Let the holiday stupidity commence!

[proud2BlibKansan]

Warning issued about popular method for cooking turkey

OLATHE, KS (KCTV) -
The Olathe Fire Department is issuing a warning about a popular method for cooking turkey.

Crews were called to a home near 127th Street and Black Bob Road on Monday about a deep fryer on fire.

Firefighters were able to contain the flames to the fryer on the patio and the home was not damaged.

The fryer was similar to a turkey fryer, and the fire department would like to use this opportunity to remind everyone about some potential safety concerns.

Firefighters say that oil can spill out from the fryers and cause a third-degree burn in less than one second and that vapors coming from the device can easily ignite.

http://www.kctv5.com/story/16102092/turkey-fryer-warning

[DCBob]

1. the holidays often depress me.

and Im already feeling it.

[proud2BlibKansan]

2. 8 Stupid Questions People Ask the Butterball Turkey Hotline

Something to make you laugh:

Question: "Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?"

Answer: Yes! In this hurried modern world in which we live, I can understand, sir and/or madam, why you would want your turkey to cook quicker, and we here at the Butterball Hotline are here to help. According to my research, the average self-cleaning oven can achieve a temperature approaching 900 degrees. And since we suggest cooking a stuffed, 14-pound turkey for four hours at 325 degrees, putting the same turkey into a 900 degree oven will have it finished for you in just over an hour.

What's that? How will you know precisely when it's done? Easy. After about twenty minutes, the turkey will catch fire. When the flames fade to a dull orange color and the turkey itself is about the size and color of a charcoal briquette, it's done. Bon apetit!

Question: "Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?"

Answer: Yes! The Butterball Hotline suggests using a gentle wash cycle so as not to bruise the bird and the addition of six ounces of liquid fabric softener to make sure it's nice and tender.

Question: "How do I get a chihuahua out of my turkey?"

Answer: Excuse me, m'am?

Question: "My chihuahua crawled inside my turkey and is stuck. How do I get him out?"

Answer: Why would you want to do that? Chihuahuas are both delicious and nutritious and will bring a nice South of the Border flair to your Thanksgiving meal. Just take into account the weight of the dog when calculating a cooking time, and it should make for some excellent eating after being basted for several hours in a Butterball turkey's delicious natural juices. Oh, and also? I'd make sure your oven door has a strong lock.

Question: "Is it okay to clean out my turkey with a scrub brush?"

Answer: Yes! Butterball suggests using a toilet brush because the unique shape conforms almost perfectly to the insides of a hollowed out game fowl.


more . . . . http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/voracious/2010/11/8_stupid_questions_people_ask.php

[DCBob]

3. Ha!!

good ones.

[ragemage]

7. Damn that is good stuff

That is just awesome...

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. This one's great!

Question: "Is deep-frying my turkey safe?"

Answer: Yes! And it should be done inside the home, while wearing shorts and flip-flops and drinking heavily. Be sure to have someone standing by with a video camera to document the glorious results and post them on youtube for all of us here at the Butterball Hotline to enjoy while we take your calls instead of having Thanksgiving dinner with our families.

[ThatsMyBarack]

15. Welcome to DU, ragemage!

:hi:

[sarge43]

13. ...a nice South of the Border flair....

:spray:

[cyberpj]

4. Agreed. It's hard to ignore the massive 'buy-buy-buy' energy that has replaced love and gathering

together in the dark of days with lights and a shared day together.

[DCBob]

9. I hate shopping this time of year.

its torture.

[proud2BlibKansan]

11. So do I and I LOVE to shop.

I'm sitting here now putting off that last minute grocery store run. Yuck.

[Rainbowreflect]

6. The holidays can be a really hard time.

:hug: I hope you find some joy during this time.

[DCBob]

8. Thanks!

I have some "joyful" things to focus on. I think its more about being depressed for our deranged society rather than being depressed for myself.

[MineralMan]

5. Morons abound, and they consume chemicals that make them

even more stupid on holidays. Keep the firemen and EMTs in mind as you celebrate. I do not remember a single Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner when my father, brother, and brother-in-law did not have to leave the table to answer a call for their volunteer fire department. Not one.

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. Years ago when we first heard about deep frying turkeys

one of my co-workers said her kids asked her to cook their turkey that way. She said she told them no, so the local firefighters could enjoy THEIR Thanksgiving dinners. :)

[malthaussen]

14. First time I ever heard of deep-frying a turkey

But I'm agin' it.

-- Mal

[proud2BlibKansan]

16. It's very popular here.

And every year someone burns down their house while doing it.

The local TV stations used to do it live on the air but they quit, hopefully because of the yearly house fires.

[DCBob]

17. Its a big deal in some parts of the country... especially the south.

Im not really a fan. I guess Im just a traditionist.

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. They say it's actually very tasty

Of course I'm not willing to try it to see if it really does taste good.

[DCBob]

19. Yes it is.. very moist and flavorful..

I just like the traditional way of cooking.. except I do make one exception.. I use a plastic cooking bag! Ha!