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I've been hearing alot of people around here say that there's no such thing as non-forcible rape

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Very_Boring_Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:29 PM
Original message
I've been hearing alot of people around here say that there's no such thing as non-forcible rape
That's not entirely true. Legally, statutory rape is non-forcible rape. Please note, I'm not commenting on or defending the anti-choice bill, I'm just pointing this out entirely for the sake of accuracy.
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LiberalLoner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
1. I really hate the language and intent of that bill and hope it will be defeated, but
I have to say you kind of have a point here. (Everyone will be flaming me and you both here, hope you got a flameproof suit, LOL.)

Here's why I can see your point: At 13, I was having sex and quite honestly being a real ho about it too. Apparently mother nature intended for me to have a lot of babies from an early age. Or else there is just something really really wrong with me. I was doing my darndest to seduce all the grown men around me (painfully embarassing to remember and write about now) because I figured out they were a whole bunch more fun than the boys my own age.

Yeah, it was wrong of them to have "taken advantage" of me but dang, I was throwing myself at them in astoundingly shameless ways. When I look back on it...hey I know it was technically rape...but I do not count it as rape in my own mind.

Those experiences, which I desperately wanted and enjoyed, were entirely different in my mind than the experiences I readily describe as rape.

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Very_Boring_Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:51 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. don't worry, I'm practically a certified fireman after all the flame battles I've been through LOL!
I'm torn on the whole statutory rape thing. I don't think it's uncommon for a 14 year old to date an 18 year old, a 4 year difference isn't exactly the atlantic ocean. And teens are going to have sex, nothing new there. So I say no, it shouldn't be considered rape. But then we move up the age ladder and say what about a 45 year old dating a 14 year old? It just seems much creepier than a 14 year old dating an 18 year old, you know? And now we're at the point of saying that it should be illegal for an adult of one age to do something, but legal for an adult of another age to do something, just because it seems creepier when the older one does it. So this is one of the few things I don't have a solid opinion on, just because I really don't know.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. i can't see it as rape either. it is against the law. so regardless how much your 14 yr old self
flings yourself at these men, it is their place (the adults) to say no. if they dont say no, they break the law and suffer the repercussion.
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:59 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. A number of years ago
I work for a pregnant and parenting teen program. The girls were young, some still in middle school, but the average age of the fathers of the babies was 28.

I have no answers to this. It really bothered me to see these young women who were barely into their teens trying to manage a baby and school with little or no support from the guys who got them pregnant. Is this rape? It is wrong in my mind. These girls were definitely being taken advantage of and will have a tough life because of it.
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LiberalLoner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Yeah, looking back on it, it was wrong...men who do this stuff are creeps, as they should know
better...it's especially horrible and wrong if pregnancy and a child result or some other unfortunate event.

But in my own mind...when I remember those experiences...I don't think "that was rape." I just don't. Yeah...wrong of me, wrong of them, but I don't store those memories under the "rape" file of my mind.

I know that's only me, maybe I'm the only one who had these experiences...and there's part of me that knows if I hadn't been raped as a young child, I probably wouldn't have been so hyper-sexual at such a young age...but I still just don't file those experiences under "rape" in my own mind.
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:38 PM
Response to Reply #7
12. Ahhh..
You mention being raped as a young child. Whoa. Back when I did counseling that was the subtext of many many teen pregnancies. Too detailed and personal to go into on a message board but I will say that many of the "promiscuous" teens I worked with had been sexually abused as children.

I'm glad you for through this.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #1
9. The laws are there for a reason...
Any adult who does what those adults did with you commited a crime and should be punished. Now, your perceptions about this is completely different and that's fine.

My daughter was 13 and she was manipulated by an adult. It traumatized her and she had to undergo counseling.

I had the bastard arrested. It should have been sexual assault and rape in my book, but the law says it could only be statutory rape. He spent a couple of years in prison. I'd do it again.
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LiberalLoner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Oh, God, I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter. That was awful.
I'm glad you had him arrested but I am sorry he didn't get punished more.

I'm so sorry she was traumatized. I hope she can recover completely and have a happy life from now on.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Thank you. She's married and going to college now...
She's a tough girl. :)
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LiberalLoner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I hope she will grow to be a fighter for justice as you are :) n/t
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leftstreet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
3. Um, wow. I have seen VERY VERY FEW DUers make the nonforce claim
Edited on Sun Jan-30-11 07:56 PM by leftstreet
Did you just want a way to bring up this subject?

:shrug:
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MichiganVote Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
5. Statutory rape may be force by a different name but its still force
Force means more than, "Power made operative against resistance; exertion: use force in driving a nail.
b. The use of physical power or violence to compel or restrain: a confession obtained by force."

It includes:

"A capacity for affecting the mind or behavior;A person or group capable of influential action" or "To compel through pressure or necessity"


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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-30-11 08:21 PM
Response to Original message
8. Rape is rape...the methods used to commmit this crime does not matter...
Whether under the influence of a drug or the manipulation of minor by an adult...it is still RAPE.
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