Diary of a teacher's journey: "I Don't Want to Be a Teacher Any More"

[madfloridian]

I read this post at Susan Ohanian's blog, and I thought that those could have been my words when I retired. In fact, they were almost my exact words when I walked out of that classroom after 33 years. I really did say to the others many times that last week..."I just don't want to do this anymore."

Some of the reasons are so similar to how I also lost heart for teaching.

From Susan Ohanian's blog:

I Don't Want to Be a Teacher Any More

This is from Daily Kos, Feb. 26, 2011

This teacher describes the important ways a good teacher improves: I went from being able to focus on only one or two things at a time, to being able to easily manage twenty or thirty on-going projects or ideas. Over the years I've improved my creativity, flexibility, problem solving skills, and sense of humor.

Yes, my friends, experience does count. It counts very much. Yet that is what both parties are setting out to destroy right now....getting rid of experienced teachers to save money on salaries.

From the diary at Daily Kos:

I put the link to the diary at Kos, but the proxy server won't go there. You can link to it from Ohanian's blog I posted. It is well worth the read. This proxy stuff makes it very hard to post intelligently.

www.dailykos.com/story/2011/02/26/950079/-I-Dont-Want-to-be-a-Teacher-Any-More

I’ve always been a teacher. Even before I received my teaching credentials 34 years ago, I was the one who Mr. Wells asked to help Kim Hull learn how to do his story problems. I always knew I’d become a real teacher some day because Kim told me I was the first one who ever explained it to him in a way he could actually understand.

I understand her point. I was always being asked to "tutor" others in class. Believe it or not, that says something about a person.

More:

Being a great teacher came naturally to me. Now that doesn’t mean it’s ever been an easy job. I’ve always found it exhausting, challenging, frustrating, and very rewarding—in other words, a perfect job for somebody who needs their brain to be challenged in ways they could never imagine. I went from being able to focus on only one or two things at a time, to being able to easily manage twenty or thirty on-going projects or ideas. Over the years I’ve improved my creativity, flexibility, problem solving skills, and sense of humor.

I’ve taught grades three through six, and felt very lucky that I never felt I was in a rut. I knew people who got burned out, but it honestly never happened to me. I knew I was very blessed to find the perfect occupation. I’ve changed how I do things in my classroom many times, incorporating new ideas, trying new things, always learning, always changing, and loving every minute of it. I’ve always been told in every way that I’m a great teacher, but I honestly didn’t need to be told, because I could feel it. That is, until recently.

The things mentioned by the diarist that are happening recently are happening all over the country right now. And they are happening quickly and with the blessing of the DOE and its Secretary. I have never seen anything like it.

I rarely had kids I couldn’t get to make progress. But as the classes got bigger, that began to change. More students with special needs were being mainstreamed into my classroom. I was getting kids in class who had been in America less than six months who spoke no English, with very little help or support. I crazily began to take all kinds of classes, do research on how to reach kids with autism, ADD, emotional disturbances, limited English proficiency—you name it, I studied the best ways to overcome disadvantages. I’ve always had a never-say-die attitude, so I worked my butt off to reach everyone in this increasingly diverse classroom with fewer and fewer resources. I also began to notice that lots of things that never had been my job before were suddenly added to my list of responsibilities. A silly example, but very time consuming, was janitorial work. Due to limited resources and constant budget cuts, I now had to devote my time to things like cleaning my own classroom, doing clerical work that used to be done for me by the front office, planning my curriculum instead of just my lessons, so many things I began to have trouble keeping up. One year I started a list I called “Jobs Other People Gave Me,” but after adding 57 things to my list in less than a single year, I decided that it wasn’t really healthy for me to continue the list. Now mind you, that through all of this I still actually loved closing my door and teaching.

Yes, by the time I retired we were doing nearly all of the cleaning in our classroom with supplies WE provided. One year each kid had to bring their own paper towels and toilet paper...yes, that is true.

She mentions the continued cuts to education. You know how you keep hearing that it doesn't help to throw money at education? Well, yes, it most certainly does help.

She continues with the ways in which they have manipulated test scores to get the results they need. (Yes, this does happen as well). It is subtly done, and the parents seldom notice what is happening. When the county suddenly raises the standards the parents naturally thinks their kid did not do as well, and they blame the teachers.

She mentions losing about a third of her retirement when they "reformed" the retirement system.

She mentions not getting a real raise in a very long time.

I have been talking lately with teachers I know who are nearing retirement. They are so discouraged. The last paragraph shows the feeling of many.

Anyway, whatever the reason, for the first time in 34 years it hit me, I don’t want to be a teacher any more. I want to sit on a rocking chair on my porch and drink tea instead. Maybe if they offer $20,000 for me to retire next year, I’ll take it. It’s so weird because never in my wildest imagination did I think I’d feel this way. I wonder if I’ll still feel this way when I close my classroom door tomorrow. I sure hope not because it makes me really sad.

Me, too.

[madfloridian]

1. If someone can get a good link to the DK diary, please post it.

I searched at DKos and found nothing. The date is Feb. 26. This proxy stuff makes it hard to link.

[1776Forever]

5. Is this what you wanted? Not sure but I tried.........

http://www.dailykos.com/diaries

[madfloridian]

9. Good idea, but I can't get the list to go back far enough. Still on proxy.

I tried to search on the diarist's name. But when I went back to find it at Ohanian's blog, it had gotten messed up with the proxy somehow. I will try fresh again today in another browser. Thanks for trying.

[roxiejules]

44. Link for DK story

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/02/26/950079/-I-Dont-Want-to-be-a-Teacher-Any-More

[madfloridian]

2. This part was familiar.

She says her kids were usually meeting standards or more anyway. So were mine. Then she points out when things changed....and it got crazy.

"Then the past few years a few of the buildings in our district didn't meet their AYP (adequate yearly progress.) The district began to look for ways to help these building to succeed. The focus on test scores escalated to a crazy level. The teachers in one of the elementary buildings in my district were told they could no longer teach anything besides reading, math, and science because those were the subjects that were tested. Our building wasn't ever told that specifically, but it was understood that we were to focus on practices that would improve our students' test-taking skills."

Yes, that is what IS going on now. Focusing on test-taking skills.

[AnneD]

3. The way to tell if it is time to retire....

Not even the summer break recharges your batteries.

I have to laugh....I started a list of other jobs given to the Nurse when I worked in the hospital. Now these departments still got the money we charged the patient, not the Nursing department (sorry sweetie, we can't afford to hire another Nurse because we don't have the budget to hire another Nurse). We did respiratory therapy treatments, blood draws, pharmacy compounding, IV care (treatment,teaching,infusion), physical therapy, dietary, psychiatry, clerical, auditing, janitorial,transporting, data entry, admissions, scheduling.........

It was always...this will only take a minute of your time, but before you knew it your shift was over and you had barely had time with your patient. It was unhealthy for you and your patients.

[madfloridian]

4. May I say that nurses rock?

I have so much admiration for them. It is a job I could not do, but I so respect them. Another unappreciated group. :)

[old mark]

6. K&R. My sister has been a teacher for decades, in several states...

I think she is feeling the same way now, and getting ready to pull the plug. She LOVED her job-teaching Kindergarten and first and second grade over the years-But it is all changed now.

mark

[ellenrr]

7. I've been teaching off-and-on for 30 years

not in the public schools, but to adults. Right now I teach GED math.
And I was thinking this morning of how teachers get no respect - whereever you teach, if you teach children or adults.
Case in point - I have 2 students who are uneducable, by which I do not mean they are slow learners, almost all my students are slow learners or very slow learners.
These two cannot learn. For whatever reason - maybe lead poisoning, other brain damage, who knows. I am not a diagnostician, but after 30 years one knows when a student cannot learn.
Nevertheless they remain in my classroom.
Why? Because the boss doens't know what else to do with them.
The fact of how it affects me, and my teaching, is of no importance.
I will be so glad when this program ends (June). At my age (63) I do not have the stomach for someone telling me what I must do.
Teachers are always low on the totem pole.

[Blue_Tires]

8. kick

[WinkyDink]

10. doing clerical work that used to be done for me by the front office, planning my curriculum instead

doing clerical work that used to be done for me by the front office, planning my curriculum instead of just my lessons,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ummm....what? I had to do all my own photo-copying (earlier, the ditto-machine), typing, or what have you; wrote the course curricula for each of my subjects (i.e., under the rubric of "English") to match the state's requirements; carted class textbooks back and forth to storage; and erased my own blackboards.

[madfloridian]

12. Depends on the school and its resources and attitude.

I never remember having clerical work done for me, and we always had to cart textbooks..ugh.

But near the end the custodian only swept about 3 days a week if we were lucky, and we had to do all the dusting and cleaning. We had sandy ground all around and the sweeping had to be done every day...so it was me or the kids. They loved it, I didn't.

As to copying machines, I took what I wanted done to the printers and paid for it myself. Bypassed the bureaucracy.

[MedicalAdmin]

27. I bought my own machine used.

The principal once came around to talk to me about wasting paper and making too many copies. I just pointed to my pile of paper and my copier and told him that I wasn't using school resources... Need I mention that I wasn't renewed.

Small men have small egos...

[chervilant]

50. Well,

some women have small egos, too. I found out (after the fact) that my principal routinely targeted one new teacher each school year and forced that teacher to retire in lieu of a no-rehire. I was her victim during the sole year that I had a contract to teach. The veteran teachers who became my friends told me she felt threatened by me.

[Dappleganger]

11. My mother was a teacher then became a nurse...

she left for other reasons but I can imagine that if she was teaching in today's environment she would have retired as quickly as many of my other FL teacher-friends are trying to do. One last year (taught for 30 years), two this year and more are making plans to exit ASAP. They truly love children but the state and Gov. Scott has made it clear that they are not valued.

[Mulhane]

13. School Custodians

I've been doing custodial at a school district for over 2 1/2 years. I am still just a "temp," meaning I get the same pay as the union, pay union dues, but no benefits. Neither do we get paid sick days or holidays or bonuses. We (about 20) are kept in this ever-more-untenable freeze because even though there are plenty of open positions due to retirements, injuries, etc., the administration just keeps rotating temps in their positions. The union tells me this is probably unfair labor practice, but most members are only focused on their own benefits and retirements, and don't want to "rock the boat." I'm about ready to form a "second tier" union and go on strike. Maybe that will get everyone's attention.

[madfloridian]

15. I hate to see them doing that to custodians.

Ours were the heart of the school in many ways. My class would buy them a present at Christmas under the leadership of the class parents. I don't think people have enough appreciation for who cleans up after kids who get sick in the classroom, or cleans up the restrooms and lunchroom.

It's called union busting, plain and simple. I heard that for a while, maybe still, our county was hiring substitute or temp teachers and letting them get their degrees. And not letting the parents know the teacher wasn't certified.

Our country does not treasure education.

[chervilant]

51. You're right,

the last school that interviewed me (AND wanted to hire me) was told by their HR department that I didn't have the certification required to teach high school math (I'd been assured throughout four separate interviews that my generalist 4-8 certification wouldn't be an obstacle). When HR blocked my contract, they wanted me to come on board as a long term sub--at FAR less than half the pay.

[Mulhane]

56. Custodians and student behavior

One reason I can do the work is relative lack of stress because we don't deal with students. But we are the ones who have to deal with their rage against the school...vandalism and deliberate trashing of school property.

[ellenrr]

19. Our school custodians just won a victory after fighting for wages and benefits

There is a huge global firm called Sodexo -
They buy up maintenance contracts from boards of education, then pay their workers next to nothing and no benefits and unsafe working conditions.
In my community an effort by one of the unions SEIU plus community support plus workers speaking up has finally ended in a victory!
We had rallies and we attended the Board of Ed meetings and now they have terminated the contract with Sodexo, and they will be offering out the contract to a new firm.
And we will be there to ensure it is a fair contract.
Actually what should happen is that the workers become city employees as they used to be. Then at least they had benefits, and cost o living raises and some job security.

[madfloridian]

28. There was a similar problem in our county with maintenance contracts...

They were trying to resolve it when I retired. The company they were using then was not worker friendly at all.

[MedicalAdmin]

29. Hell ya - when I was a union rep I would have supported you.

And I would have explained to the other workers what was at stake. And then we could both be fired.

If you are going to do this, make sure you have the support of an active union first and take organizing training. And then CYA (cover your ass).

[madfloridian]

14. Correct that to...

"the parents naturally think" with no s on the think. I should not post anything late at night or while on proxy. I know noun verb agreement better than that.

[MedicalAdmin]

16. I reached that point in less than 10 years.

I constantly tell younger kids and adults thinking about becoming a teacher NOT to do it. It used to be a decent job. Now its pure shit and the toilet is flushing.

Want more time off, better pay and benefits, and less blame? Haul garbage.

[madfloridian]

17. I would not advise anyone to enter teaching right now.

Maybe grown up Democrats and Republicans will get their common sense back someday. Until then....

[ellenrr]

21. how 'bout just Americans getting their sense back some day?

altho I don't see that happening any time soon, certainly not in my lifetime.

[MedicalAdmin]

30. My wife and I are seriously looking at leaving the USA.

It's sad but the health and welfare of our family comes first and it is NOT valued here.

[vim876]

33. Lucky...

My partner doesn't want to move. He thinks this country is fixable. I'm skeptical, to say the least. Stay or go, when I have kids, I will find a way to do it in Canada so that they can grow up to have opportunities Americans don't.

[MedicalAdmin]

36. Your partner may be right....

But I wouldn't bet my families future on a guess. Canada is one of the locations we are currently looking at.

Others include South Africa and New Zealand. We are open to any place that values our skills and has decent social policies and political stability. Good luck to you. I find myself hoping your partner is right.

[vim876]

46. I'd be concerned about the violent crime rate in South Africa...nt

[MedicalAdmin]

54. So are we, but the opportunity of opening up a new...

medical school (first of it's kind in Africa) there under a UN grant might be too good to pass up. If we do, I guess we'll just become another foreigner who lives in a gated community.

[Mulhane]

55. You know what...

I could only get into Mexico and points south, and I really don't care any more about the crime. I could get killed here just as easy. I can already see that Boomers who have lost all but SS are going to be invisible and ignored to death here, as many as they are. If, as it looks, I can either work until my body fails or get by on early SS in Mexico (no pension for temps), I choose Mexico and a few years of living among people who are poor like me but who still care about neighbors.

[JCMach1]

18. 22 years teaching experience here, but I walked away from public schools in 2003

because what is happening all over America was happening in FL under JEBtm at time. I went back to the University level in a foreign country where teaching is valued and I make something like 10x the money.

We have the mythology that teachers are valued in America, but it's an illusion only becoming more clear by the day.

The biggest problem I see is POLITICIANS trying to reform stuff they know nothing about. And yes, that includes Obama.

What the Blog author didn't mention was the biting stress. Every one of those added jobs and every child at your desk eats a piece of your life. If it was just the kids, all teachers are ready to make sacrifices. We do it every day. During soccer season. I would wake-up at 5:30 AM to go to work and do the full-day grind and then came the sports. The stipend worked out to about 1/4 of minimum wage for the time. IF there was an away game, I would regularly not be able to leave the school until around midnight. After the commute home, I would fall into bed at 1-1:30 and get up and do it all again. I did it because it was a great group of young men. I did it to be there for them and we were able in my second season to have the first winning record in soccer that our school had ever had!

I walked away because I couldn't take the hall duty, the monitoring, and the endless rules, regulations and YES the horrific standardized testing.

I walked away because either my health, or my sanity was going to break permanently. I loved that job actually. However, without putting me in-charge of the whole state there was no way the situation was going to change.

So, I walked!

[ellenrr]

20. "eats a piece of your life" is right

I was just trying to explain to someone how drained and exhausted I feel after only 4 hours of teaching. And my job is not a tenth as hard as a public school teacher.
But I want to help my students so much, and the structure makes it impossible. It's not the students' fault, nor mine. It is the way things are set up.
And I tell myself, 'try to care less' but I can't.

So you're caught in a no-win situation.
And I think that is where the exhaustion comes in
You are so right how you expressed it -

[JCMach1]

49. My health is better now, but have no doubt damage was done

since getting here I have had skin cancer and trouble with my kidneys.

[madfloridian]

24. I learned my lesson quickly about Jeb.

I criticized him at school to other teachers....I was called in and told by the principal not to do that at school. That's how it was here even then.

[Plucketeer]

26. Walking away.

JCMach1 writes: "We have the mythology that teachers are valued in America, but it's an illusion only becoming more clear by the day.

The biggest problem I see is POLITICIANS trying to reform stuff they know nothing about. And yes, that includes Obama."

Both those are the UNVARNISHED TRUTH! My wife's a teacher of 34 years now. It's SO HOLLOW, the phony praise as to the worth of our teachers. WORTH??? - while taking pay cuts??? Arne Dunce'n has WHAT SORT OF TEACHING EXPERIENCE???

JCM continues..."What the Blog author didn't mention was the biting stress. Every one of those added jobs and every child at your desk eats a piece of your life. If it was just the kids, all teachers are ready to make sacrifices. We do it every day.

I walked away because I couldn't take the hall duty, the monitoring, and the endless rules, regulations and YES the horrific standardized testing.

I walked away because either my health, or my sanity was going to break permanently. I loved that job actually. However, without putting me in-charge of the whole state there was no way the situation was going to change."

I've begged my wife to quit - even tho it would mean great hardship for us. My argument is that I want something left of her to love in our elder years. This thankless job is taking it's toll both mentally and physically. I'm amazed she hasn't had a meltdown already.

[JCMach1]

47. I think she doesn't becaue she loves the job... that's the kick in the groin for everyone

We love to teach!

At least I found a job where I was teaching and making a difference... i.e. helping spread democracy, literacy, and ideas here in the Middle-East. It's the conditions that passed me by, not the job itself.

[MedicalAdmin]

31. Where did you go and what do you do now?

I'd love to know. I'm considering ditching this dump before someone flushes. But I still loved teaching. So if I could move somewhere and do it again....

[madfloridian]

32. Check out the links in his signature. Very interesting.

[MedicalAdmin]

37. I just did and sent him a FB friend request.

I'm thinking it will trigger a patriot act investigation, but why should today be any different than any other day. I might have to brush up on my arabic - not sure if my wife will dig the place tho'...

[JCMach1]

48. I know Abu Dhabi was looking for K-12 Teachers... there are always positions here

I was fortunate enough that I was also able to put my higher degrees to work. I am a prof. for the premier university here as well as an administrator.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

22. This breaks my heart...........

I wanted to be a teacher, and have had people tell me that I would be great at it. But after seeing the way that teachers are treated in this country, I chose to pursue nursing when I returned to college last year at 42.

Teachers deserve more respect, support and money than they get now. There are folks out there who need a good education, but are being increasingly taught by teachers run ragged by lack of support. My heart goes out to teachers and I'll always have your back.

[madfloridian]

41. Mine as well.

Our country does not value its teachers, and it does not treat them well.

[Divine Discontent]

23. my friend who is an English writing professor doesn't want to be a teacher anymore...

she said she'd rather go into law if they're going to continue to rail against her rights in OH.
Glad to see we're back up to normal around here... sure was a weird couple of days on these internet tubes. :hi:

[madfloridian]

40. Agreed about the weird two days.

:hi:

[Starry Messenger]

25. k&r

[Jakes Progress]

34. This kind of thing makes arne so happy.

That teachers have to face this and arne only hat to worry that he doesn't lose his jump shot is one reason that I don't think I can bring myself to put in the hundreds of hours I did in 2004. I guess that is okay, because Obama and his most specialist friends here have told me over and over that my support isn't needed or wanted. Obama plans on winning next time without teacher help.

[madfloridian]

35. The choice of Arne has angered me more than anything Obama has done.

It was such a blatant in your face to teachers of public schools.

[Jakes Progress]

38. Trying to say that he supports the rights of workers

and unions while letting his point guard go after teachers is pure hypocrisy. Sure politicians can shave a nuance in both directions, but his support for the Wisconsin public workers comes off as a pure lie in the face of his actions with arne.

[chervilant]

52. Yeah,

good luck with THAT, Mr. Obama.

[Iris]

39. k&R

[DirkGently]

42. I know a long-time teacher was similarly discouraged. Quit even substituting, despite heavy demand.

[madfloridian]

43. I once thought I would sub when I retired...make extra money.

But I decided the money was not worth the pain.

[Divine Discontent]

45. kick

[moonbatmax]

53. Tip o' the Iceberg, friends

I've been wondering for at least the better part of a year, now,
how soon we might start to see a real shortage of teachers.

I can't help but wonder, who in their right mind would seriously
want to be a teacher in this current client of condemnation?

I'm not in the profession, so I don't much know
what drives a teacher to carry on, or give it up,

but when I read or hear of one saying
she just doesn't want to do it anymore,
I know.

There is a breaking point.

Those who complain about tenure and unions
are quick to reassure us that they just
want to get rid of the "bad" teachers.

Yet, they say so little about the "good" ones,
I wonder if they even think there are any?

Maybe they don't.
And maybe, if we let them keep at it much longer,
they'll be right.

[callous taoboy]

57. She has written the paper I could have written, though

not nearly as well as she did. I've been at it for 17 years and I am getting crispy. So many of the things she mentions are happening where I teach. Now with a horrible state budget deficit we are likely to see our class sizes begin to go up.

[erinlough]

58. my exact feelings after 36 years.

I can't do it anymore, and I won't sub or tutor after I retire. I'd rather be a Wal Mart greeter. I never want to think about or talk about education again. I am totally done. By the way, this is the first year I have felt like this. The previous 35 years were blissful and I am thankful I had them.