••• Osama bin Laden apprehended •••

[breadandwine]

Today the State Department and the Pentagon announced at a joint press conference that a man believed to be Osama bin Laden had been apprehended along the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan along with his chief associate, Ayman al-Zawahiri. Both men are being taken to Guantanamo Bay for interrogation and processing. A furious internal debate is already raging over whether Ossama will be tried in a civil or military court. Ossana was believed to be in good health and ready to be moved. Although Ossana was denying all charges, one State Department official close to Secretary of State Clinton said the case against Ossanga was "very strong and we look forward to a vigorous prosecution in coordination with Pentagon and Justice Department offices. Ossanga can't win this." The case taking precedence over rape charges, it was believed that the Swedish government would defer to U.S. requests and have Ossange flown to the U.S. within a few days. If found guilty in the deaths of Americans at the World Trade Center on 9/11, Assange bin Laden could face 3,000 consecutive life sentences for leaking State Department gossip about the private sex lives of foreign leaders. The Republicans are already working with the White House to draft a bill that would make it a crime to publicly or privately mention any information of any kind not already publicly known. The law would impose stiff penalties on public officials, private citizens of legal age and underage newspaper delivery boys. All persons, domestic or foreign, having said knowledge would come under the proposed statute. Approximately seven billion people are expected to be defined as co-conspirators under the new law.

[Bobbieo]

1. Osama - Ossama - Ossanga - Ossange - HMMM?

[rapidsphare]

2. Re:

They know exactly where he is.. there is no way the CIA isnt following the guy.. but theres more to learn before chopping off the head of al qaida.. they will take him out as soon as the time is right.. by catching him you have allot of dead ends..

[Myrina]

4. ... they know exactly where he is ...

... because they've been sending him paychecks for the past 15 or so years. They have no intention of 'taking him out' or bringing him to trial, ever, because if you think Saddam Hussein had secrets to tell about this country's underbelly, bin Laden is the motherlode of information on the underhanded shit we've been into over there.

[piratefish08]

6. +1

[RZM]

10. What an absolute load

Bin Laden is not on the US payroll. If you want to make that argument show some evidence.

If he's alive, the US government would be very interested in getting their hands on him. It would be a propaganda windfall for any administration that brought him in.

If Saddam had secrets, I didn't hear about them. Access to him was tightly controlled.

Why would Bin Laden be a wealth of information about US misdeeds? Has he been tapped in to high level political intrigue living in caves for the last 10 years?

[rucky]

3. Andre Agassi got arrested?

:rofl:

[stray cat]

5. Blah

[Codeine]

7. Nope. Still not clever.

Please don't keep trying.

[panzerfaust]

8. Is too ...

[lunatica]

9. Teh morph! It is teh awesome!

[SidDithers]

11. Fiction. Poorly written fiction at that...nt

Sid

[wildbilln864]

12. he's long dead! nt

[MilesColtrane]

13. Why?

[Bandit]

14. Funny....and actually typical of our current state of Media.

:shrug: Good One

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

15. The charge is "wining and dining without a condiment"

Condiments are mandatory in Finland. Or Fallujah. One of those "F"ing places.

:hi: