Protip: Don't hire a sex offender to hand out yogurt samples to the public.

[Courtesy Flush]

http://www.woodtv.com/dpps/news/strange/woman-claims-bodily-fluid-in-yogurt_3705832

“It is a touchy situation,” Hoffman said. “We don't want to accuse someone if they didn't do that, but when you're looking at criminal nature people deny things that they've done. So it's up to us to get to the bottom of the story and find out what actually took place.”

Detectives said if testing proves there was semen in the yogurt the worker could be charged with battery. Police said that is the same charge someone gets when they spit in food.

[NuclearDem]

1. Ugh...another disgusting sex offender making the truly rehabilitated among us look bad

I mean, he hasn't had his day in court yet, but this...is just disgusting.

[TheCowsCameHome]

2. Good point.

Your ID has me laughing my bag off........:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Jesus, that is funny :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[guruoo]

3. "She told police she spit it out because it tasted like sperm."

I'm not gonna say it.

'Tuesday night detectives said a woman who was shopping at Sunflower Market on Corrales Road
and Alameda tried a free yogurt sample. She told police she spit it out because it tasted like sperm.'

'Hoffman said police scooped up the possible evidence and sent to the crime lab.'

'“It is a touchy situation,” Hoffman said.'

[NuclearDem]

5. Oh, you

I wasn't going to either but... :fistbump:

[Ignis]

7. Bold, milky overtones, with a slightly spermy finish.

Still, it gets an 89 Wilfred Dong score ;)

[Nuclear Unicorn]

9. As reported by WOODtv, no less

I guess this puts a whole new spin to "fruit on the bottom".

[Sonoman]

12. Three women walk into an elevator in the building where they work.

A Brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into the elevator on their way back from lunch.

Brunette, "Oh my God, is that sperm on the floor in the corner?"

The redhead dips her index finger in the fluid, sniffs it and says, "Sure smells like it".

The blonde licks said substance from redhead's index finger and proclaims, "I can tell you that it's no one who works in this building".

Sonoman

[Tunkamerica]

4. the comments on that story are, not surprisingly, hilarious and terrible

[hlthe2b]

6. So now along with the kevlar vest needed in CCW restaruants...

one must remember to bring your microscope, slides and blood/urine test strips....

:eyes:

[MrScorpio]

8. Seeing that there's no confirmation yet that the sample was adulterated...

I will say that the jokes write themselves.

[immoderate]

10. I hate yogurt anyway.

--imm

[monmouth]

11. Oh gawd, and I'm only on day 12 of my 14 day yogurt/cereal diet...n/t