American Exceptionalism – An Excess of Self-Esteem Or Just the Opposite

[natrlron]

As much as I respect and admire David Brooks, he got it wrong this time. In his March 10 op-ed piece, “The Modesty Manifesto,” he notes how we have turned into a culture of self-aggrandizement. How we have become a society of individuals who think they are special and that they are entitled to things, rather than having to earn it.

While I would agree with Brooks’ observation, he is mistaken when he equates this common bravado for an increase in Americans’ self-esteem. On the contrary, it is yet further evidence of how insecure and hollow Americans’ lives have become.

It is a well-known psychological fact that having a huge ego is typically a façade, a coping mechanism for deep feelings of insecurity and anxiety. And the size of the ego and extent of aggression is directly related to the amount of insecurity.

Brooks sites several writers who point out that the generation of people now in their 20s grew up bathed in praise and messages that they are special. While it may well be that such action on the part of parents was meant to increase self-esteem, in fact it increases insecurity. When a child is told he is special, but knows deep down that he is not and that the praise is not grounded on anything specific, he feels he is being told that he is expected to be special and thus feels under pressure to indeed be special, creating huge insecurities.

If we were to search for a poster child for this American feeling of exceptionalism, we would have to look no further than George W. Bush. While I have no idea how he was raised, he certainly would have had the burden of feeling that he was supposed to be special because of his family’s history.

Instead, he knew he was a nothing and failed at one thing after another. But he did find the gift of gab; of giving the impression that he was very sure of himself. As President, he certainly displayed great bravado and certainty … he was “the Decider” … but it was such a pathetic façade. One just had to look into his eyes, and watch his facial expressions to know that here was a man who felt totally insecure and out of his element.

Brooks is correct when he wonders whether this phenomenon is connected to the “social and political problems we have observed over the past few years.” But the cause is our increased insecurity, not an increase in our self-esteem.

For more on this and other issues, see my blog, http://PreservingAmericanGreatness.blogspot.com

[JoePhilly]

1. You only need to scream "we're #1" when your actions don't speak for themselves.

In most fields of endeavor, the distinction of being "#1" is not a distinction one bestows on themselves, but a distinction which is self apparent.

So when the right wing jumps up and down demanding to be acknowledged as "#1", they are telling you that such a distinction is no longer self apparent.

The demand to be called #1 is an indication of a people who know that they are not #1.

[natrlron]

8. Right

and whether it's bullies or mean girls or Rush Limbaugh, these people are insecure ... and the message is that we as a society must find a way of addressing this mass insescurity so that this dysfunction and nastiness is reduced.

[RandomThoughts]

2. Insecurity in life, leads to learing of confidence, when making it through those situations.

And I am still due beer and travel money.


But I do agree, many where a mask, and that mask keeps them from learning there true potential by faking it.

[natrlron]

11. Our country

is full of people who are insecure, most of it stemming from our culture. We need a major shift and effort if we are ever to change this sad state of affairs that impacts negatively on so many people.

[WHEN CRABS ROAR]

3. What does it matter anyway? So what!

[natrlron]

6. The reason

why it matters is that once you understand what underlies so many of the problems of dysfunction that we see in our country and around the world, then one can at least try to begin to address it. How to address it is the point of the blog piece I wrote on this issue:

http://PreservingAmericanGreatness.blogspot.com

[al_liberal]

4. David Brooks is a first class turd

And his opinion on exceptionalism driving the entitlement mentality, just like every right wing thought, is projectionism. It's the billionaires in this country that have the entitlement mentality. That they should be entitled to use the shared benefits of the US to further their goals is the only entitlement mentality that our government is servicing at this point.

[natrlron]

7. You misunderstand

what I said ... when he said people felt they were entitled to things ... he didn't mean "entitlements" in the budget sense. What he meant was the attitude of kids going into jobs and thinking that they are entitled to all sorts of things rather than having to earn respect, etc. David Brooks is definitely not a turd, even though he is a Republican. He's the good type of Republican.

[leftstreet]

5. We have a right to shelter, food, water, healthcare, employment & security

I don't know what the fuck he's rambling on about

[MedleyMisty]

9. Capitalism is the source of insecurity

A culture based on the idea that your worth is not intrinsic, but extrinsic. That your worth is based on how much money you make, how much stupid shit you own, where you went to school, what company you work for, how up to date your clothes or hairstyle are.

Plus, in a culture based on dominance and competition and climbing up the status ladder over the bodies of other people - you're going to get a lot more abuse.

I've had three occasions to observe "normal" Americans the last two days. I wasn't socialized into mainstream American culture, thank goodness.

I went to a man's home and his dogs barked at me and jumped on me. Totally normal and expected behavior. He yelled at them and threatened to beat them. If I had not been there in a professional capacity, I would have let him know what I thought of that.

At another stop, a young boy was out with his dogs in his yard. Again - yelling at them, threatening them. For normal dog behavior.

Saw parents with a little kid today. Little kid doing normal little kid things. Parents yelling and threatening.

Stop thinking that a living being's value is measured in dollars, in what they do for dollars, in how much dollars they spend on stupid crap, how much dollars their parents had to get them into the schools that cost the most dollars. Stop competing. Stop dominating. Stop trying to make the world and all the beings in it fit into your false boxes and false ideals - and that includes yourself.

A culture based on dominance, in which humans are thought of as numbers, as things, results in insecurity, abuse, and death.

I used to get accused of having a huge ego and being elitist when I talked about being profoundly gifted.

I thought about it some, and I came up with the theory that most normally socialized Americans must have this unconscious equation in their heads:

Intelligence = Education = Money = Worth

I think, for the purposes of this thread, we can shorten that.

Money = Worth

Change that unconscious equation, and you change the world.

[natrlron]

10. Well said!

Our culture definitely has a very negative impact on self-esteem because of how it measures worth. I love your last line ... very powerful.