Rapture Index 171 - Net Change +1 - Updated Dec 20, 2010

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

[Lucian]

1. I am Jesus.

There. Now it should go up another point.

[Hawkowl]

2. I am the anti-Christ

I see your point and raise +2!

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. As I am often known to say

you shall not know the time or moment of my coming.

IDIOTS...

And I am not even suposed to know that... I am not of the faith after all.

[Turbineguy]

4. So let's say I want to

make some money off this. How do I interpret this index?

[Jackpine Radical]

5. I dunno, but I think I might start a company

called Antichrist Incorporated™ to accept the movable possessions of the True Believers, thus facilitating their transition to Heaven. I'll have to invest in a lot of Goof-Off to remove all those little fish thingies and anti-abortion stickers off their cars before re-selling them, of course.

[muriel_volestrangler]

8. You're too late for the pet care franchise

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 24 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.
...
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html

[NobodyHere]

6. When it gets to 200...

I think it's time to sell.

[cali]

7. only marginally loonier than those that see the imminent collapse

of civilization in ethanol subsidies.