My mom

[hyphenate]

is 82, and counting now, and something slightly disturbing happened last night.

Mom is nearly blind, is unable to care for herself, doesn't watch TV. Essentially, she is isolated in a small, growing smaller world.

She used to be on top of debates and news, and used to read newspapers and was well aware of the world at large, at once capable of arguing local news stories and larger stories with most anyone. She has always been a bit of a woman's libber, and an inspiration to me as I was growing up. It's always been a part of me to be a strong Boston liberal because of her.

Last night, I found out that she didn't know who the president was.

How do you explain to someone all the events of the last 2+ years in a few minutes over the phone? You can't.

I told her about Obama as much as I could. I mentioned Joe Biden as VP, and I tried to explain about John McCain, and him she knew about. I mentioned Sarah Palin in as brief a fashion as I could. But two, three years? I will just have to wing it.

Does anyone else have to deal with someone so isolated? It's a difficult world out there, and we need to find ways to cope with the daily dealings, trying to keep from falling into the abyss. And knowing that some people are ignorant, not because they want to be, but because that's just how it is for them, is just a fact that we can't change.

It doesn't mean a whole lot in the real world. These people are not among the likely population that vote, debate or participate in the democratic sphere. They have limitations that makes life in general more difficult. They are among the voters who are often touted as the "non-voters" on election day--the ones who are assumed to not give a crap and just won't "show up" for voting. No one takes into account that they can't show up--they aren't capable of showing up.

We would all like to see everyone vote and take part in the process. But if we realize that some people just can't, we won't rely on their vote--if they do, it's a bonus.

Just think of all the people who are in situations where they can no longer perform their civic duty. We can't force them to vote. And even if we "help" them vote, what good is a vote when there is no thinking involved in it? We've seen people vote for something on a strictly visceral level--we are reminded of all the voters who went for Bush in 2000 because he was "just like" them--the one that they felt they could "share a drink" with them and be a "regular" guy. Telling people how they should vote is not a good way to earn a democratic win--it's a cheat. And yeah, it happens. And we've seen how it works in action, and it's unfair--completely unfair. But I'd rather see a loss honestly than a win undeserved.

My mom should now know who Barack Obama is. While she forgets things easily, I mentioned his name often enough to perhaps stick with her. When I vote, I keep her in mind when I decide who I want to represent the both of us. Even if she isn't voting, I am, and while my vote isn't two votes, I do try to make it count for more than myself.

[virgogal]

1. Forgetfulness is fairly normal at her age.

[WingDinger]

2. Hell, half this board is trying to forget who is pres.

:evilgrin:

[Skittles]

3. has she had a medical evaluation lately?

she should

[dflprincess]

5. Especially a review of her medications, their dosages

and how they react with each other. Sometimes what appears to be senility is caused by the drugs and can be remedied by adjusting prescriptions.

[Skittles]

8. YES

good point

[panader0]

4. My dad had Alzhiemers

It's not just forgetfulness. At this stage they need constant supervision. He used to leave things on the stove until they burst into flame. He used to walk out the door to get the paper and get locked out for hours. Much. much more. He was 78. Watch over her carefully.

[Mojorabbit]

6. I agree on the medical exam and

a review of the meds if any she is on. Best of luck.

[givemebackmycountry]

7. hyphenate - here's a hug.

My Mom just turned 79 and Thank God I am just 120 miles away from her, so I can get to her pretty much on a whim.
She's still pretty sharp, she still drives short distances, and she LOVES the President and we talk at length about politics.
I fear that one day I may face what you are currently dealing with but hang in there.
She's still around, and that's all that counts.

:hi: :hug: :hi:

[northoftheborder]

9. I lost my mother last year, and she was the only person in my sphere who....

.....shared my political views. We used to rant, laugh, and carry on for hours about the political circus; I really miss her. She was 95 and still sharp as a tack. Her body just finally wore out.

[applegrove]

10. I had two blind grandmothers. Try the public radio and get her health care

aides to keep the radio on. You could also get her 'books on tape' from the local library. They must have Obama's two books in their collection. Read the newspaper to her when you visit. Good Luck!

[pacalo]

11. Are there any of your brothers or sisters near her to look in on her?

I'd definitely have her evaluated to rule out Alzheimer's. Even if it's her medication causing the memory lapses, someone close to her & trustworthy should be checking her daily to see that she hasn't forgotten to turn off the stove, water, heating pad, or whatever. Or to check that she hasn't fallen due to confusion or disorientation.

My mother has reached the latter phase of her independence now. She's always been strong-minded, & the fact that she isn't able to take care of herself & refuses to leave her home has put my brothers, sister, & me in a quandary as to handle the situation.

It's rough getting old, especially when money for 'round-the-clock care is an issue.

[Odin2005]

12. I'm so sorry, H. Senility sucks! :-(

My grandmother was fortunate that she was fully lucid until the day she died last year at 87. She loved Obama, she said he reminded her of FDR.

[Honeycombe8]

13. Info is all over TV. So there's something else at play here. She might...

She might have had some small strokes. I've been told that wipes out memories in the elderly. It's fairly common. She's at an age where Alzheimer's is a possibility, but there would be other things going on...like her getting lost in her yard, or wild things like that.

I have been forgetful all my life (except with work things, oddly enough), so I will probably get very forgetful once I hit my 80's. It's sad and scary, but things deteriorate as we get older.

Politics is the least of her concerns, if she doesn't know who the President is, and she used to know things like that.

I'd call her more often, mention some current events, suggest she take Gingko Biloba and things like that (she probably won't). She lives alone? Does she have one of those things hanging around her neck where she can call for help if she gets lost or in trouble? I would definitely want her to have one of those. There's a monthly fee, though.

I wish you and your mom all the luck in the world. Maybe she's just lost interest in the world, when it got so complicated an unpleasant. And that's okay.