Trying my hand at being a politician and tackling some issues:

[The Straight Story]

Egypt
I wish the people of Egypt peace and hope that they and their government can resolve their problems peacefully. Now is not the time to take sides but to, instead, offer a hand to all concerned so that a peaceful resolution can be resolved.

Economy
While have seen a downturn globally we must all realize that we are in this together. We acted quickly to ensure that the banks and other large corporations were given the funds needed to ensure that the engine of our economy kept operating. Over time that investment will pay off. While I know many of you are out of work, facing losing your homes, and unable to get the health care you need, let me assure that you are not forgotten.

Tough times are ahead for us all - we must cut spending. This will allow us to better invest in our childrens' future - the pain we feel together today will translate tomorrow into more money for roads, bridges, schools, and other shovel ready projects that will not only serve to strengthen our crumbling infrastructure but also provide work for those who are now seeking jobs lost to the global economic downturn.

We will not compromise, we will not flinch, when it comes to the security of our great country. As you sit at home you may wonder whether or not we are committed to defending this great country. We are. I will ensure that the funding that is needed to protect our way of life is there. Rest assured that even in these lean times we will live up to our obligation to protect you. Our airports will be upgraded to have the latest technology to protect you. Our fine young men and women fighting tonight will not have to worry whether or not they have the best technology to protect their lives - they will.

We will open up new avenues of trade as well. Free trade agreements with other countries will open up our markets to places that before were rarely available to companies here. This will help fuel the economy by helping to raise the living standards of impoverished countries - countries that will be seeking the goods the US produces.

Taxes
America cannot afford to see it's businesses leaving to countries that give them tax breaks, the money that should be staying here is leaving. We must work to relieve the tax burden so that the money stays here. Cutting taxes for all will ensure that the funds stay here in America, in our states and cities, those savings to the people and companies will be spent at your local grocery store or restaurant which will keep the jobs - and that job security will fuel the engine of growth.

Homeless and foreclosures

We will not, and cannot ignore those who tonight are without a home. Many others are about to lose their homes. We will work to insure that you are able to find work and be able to.

We cannot, and should not, simply throw money at the problem. That is why I have set up a commission to explore the best possible responses to these problems. Rest assured, we will do all we can to ensure that all Americans have the security they need, a place to sleep, and the ability to succeed and pursue their dreams.

When it became evident that some of our largest employers and financial companies were near failure, when I saw the affect that would have on the people of this great nation, I acted along with the congress to shore up the problem and stave off a crisis - and I promise to do the same now. We will not rest until we have a concise solution that we can implement to assist home owners in jeopardy of losing their homes.

For those homeless now, victims of the global economic downturn, be assured that we are working tirelessly to bring back the jobs needed to be able to afford a place to live.....
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Add your own if you wish :) And yes, there is some satire/sarcasm etc above ;)

Anyone can be a politician - you just have to learn to say nothing much using a lot of words :rofl: