie]

2. Sounds more like a class encouraging unprotected sex.

I learned that sex before marriage means certain death.



Usually in your 80's or 90's.

[surrealAmerican]

3. You're going to have to complain.

This sort of misinformation is likely to cause actual harm to some of the students, especially those who can't discuss sex with their parents.

Stories like this make me very glad to live in a "blue" town.

[Neurotica]

6. Seconded - from someone who did complain

We have an "abstinence-plus" program -- better than many, but not as good as it could be. Several years ago some of our high schools brought in a Christian abstinence-only comedian to do an assembly for the entire student body. The comedian, who conducts many True Love Waits seminars, used scare tactics and stereotypes and misrepresented information. The *highlight* of the program occurred when he held a cinderblock over a male student volunteer's genitals to illustrate the risk of condoms.

Some friends and colleagues got together and we essentially worked this issue for the entire school year. Our main point was that the students were not being given the right information to make good decisions.

It does take a lot of effort but it is worth it. We have not had this particular comedian back, and nothing similar has occurred since.

[hootinholler]

10. I'm *really* having trouble trying to think of what the connection between ...

A cinder block and a condom could possibly be.

:shrug:

Nadda, I've got zilch.

-Hoot

[Neurotica]

15. It sounds crazy, doesn't it?! I'm looking for a video link

for you. (just looked again and the youtube video that news articles and blogs had always linked to has been removed due to "copyright claims" by the comedian....hmmm)

The comedian's name is Keith Deltano. I hate to give him any publicity, but really, this tactic is unbelievable. He calls for student volunteers several times throughout his assembly. To illustrate a point that he makes that condoms are ineffective against HIV, he calls for a volunteer student couple from the audience. I forget exactly what scenario he works through with the girl (I need to look at my notes), but with respect to the boy, he talks to him about a picnic and says that if he is planning on a picnic and if there is a 90% that it will be sunny and a 10% chance of rain, what will you do? Of course, you'll go on the picnic. And so on and so forth. But then he straps the boy down to the top of a table that he has on the stage (really) and holds a cinder block over his genitals and basically screams at him asking what he'd do now if there was a 10% chance he'd drop the cinder block! He yells something like is 10% good enough for you?!

One of our many questions was...how in the world could the administration think that it was ok for a guest speaker to hold a cinder block over a boy's genitals, as the boy was strapped down to a table? Would a teacher be able to do the same...? I don't think so.

We invited SIECUS to come to one of the assemblies. Here is the report they issued afterwards:

http://www.communityactionkit.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.viewpage&pageid=998

[hootinholler]

16. An excellent report

I see, he's using bully tactics to force the response he wants.

Asshole.

-Hoot

[Neurotica]

17. Bullying indeed. It was awful to watch.

We later held community forum to promote more responsible ways of teaching sex ed.

SIECUS is a great organization BTW.

[GreenPartyVoter]

23. Yep. You really have to complain. This is a serious twisting of information that

will not serve the students' best interests, which should be staying healthy and preventing pregnancies until they are ready for them.

Sure abstinence works in theory. But that's mostly what it is, a theory-- with a lot of pregnant and/or sick subscribers.

[badgerpup]

4. More and more...

I'm thankful I got edumacated in the permissive 60's and 70's.
We had Sex Ed (but we had to call it "Health Ed" so as not to upset our parents' delicate sensibilities) and the take-away message I remember is "You're best off waiting...but if you absolutely MUST jump, then for crying out loud, USE A PARACHUTE!" :thumbsup:

Lotta kids in my year having sex...('member how once you'd been 'initiated' your eyes were OPENED...:wow:...and allova sudden you just knew?) but I think only two of them ended up pregnant.

One of them really was a genuine "Whoops!"
The other one was trying to trap the guy into 'doing the honorable/right thing' (read: "stick around and marry me even though the relationship is OVER":yoiks:).
It didn't work...guy cheerfully gave up all rights to the kid and married somebody else.
Talk about 'whoops'...:shrug:



For some reason, lying about your birth control status in order to trap someone (goes for both sexes here) does not strike me as an 'honorable' thing or a good beginning to a relationship, yanno? :eyes:

[blogslut]

5. That teacher should be reported

You may not get the school to end teaching abstinence education but you might get that teacher to stop spouting racist and anti-gay ideas.

[MedicalAdmin]

7. Don't complain locally.

Have your daughter get handout so you have tangible evidence or have her record the classes. You could probably get permission for her to do so using the ADA given her aspbergers - tell the school that recording helps with her homework or something.

And then take it to the state and federal level. Of course you should file a local complaint first so that you have documented evidence that they knew about the problem and did NOTHING.

But complaining locally is a waste of your time. So don't.



On edit: Good luck.

[Neurotica]

9. You also need to be willing to go to the press

Publicity would be a great tool in helping to shed some light on what is going on in this class, even if you live in a red area. In the situation in my school district, I found that although many of my neighbors had different political perspectives, they all agreed that they wanted to keep their children safe, and that they wanted their children to be given correct, factual information that would allow them to make good decisions.

Before you go to the press, you need to be organized and well-informed. You need to do research on good sex education programs, and be able to explain how your program differs and where it fails. SIECUS is a good resource (www.siecus.org)

You also need to develop talking points -- three main ideas that you would want to convey. Look for areas of commonality (we want to keep our kids safe), rather than pointing fingers and blaming the teacher. Reserve those discussions for the privacy of your home, although the superintendent should be informed about all the particulars.

[Fleshdancer]

8. Oh yes, health classes...

I remember my class experience. The nurse glossed over the subject of rape by simply looking at the boys and saying "why steal the milk when there are plenty of cows who give it away for free?" :grr: She's still on my shit list for that remark.

Your daughter's teacher made racist, sexist, and homophobic remarks and lied about birth control. A formal complaint needs to be made. The thing about condoms is technically true in very rare cases, but the other stuff is complete bullshit.

[Robyn66]

14. I forgot one thing

She apparently got in to prison rape as a discussion topic too. Some of the topics discussed in class seemed a bit out of the norm for what I would consider appropriate high school health class.

When I took health in high school it was very clinical but a detailed description of sexually transmitted disease and the consequences of sex. Although rape was a topic, it was described in matter of fact detail and just wasn't mired in conservative opinion like this class is. Of course that was in the 80's 1983 to be specific so the whack job right was not in control as much.

The funny thing is, my daughter was doing her reading for her class and she shouted ENOUGH ALREADY I GET IT ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE!

[LynneSin]

12. Religion aside the racist overtones are absolutely disgusting

That alone is enough reason to can that horrible health teacher

[Lorien]

29. +1. Her obvious racism is vile beyond belief. Is there no diversity in

your daughter's school? Regardless, I would take the teacher's racist remarks up with the school board.

[Bunny]

13. I remember during the Sex Ed part of Health class in high school,

(early-mid '70s) one of the girls in my class asked the teacher if you could get pregnant by swallowing semen. The rest of us were cracking up, but to her credit, our teacher remained composed and answered honestly and professionally. A question like that nowadays would probably cause one of these teachers to have a stroke or something. :eyes:

[hedgehog]

19. Are there any actual scientific studies showing the artificial

baby thing does any good?

[alphafemale]

24. I've heard many of them get eaten by pitbulls while the girl is having sex with her boyfriend

....at The Olive Garden.

[Odin2005]

20. I got detention in high school for questioning a fundy helth teacher's BS.

[Robyn66]

43. So far my daughter hasnt gotten in trouble

From what I understand from her she is constantly asking questions which clearly annoy the teacher maybe because she has Aspergers they are not as likely to punnish her because the school KNOWS what I will do to them. I have already made a big stink because my daughter CLEARLY leans progressive and speaks her mind and I demand that her beleifs be respected. Probably 98% of her classmates are as far right as you can get and they have no problem telling her that she is un-American and I dont stand for that.

My daughter has the highest IQ in the room and when they were talking about abortion and the teacher was talking about life beginning at conception, my daughter raised her hand and gave this detailed description of fetal development and said her beleif was that if you wanted to call a fetus life the earliest you could consider that would be when the brain had developed. ANd the teacher shot back "the heart starts beating at 9 days" and when she started with "actually that is not a true heart..." she was cut off.

But so far so good, no detentions, but if she got one I would go in and sit with her and give the teacher a piece of my mind

[felix_numinous]

21. What an extremely racist, homophobic

and uninformed 'health' instructor. This sounds like something from another century.

[mimitabby]

22. i think you ought to let her go buy a condom

[ChoppinBroccoli]

26. I've Heard Fundies Tell Kids That Condoms Fail TWENTY PERCENT OF THE TIME

What a great set of values and beliefs you must have if the only way you can get people to follow you is to lie to them and scare them. Seems to me that that's really all organized religion has: lies and fear.

[WiffenPoof]

28. You know...I just give up... n/t

[nadinbrzezinski]

30. I am so glad I don't have to deal with this.

Because I suspect my less than nice side would come out.

[garybeck]

31. Where do you live?

If this were Alabama I wouldn't be surprised. California, now that would surprise me.

either way the teacher needs to be reported. that is not accurate information on sex and the other stuff is racist.

[Robyn66]

44. New Hampshire

Which is a surprisingly red state.

[garybeck]

48. i'm next door in vt. i would definitely call the principal if it were me

bigotry and lies from a teacher need to be addressed. teachers are role models. also they should not be giving out false information to students. some of what you said is factually inaccurate.

[Shallah Kali]

35. Drink the Spit

The United States has spent over $1.5 billion on abstinence-only-until-marriage lessons like these. It's time to stop wasting tax dollars on these failed programs once and for all.

Click here to demand an end to funding for biased, silly, ineffective abstinence-only programs: http://bit.ly/c3chF5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoIeXgCfwNI

"Girls Shouldn't Have Ideas" (Abstinence-Only Lesson #2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmwJvgKTTjw

Did you know that taxpayer-funded abstinence-only-until-marriage programs teach girls that having ideas will scare all the boys away? This video shows an actual lesson from the abstinence-only-until-marriage program "Choosing the Best." Click here to take action: http://bit.ly/c3chF5

The United States has spent over $1.5 billion on abstinence-only-until-marriage lessons like these. It's time to stop wasting tax dollars on these failed programs once and for all.

[JackDragna]

36. Just teach her well and she'll be fine.

Here's kudos to you from a science teacher who's seen his fair share of utter bilge passed off as sound practice when it comes to human sexuality. Your daughter sounds like she'll do a fine job of figuring things out for herself despite mitigating circumstances.

[proud2BlibKansan]

37. I sat through an 8th grade sex ed class last year and was stunned

Among other gems, the kids were told:

1. The media WANTS them to have sex

2. There are STDs that can be transmitted without sexual contact

3. All the kids have to do is play basketball and they won't want to have sex

[JackDragna]

38. I don't know about you, but if I play a tough game of hoops..

..all I want to do immediately afterwards is lay down and cry. :)

[Skidmore]

39. I'm going to send the text of your post to my daughter who has

a young person rapidly approaching this age. Just as a headsup to her to check out what the school teaches.

[Arkansas Granny]

40. I have no problem with abstinence being taught as on method of birth control and disease prevention.

However, I believe in comprehensive sex education which also teaches alternatives to abstinence because I realize that many, if not most, teens are not going to remain abstinent until marriage. These are young people who will soon be on living on their own away from parents. They need and deserve complete and factual information if they are going to make responsible, informed decisions.

[Iris]

41. You can request that your child be removed from the class. Used to be people did that when

they didn't want their kids learning about sex, now you have to do it if you don't want them to learn lies - esp. lies that could KILL them

[1955doubledie]

42. I guess I should consider myself "lucky?"

At my kid's public junior high (very red state), sex isn't even mentioned AT ALL.

[Robyn66]

45. Kind of

If you have an open relationship with your kids and you are able to talk honestly about sex etc... I think its better than having to find out what "lies were taught today" so I can debunk them.

Just yesterday I had to explain to my daughter that RU486 really isnt the ABORTION PILL, that is just a right wing talking point. But we can talk about these things easily.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

46. Everybody has a boss.

Start with the Principal and then the school board.......... :shrug: