My Version Of The Michele Backwards Bachmann Reality Strikes Speech/Add anything I missed

[louslobbs]

Good evening. My name is Michele Bachmann from Minnesota's rightwing, wackjob, psychotic 6th district

I want to thank the Tea Party Express (a wing of the Republican party) for using me to make this second Republican response to the State Of The Union, to my crazy Christian constituents and other armed and angry loons around the country. I'm here because of a plan to confuse you and a fake request made up by us, for me to speak this evening. This kind of fraud has worked well for us in the past, so we don't see a reason to change anything. You will hear and you will obey. These are official Republican remarks and I shared them earlier with Mr. Boner and Mr. Can'tor and Mr. Mc Conartist.

The Tea Party is a destructive force for evil in our national
confrontation, and it's opportunistic of me to speak with you. Telling you lies to divide this nation and confuse you, is an honor and as I do the bidding of the Koch Brothers and other millionaires and billionaires, I must admit, that my crazy religious beliefs do sometimes CROSS the line (get it? CROSS? lol) and I'm not sorry for that since I believe in speaking lies to power and to the people who share my psychosis, fear and anger, to keep the nation hateful, armed angry and most importantly, divided.

A divided people tend to fight our planned culture war, focus on the lies and fabrications, while we loot the 98% of the working people (YUK!) working people (eww!), to give for instance, 800 Billion dollars in tax cut bonuses to ourselves and to our rich friends, added onto the deficit for you, the suckers to pay in the future.

Yes we scream and lie about things related to the deficit, but when it comes to rich and powerful people, the rules are a little different. Since most of us in power are wealthy, we cannot afford not to give ourselves and our wealthy friends these tax cuts for fear of losing their support (Money/Donations) so that we can keep winning our elections and rigging the system for the benefit of rich corporations. Without their support, and the support of our FOX GOP Network, I fear, much of my time would be spent in an insane asylum where I really belong, but can you believe it, they are even crazier then me in the 6th and keep voting for me lol.

We have so sufficiently messed up and confused this country, that the idiot rabble who vote, were dumb enough to give us back some real power to continue gumming up the works and make Obama a one term President.

2% rich and powerful, manipulating, scamming, heartless greedy dirtbag pigs, and 98% confused, some uneducated, some toothless, gun and bible toting miscreants lol, some average regular people who ever they are, voting against their own best interests lol what a bunch of ultra maroons, a bunch of tah rah rah goondee a's. Fools and their money are soon parted lol. Anyway, I digress.

So I say, if you're so stupid to believe what I say and it keeps me in power with my government health care, why should I change a thing. It's a formula that works, and you keep drinking the kool aid so I keep making it lol. Anyway, Lord have Mercy on us.

Lies have put we Godless Republicans back in power and all of our lies have helped to fabricate and start this teabagging, astroturf, movement (with financial and other support from the KOCH BROTHERS)to help Republicans to further loot money from the majority of fools in this nation, to give to our rich friends and benefactors.

So my little sheeple, we Republicans/Teabaggers will continue on this course creating more lies and confusion to steal your Social Security and Medicare. The government is too intrusive (unless it's Republican run) and Nazi like to be on your side. I'm on your side and so is Jesus, and since we have GOD on our side, nothing we do is wrong especially if we do it in the name of GOD. So GOD BLESS you all and remember to vote for Republicans and we will rid you of your nasty Medicare so that we can finish the job and get rid of that deficit killing Social Security.

You will all be so much better off pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps, and the government deficit will shrink so your suffering will not be in vane. Just keep Jesus in your heart and the Lord will provide. I will be proposing policy that will build more soup kitchens and bring back the poor houses. More prisons and workhouses should do the trick. Each household that has not been foreclosed on, will receive a booklet on How To Grow Your Own Vegetable Garden with a starter package of seeds. This should help people as we phase out the food stamp program. I will also propose water pressure policy that will increase the water pressure in your homes so that you can fight fires as we phase out community firefighters to save money. Neighborhood watch should be bolstered and the Second Amendment should suffice as community policing is phased out as well. Only the wealthy neighborhoods will have police forces, the rest will have to settle things on their own. Bibles will be available to everyone for free at Walmart and all government office buildings with a special King James Version Covered in diamonds and gold limited to 1000 copies at selling at Neiman Marcus through their Christ mass Catalog. Of course, these will only be afforded by those who deserve them and because of that, can afford them as well.

If in the end, if we Republicans and our FOX GOP Network cause this nation to falter further and civil unrest begins, use your second Amendment rights and know I'll be rooting for you from behind the walls of my secure home as you fight evil. I won't be able to help you fight in the streets if this happens, as I must be available to form a new government after most of you are dead or injured in the new civil war we have been trying to force you into. I'm the brains and you are the brawn so to speak. Think of yourself as Christian Soldiers just like that fine gentleman in Arizona who cleared out some of the surplus population a few weeks ago and unfortunately only seriously injured a Democratic Congresswoman. We need more people to take to the streets to take back our country and water that tree of liberty. If we can't do it with ballots, we will do it with bullets. This time we came unarmed. Armed and Dangerous killing those that disagree with us, and we will win this culture war. Get rid of gays, put blacks back in their place and rid this country of the Muslim infestation and swarms of drug dealing illegal immigrants. This is a Christian Nation, hold your brainless heads high and pray. Do not think for yourselves, for the Lord will show you the way.

I was in my prayer closet last night, you know, like the one Carrie's mother had, and I prayed for guidance in how best to spread more crap to the viewers since those scum at CNN, opportunistic slop that they are, are going to air my propaganda. The Lord answered: Michele, just say what is in your heart.......well, since I don't have a heart, I asked for further guidance and the the Lord answered: just walk in lockstep with the party of God the Republicans/Teabaggers. This speech was the result of that prayer closet moment.

Goodnight and God Bless
Michelle Backwards Bachmann

[applegrove]

1. Brilliant. I dare you to post it on the free replublic!!!