Parent angry after teacher pins note to her son - the horrors!!

[proud2BlibKansan]

Didn't see this posted here. Sorry for the repeat if it has been shared. But it just blew me away. The parent doesn't respond to phone calls or other notes so the teacher stapled a note to the kid and the parent CALLS THE MEDIA!?

Here's a clue - elementary teachers pin notes to kids every day in every elementary school in the country. Deal with it. Oh and when my own children were young, I pinned notes to them to be sure their teacher got them. So turn me in for public humiliation!! I'll tell my kids they were damaged. :eyes:

MIAMI (CBS4) – A Miami-Dade woman said her son’s teacher made a big mistake ridiculing her son, but the district said there was an explanation for what happened to the student at W.J. Bryan Elementary School.

“This is totally wrong. This is inappropriate. This is ethically wrong,” Rose Innocent said about what happened to her second-grade son at school. She claims that his teacher humiliated her son by stapling a disciplinary note to his shirt for talking in class.

“He was upset, he said the kids had been laughing at him,” Innocent said. “He was embarrassed and humiliated.”

“Everyone was starting to laugh at me,” the child said. “That’s when I got the feeling; I was angry and mad.”

<skip>

Miami-Dade Schools released a statement saying: To make sure that the note reached home, the teacher fastened the note to the child’s shirt, then placed the child’s sweatshirt over it, so that the note would not cause any undue attention.

http://miami.cbslocal.com/2011/03/07/disciplinary-note-stapled-to-childs-shirt/

[xchrom]

1. when i was in kindergarten and 1st grade -- they were always pinning notes to us.

especially if it was something that had to signed by the 'rents.

[jwirr]

47. Open so all the other kids could read them?

[noamnety]

52. This wasn't open so other kids could read it.

It was attached to an inner shirt and covered by a sweatshirt.

[seabeyond]

53. that didnt happen, but even then, ... kid did it in class. other kids already knows what happened

and that he is in trouble. no secret here

how foolish is that to believe that all kids in class knowing this kid is in trouble can or should or would be hidden in some way.

[jwirr]

57. How about teaching kids not to laugh at other kids? I am sorry. My

kids went to a christian school so I guess I had different values. If that kind of bullying was allowed in our school everyone would have been in trouble. No one is innocent in this story. The child for talking, the others for teasing (bullying), the parent for going public instead of handling it privately and the teacher for not having her class in control.

I would expect better. This is not about where the note was - it is about using peer humiliation as a means of disciple.

[seabeyond]

59. my kids went to christian private also, and had more trouble with kids than public, firstly

secondly.... you are believing a mother that wont even take responsibility in calling teacher back when kid misbehaves? a parent that blames the other kids and their behavior before addressing her own sons problems?

then there is a bet of reality. and the way a parent handles situation to ensure a positive.

further... the kid is already out front for the mere fact he put himself out there.

[jwirr]

60. So the other kids did not laugh? And you will notice I think that there

is a problem with all the participants in this story. Mom is not innocent. MY problem is using humiliation as discipline. How does that further a child self-esteem.

[seabeyond]

61. a teacher tells kid write i will not talk.. 100x's. humiliated child in class. tells kid, quit

talking in class... kids humiliated.

anything would be held up to humiliating kid in class, if poor behavior is adressed

kid tells mom, everyone laughing... made me mad. maybe NO kid was laughing. maybe the kid embarrassed being called out and in his mind makes everyone laughing. maybe a kid snickers and teacher said hush.

do you really think that teacher was allowing a whole class to laugh and point finger at kid and ridicule causing complete chaos

or do you think the kid is covering his ass, shifting the blame like ALL kids do.

did the mom talk to the teacher, allow her to tell her what really happened in class. or just automatically believe and defend her child. what parent does that.

kid tells me class laughed cause he got in trouble.... so behave. problem solved.

if i thought there was a problem with kids behavior or ability to socialize with other students, then i would discuss with teacher and work on resolving.

[seabeyond]

63. self esteem? failure does not EVER further child self esteem. furthering child self esteem

from failure could be him being brave enough to go to teacher next day and apologizing for his behavior.... then receives pats on back for being brave and responsible. self esteem comes fro accomplishments and recognition of those accomplishments. accomplishments far outwieghing the few failures. and recognition of that.

self esteem is not going to come out of this misbehavior alone.

[jwirr]

64. I did not say he should not be punished. There are a lot of ways to

discipline a child without humiliation but since all of you disagree have at it. My grand and great children are fine in their public schools so I won't worry about yours.

[seabeyond]

68. jwirr

there is no need to worry, so why put out that need. you are awfully willing to believe the worst in this situation from a child that wants to be the victim and not take ownership of his behavior, yet hearing nothing about the reality from the teacher. teachers are always the ones, that have to stay quiet, without givng balance to the story, even when a story makes no sense.

a parent unwilling to address the behavioral problems of child, unwilling to get in contact with a teacher at her urging.... the teacher becomes the bad guy

amazing

[Biker13]

82. Good God!

The world needs more Moms like you.

If I had daughters, I'd want them to marry one of your sons!

Personal responsibility is no longer taught to our children, and we will pay for it in the future.

The world is not going to pad it's corners for these kids, and they should learn that now.

Biker's Old Lady

[seabeyond]

87. world is not going to pad it's corners for these kids,

this is what i say....

and

thank you. thought with the good god.... i might be in trouble. lol

[blueamy66]

71. I went to Catholic school, as did my mother

I recall dry shaving, haircuts for football players whose hair touched their color, detention for not wearing white or yellow or brown socks....talk about peer humiliation....

I don't know exactly how I feel about this story....but geez.....kids these days are going to be raised to be wimps.

If I got in trouble at school, you can be damn sure I'd be in bigger trouble at home....I blame lawyers, the media and parents who think that their little babies are just sooo perfect.

[roguevalley]

75. first of all, you are making assumptions. secondly, this is a good

tactic for the dipshit parents who only care about knowing about their kid when they can scream and yell about anyone trying to do anything about it. I taught 27 years and used notes, pinned and otherwise the whole time even with fifth and sixth graders. That parent is an a-hole. she doesn't want to deal with her kid's behavior so she's blowing off at the system that is trying to help him. Totally used to that. that is why she's mad. Idiot.

[Iggo]

83. I went to catholic school and public school.

Kids have the same values at either.

[proud2BlibKansan]

90. First of all, we don't know what this child did. Perhaps HE was the one teasing his classmates.

The story doesn't give details as to how he misbehaved. I saw another version that said he had incomplete work, and that's what the note was about.

We also have no idea if the kids teased him, since we have only the mother's word for that, and frankly, she sounds like an idiot.

And if the teacher wanted to humiliate him, she wouldn't have covered the note with his sweatshirt.

I don't think this was about humiliation - it is about making sure Mom saw that note. Mom is the one doing the humiliating by broadcasting his story on the local news.

And as many in this thread have said, if he had stayed out of trouble and finished his work, there would have been no bad note. If we need to point a finger of blame here, I will point it at the kid. Then another one at his mother.

[blueamy66]

106. Yeah, cause Christian schools

are so cool...NOT

[Liberal_in_LA]

74. I vaguely remember the practice. Did consider it abusive

[roguevalley]

76. this parent was ignoring the school which means she was aware

that he's disruptive and didn't want to deal. She wants not to be informed so she attacked the teacher. that parent needs an ass slapping. She's ignoring her kid's behavior. I've seen this zillions of times teaching. the parent is the wrong person here, not the teacher. and this isn't abusive. its a legitimate tactic for a teacher to use.

[Liberal_in_LA]

88. agreed. The mother's anger is directed in the wrong direction

[proud2BlibKansan]

92. The alternative is not communicating with this parent until the report card goes home

Then she'd probably call a lawyer because her kid got Fs.

I have had parents like this for years. There is at least one almost every year. And I tell them we can fix this now or you can wait until a report card full of Fs comes home with a retention notice. Your choice.

And I tell these kids - don't worry, I'll be covering this same material next year, I can even make sure you get your same desk back.

[Egnever]

103. Or you could call them

Pretending the only alternative is pinning note to the child is BS

[roguevalley]

125. you ASSUME that this is the only thing they did. I can tell you

that all options were most likely taken care of. You should sit through conferences, if the fragging parents even come and listen to them bitch about NOT BEING TOLD STUFF. I have a friend who sends home ten grade sheets A WEEK and still people bitch. I NEVER SAW THEM! Walk a mile in that teacher's shoes before you bs anyone.

[Egnever]

102. Where do you get the prent was ignoring the school?

The teacher felt that but that doesn't make it so,regardless there is a wonderful invention called a telephone that works great for such situations. My wife is a teacher and she calls parents all the time. Humiliating the child is not the answer.

[Egnever]

130. And look how fucked up our society is now

You think humiliating kids in school might send a message that it's perfectly acceptable to be cruel to others ? Not trying to say note pinning is the root of all evil but the idea that it happened to you so it's ok is just ridiculous.

[The Philosopher]

2. Every parent knows this

It's no secret that you pin a note on your child to have a quick back-and-forth with the teacher, until the kid is taught the responsibility of bringing home notes unmolested. For a parent to get upset about it, the parent either has to be a neglecting one or the parent has a dislike for that teacher and is using it as an excuse to attack the teacher. Or the parent is an idiot.

[HereSince1628]

21. I never saw this done when I was a student or for my kids.

:shrug:

It's becoming obvious I was raised in a parallel universe and somehow my consciousness has shifted late in life.

[The Philosopher]

23. Yeah

You probably didn't notice and didn't have to do it for your kids. I don't recall note pinning when I was a kid. But when you're faced with a kid who can't be trusted to pass along a note in an emergency, the safety pin comes to mind.

[proud2BlibKansan]

25. And important notes too like field trip notes

I helped a teacher pin field trip notes to 5 year olds just the other day. You hate to see a kid not get to go on a field trip because the note didn't get home.

[seabeyond]

29. this is the kinda thing my teachers used for. it was always a good thing, in my mind. nt

[calimary]

35. Heck, teachers used to masking-tape notes to our kids' shirts in preschool.

No other way to get the note home to the parents.

[proud2BlibKansan]

24. Like I said in the OP, it happens every day

I've never worked with a kindergarten teacher who didn't pin notes to kids - and usually to their back so the note stays intact.

When my sons were in kdg, my mother, who was retired and had lots of time to shop, watched for sales on safety pins and donated them to their teachers.

[Gormy Cuss]

50. I've never seen it done either.

Perhaps it's a regional thing but our teachers sent notes home by mail if we were too young to be trusted to take them home (or sent notes home with older siblings, now that I think about it. )

[proud2BlibKansan]

94. I use siblings when I can. But lots of kids don't have them in the same school.

[TorchTheWitch]

142. feeling that way myself - never heard of this note pinning thing

I don't think it's appropriate for teachers or parents to use their young children as responsible mail deliverers. Young children aren't normally going to be responsible enough and it isn't their place to be the go-between between the teacher and the parent. I think pinning a note to a kid by either a teacher or a parent is ridiculous and targets the child for embarrassment/humiliation.

Use the mail or the phone, and if that doesn't work then tough shit. If a parent is so disinterested in communicating with the school that they won't answer communications the child shouldn't be made to bare the brunt of this as if it is the child's fault that the communication was a failure. As a kid we never got messages of any kind given to us to give to our parents about anything because the school was wise enough to know that we weren't responsible enough to make sure our parents got the message nor should it be made our problem in how responses were handled by either the parent or the teacher. Permission slips or other important messages that needed a parent's response were sent through the mail. Anything requiring immediate attention was handled with phone calls. Our parents were wise enough to know we weren't responsible enough either and notes were sent through the mail to the school or phone calls made to deal with any communication.

Communication between teachers and parents is THEIR responsibility, and the children shouldn't be used as the conduit between that communication as it isn't the child's responsibility nor are they old enough to handle that responsibility.

Pinning notes on the kids is irresponsible, lazy, shifts blame for communication failure onto the child and is just plain fucked up.

[jwirr]

49. Were the notes you are talking about open so the other kids could

read them?

[proud2BlibKansan]

95. Mine aren't

I always fold them or put them in an envelope. And when I have time I write the kid's name on the outside of the note or envelope in case the note gets lost.

[gkhouston]

146. Um, no. When I was a kid, notes were sent in lunch boxes, IIRC. My kid's had

a "communication" folder of some type since she was in preschool. When she was in preschool, it hung in a file folder rack and we checked it every day when picking her up. Once she started kindergarten, the folder when back and forth in her backpack.

If I want a quick back-and-forth with the teacher, I'll send email.

[XanaDUer]

3. I went to grade school in the 70s

teachers did this a lot. What's the big deal? Little kids don't always deliver notes to parents - this is a way around that.

[hobbit709]

4. Maybe she should have sent it registered mail

I can imagine the squawking by the parents over that.

[XanaDUer]

6. Yes, imagine the embarrassment the parents would face in front

of the mail carrier!?

[WatsonT]

10. Permanent marker + forehead = assured delivery

[proud2BlibKansan]

20. That was horrrible

I'm hoping that teacher was fired. I never did hear what happened to her. But she deserves the wrath directed at her.

[Ilsa]

5. ITA, proud2B. The teacher covered it up with the shirt. The other

Kids already knew about the child getting into trouble. The child needs to understand that there are consequences to misbehavior. And yes, sometimes you can't trust kids to take those notes home. Alternatively, an email or phone call could be placed, but that is usually reserved for worse behavior, such as when the child needs to be in In-School-Suspension.

I bet this child will pick up on the mother's overreaction and will consider himself blameless for his behavior. I fear his problems in school aren't over.

I give the media a D- for this story.

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. His misbehavior should have caused him humiliation

I also completely understand the frustration of not being able to contact parents. We now use our cell phones to call a lot of parents because they don't answer when they see the school on their caller ID.

[pintobean]

7. Isn't pinning a note to a kid public humiliation?

I see calling the media as retaliation.

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. Yes. the pinned note is humiliating but being on the local news because you were bad at school

is not the least bit humiliating.

Not to mention, having a dipshit for a mother. LOL

[pintobean]

40. Pinning a note to a kid was a great idea

before the telephone, email, texting, etc.
Maybe it was just a lesson in 19th century technology.

[proud2BlibKansan]

81. Most of my parents don't have email

Many of the ones with "problem" kids don't answer the phone when we call. Or they don't reply to voice mail messages. I haven't tried texting - that's not a bad idea.

One year I had a kid with two addresses and 6 (non working) phone numbers. Parents don't make it easy to communicate with them when they are in denial about their child.

[blueamy66]

108. +1000

NT gonna make some cash on this

[zeemike]

15. So is correcting him for bad actions or words.

We are talking kids here and kids learn from experiences.

[seabeyond]

16. note doesnt have to be a problem. i remember it was always something good.... or school event

or something, when i was little. but, this case, is a declaration of parental failure, not childs. the parent being negligent in attention and their failure for not doing their job

[jwirr]

51. I think everyone here is missing the point. The note was plainly used

to humiliate the child. I have no problem with sending notes in this manner to parents. What I have the problem with is that humiliation is not a means of discipline that I would use one a child that age. Those other children would have gotten in trouble for laughing if they were my students.

[jwirr]

55. After reading these posts I am confused. When I was in college it

was all about self-esteem - what is it we are teaching our kids today? Humiliation?

[seabeyond]

56. those kids were in the class when kid misbehaved. the humiliation for the child comes

from his own behavior. i wonder what world you are living in, lol, that you believe the kids dont already know he is in trouble and the note accomplished the humiliation. like the parent thinking.

the other day, i was emailing my sons 7th grade english teacher about an assignment he missed. back and forth. later that day i asked if he knew i had a discussion with teacher. he said yes... there were a couple kids at the desk when my emails came thru. they had already told him i was talking to teacher.

a bunch of.... oh no, you are in trouble.

good

was a good thing to know teacher and i were discussing him for failing to turn in assignment. and good the kids told him, so he could think of it thru out his day.

his academics are priority in this house. whatever gets in his head to KNOW to get his ass in gear to be successful works for me.

and the note under sweatshirt. not open for all to read.

[seabeyond]

58. when a parent walks into a school, that is "humiliation" for the student that misbehaves

thru out the school the kids all go at.... you are in trouble.

how do you save any child from humiliation of any sort, when they misbehave. the only way i can see this accomplished is to positively feed and reinforce misbehavior. how stupid is that.

[petronius]

65. I'm not getting that from the article at all. The mother claims that, but the school

says the note was covered by a sweatshirt. The behavior and the in-class discipline was public, and the other kids must have known that a parent-contact was in the future. And, note-pinning is a common (although apparently not universal) practice - they certainly did it back when I was in school.

So no, I don't think the 'humiliation as discipline' aspect is plain at all, and the 'pissed-off unreasonable parent playing victim' angle is at least as likely...

[proud2BlibKansan]

84. She put his sweatshirt on over it so the other kids didn't see it

The only way this child was humiliated was by his own mother who broadcast his behavioral problems on the local news.

I also fail to see how pinning field trip notes and other 'positive' notes to children is humiliating. Not going on the field trip because your mom didn't even get the note to sign is lots more humiliating.

[PeaceNikki]

91. Then why pin it at all? Why not put it in the kid's pocket? How is that different?

[seabeyond]

93. parent cant see in the pocket. kid young enough, cant take pin off. note stays on shirt

ANY parent can see the note.

[proud2BlibKansan]

96. If it's a note the kid doesn't want his mother to see, he will lose it.

He can't take it off his back.

Trust me, if that note can get lost on the way home, it will get lost - or tossed.

[PeaceNikki]

98. He can't take it off his back? Um.... kids can remove their own clothing.

Last I checked.

[proud2BlibKansan]

113. Usually they don't pull them off their back

Here is what the note looked like when it got home. Tell me this kid wasn't trying to keep his mom from seeing it:

[PeaceNikki]

115. Even if the kid was trying to keep it from mom, teacher could have called... or sent it in the mail.

Stapling it seems ridiculous.

[proud2BlibKansan]

123. Mail takes days

Same misbehavior until parents talk to the kid. I would mail a report to them if he was failing. Or I would mail a report card. But a note that goes home every day and the parents have asked for? It should be mailed every day?

[WatsonT]

37. Under his sweatshirt

We need to realize that a kid feeling a little bad about his own actions for a short period of time is far from the worst thing in the world.

Really the parent should be pissed off that her child was depriving all the other kids of a chance to learn by his actions and her failures as a parent.

She ought to (but never will) be embarrassed about the fact that she has publicly acknowledged she is failing as a parent.

[WatsonT]

8. You know what's more humiliating in the long term?

Having the entire world know that he is a spoiled brat with a terrible mother.

Maybe you shouldn't have made this into national news Mrs. Innocent (Rose Innocent? Really? Sounds like a stripper name).

If a teacher had done this to me my parents would have been furious . . . at me for wasting her time and causing a disruption.

Rather than demanding and apology from the teacher I'd have been sent in to apologize to her.

Don't worry though Rose, once he graduates and gets out in to the real world he won't be plagued by uncaring teachers. All the people he meets after highschool will recognize what a precious little snow flake he is and will treat him with the utmost deference no matter how he acts.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. True story ~

I had a kid years ago in my 1st grade class. Cute little boy but many anger issues. Fought constantly. The mother was in denial. It was always the other kid's fault. Never once in that entire LONG year did that mother EVER make her kid take responsibility for his behavior or take him to a counselor to deal with his anger.

Fast forward 10 years. Top story on my local news - 17 year old shoots and kills kid in a park. I look up at my screen and there sits that same mother, telling the TV cameras that this kid (who is now DEAD) was teasing her son. So it's the murder victim's fault that her son murdered him.

Still breaks my heart today. He was a very sweet little boy. And he was screaming for help. But his idiot mother refused to help him.

[WatsonT]

22. Tragic

They think they are helping their kid but in the end they end up ruining his life (and even worse: someone elses life, and his mothers).

[seabeyond]

26. i have two nephews. SO much potential. and the same thing with both parents

in the meantime, here they sit as teenagers failing hugely and parents still excusing behavior away, talking about their potential, and what went wrong.

it is an amazingly sad story to see.

i would get into such fights with brother trying to get him to let the kids own their mistakes

[Posteritatis]

28. Attacking someone based on their parents' choice of name. Classy. (nt)

[WatsonT]

30. Huh?

I think you misread.

Although if she did choose to rename herself that legally then that does kind of support my initial belief that she is an idiot.

[Gormy Cuss]

62. Huh? Posteritatis misread?

Upthread you suggested the mother had a stripper name and now you're suggesting that if she chose the name it supports your belief that she's an idiot because of her name. Why does her name matter to this discussion?

BTW, Innocent is both an English and Haitian surname.

[WatsonT]

78. He said I was 'attacking' her for it

pointing out that someone has a stripper name is an observation, not an attack.

And there is a big difference between being given a silly name and choosing one for yourself.

And I don't think it really matters, that was an aside that someone chose to focus exclusively on and ignore the entire rest of my post.

[Gormy Cuss]

139. Your 'observation' was made in the context of dismissing her

and your insistence on defending that statement demonstrates that it wasn't a mere observation. It was an attempt to bolster the notion that she's not very smart based on her name sounding funny. That says a lot more about you than it does her.

[WatsonT]

143. Wow way to miss the point of an entire post

re-read it and block out that oh so offensive part with your hand.

[Moosepoop]

11. "...so the teacher stapled a note to the kid"

She never heard of safety pins? I have no problem with the note being pinned onto clothing (been there and done that with my kids), but stapling items to kids is a new one on me.

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. I don't have any safety pins in my desk.

It's March. They were gone by November. And I have to buy them myself. Have you priced safety pins lately?

[seabeyond]

13. shame on the parents for putting their kid in that position, then. they were the ones that failed

they should not be declaring to the world, how they failed at their job. that is odd.

anyway, when i got a pinned note from a teachers, was generally good stuff and i wore it with pride. i loved getting pinned notes.

i had forgotten all bout this because i never had this with my boys when they grew up. but, then younger years, i walked them into class every morning and chatted with teachers, also was around during pick up. they didnt need to pin a note on the kid

[Taitertots]

14. Of course the problem isn't her son disrupting class repeatedly...

It is the teacher who had the audacity to call him out for it. I think the school should be demanding an apology from her for having to deal with her and her children.

[Codeine]

32. Modern parents always take their kid's side.

When I got in trouble at school I got in twice as much trouble at home. My parents taught me that teachers were an authority in my life and they were to be respected. Not anymore.

[Taitertots]

46. The trouble at home would make the trouble from the note seem trivial

This child is so poorly raised that there is no trouble after repeated notes.

Modern parents don't want anyone telling them how to raise their children, even when it is obvious that they are doing a poor job.

[hunter]

19. Some of my high school teachers probably thought of doing that to me.

Not that it would have helped any. None of my notes got home.

[Mabus]

27. If my mom had a dollar for every note to pinned to me or my siblings

when we were in grade school, she would have died a very wealthy woman.

[Codeine]

31. We always had notes pinned to us in preschool and kindergarten, pretty much daily.

Not as much in first and second grade, but it still happened for really important stuff like field trip permission slips.

[WolverineDG]

33. and in 10 years, she'll be wondering why her little angel is in juvvie

that's what usually happens to kids whose parents don't teach them responsibility.

dg

[WatsonT]

36. He's such a sweet kid officer, would never hurt a fly

those people he gunned down must have provoked him somehow. How dare you embarrass him by arresting him in front of his friends (gang)!

[proud2BlibKansan]

39. Yep. I could write a book.

And I long for the day when I hear a crime story on TV or see it in my paper and don't want to look for a name, hoping it's not one I recognize.

[abelenkpe]

34. Teacher pinned a note to my hubbies shirt one day

When he was seven reporting that he was spelling his last name beginning with a small O and apostrophe then capital S. (He's from ireland) His father pinned a note on his shirt the next morning telling her that was correct and please stop contradicting his kid.

Gotta say as a working parent it is very easy to miss notes, invitations and phone calls. For months at a time I will be on 12 hour days plus weekends coming home at 10 pm. I have to keep my son up until 11:30 just to do homework. Don't like it? Change the society that requires families to have two working parents to just scrape by! Staple the note to the kids backpack strap instead that way it's not lost in pockets or spilled on and turned into mush. That's what my kids teachers do understanding our insane schedule.

(Not that he's in trouble, the notes are usually about field trips or homework or not eating snack)

[proud2BlibKansan]

38. When its a note the kid won't want Mom to see, it will get ripped off of that backpack

For other notes, yes, that would work. Of course, the kid needs to have a backpack. Sadly, quite a few do not have them.

[Gaedel]

134. I was deprived

I made it through K-12, B.S, and M.S. without ever having a backpack. I did have a knapsack in the Boy Scouts and later in the Army, but never took one to school. I must be warped for life, being so unfortunate as to not having a backpack.

[senseandsensibility]

41. I'm certainly not blaming the teacher but I think it's interesting

that these practices seem to have regional differences. I remember this happening rarely in the seventies when my brother was in school, but now I am an elementary teacher and it is never done at my school. I teach second grade, and the kids all have a homework folder. They also all have a backpack. Ever day before dismissal, they put all their homework and notes to go home in their folder and then into their backpack. I watch them do it. I don't have any problems with notes making it home. Once the parents know to check the folders daily, it's not a problem.

[JoePhilly]

48. This was common when I went to school in the 70s.

My mom would pin notes to me for the teacher too.

I think the adoption of the homework folder approach has made it easier for parent and teacher to communicate, as has increased email use at the schools.

In the end, this is a non-issue. If mom isn't going to respond to normal approaches, going back to an older method isn't a big deal.

[senseandsensibility]

80. No I don't think it's a problem either

but from a teacher's standpoint, or at least from my standpoint, it's easier to do the folder/backpack routine.

[JoePhilly]

131. Absolutely. They weren't doing it here until about 8 years ago.

My son is 18, my daughters are 11 and 9. They started to use the homework folder approach when my son was about 10, so he had for the last few years before high school. My daughters have always had it. They also have a nightly page to sign just to show that a parent actually looked.

Its good discipline for everyone involved. My one daughter harasses us to make sure we signed it :)

[proud2BlibKansan]

89. And not one fails to get that folder home? Or show his mother?

I've taught elementary school for 31 years and I would be shocked if you told me that 100% of your 2nd graders take that folder home every night and return it the next day - every day.

[senseandsensibility]

124. Yes, they do.

It's a well established routine from day one. They come into the room, put their backpacks in a designated area, come to their seat, and put the folder on their desk with the homework and any papers to be returned on top of the folder. This is introduced on the first day of school and does take a few days to perfect. LOL. But I'm patient, and in a short period of time, it's effortless. Homework and papers to be returned are passed out before dismissal and put into the folders as I watch. Then students are excused to get their backpacks and I watch as they put into the backpacks. I can't explain why they don't take things out that they don't want their parents to see, but they don't. In ten plus years of teaching second grade, I've only had that happen one or two times.

Of course the parents are informed of this routine too. The ones that accompany their kids to class on the first day and stay for a few minutes see me intoduce this themselves, and I send a letter home explaining my procedure to them as well as my other classroom routines.

Not saying this is the answer for all teachers. All I can say is it works for me. Also, I don't see anything wrong with the pinning for stapling either.

[HockeyMom]

42. We attach the note with staples to the straples of their backpacks

if it is something very important that a parent needs to see immediately. No, I have never seen notes pinned to kids. They didn't do that when my kids were little back in the 80s and 90s. I haven't seen it now where I have worked in both NY and in Florida.

[Bonhomme Richard]

43. When I was kid the Nuns used to staple it to my forehead.

How times have changed.
Kidding

[JBoy]

44. Drama mother is dramatic. Her child is a supporting actor in her play.

[Drahthaardogs]

69. Yes, Drama mother needs discipline herself.

The sad thing is this kid has no chance.

[Dappleganger]

45. Interesting, but this doesn't seem a bad practice.

The teacher did make an effort to conceal the note so I don't see the problem here at all.

[noamnety]

54. I've duct taped reminders on my students

and on my own shirt as well, when I was teaching.

And lots of students and teachers at our school will sharpie reminders to themselves on their hands - seems pretty routine to me if you know you're going to forget something otherwise.

[Recursion]

73. Though this wasn't pinned to him so he wouldn't lose it; it was a form of discipline

It wasn't a reminder to his parents, it was a way to embarrass him in front of his peers.

[seabeyond]

77. i read the article and i didnt read any of that. i got the message was pinned to have PARENT

call the teacher to discuss. since parent ignored all other effort to be reached.

nowhere did i read this was to discipline or punish the child

but an effort to reach the parent

[Iggo]

86. Yep. Yep. Yep.

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

:thumbsup:

[proud2BlibKansan]

99. If the teacher wanted to embarrass him, why did she put his sweatshirt on over the note?

It helps to read all the pesky little details.

[Scuba]

66. Well what did we expect. Teachers have been being demonized...

...in the press for months now.

[snappyturtle]

70. Bingo! I wonder what a TFA teacher would have done? nt

[WatsonT]

79. These stories go back a lot longer than the past few months

It's more the entire notion that parents have developed whereby their kid is perfect in every way. So logically it follows that if anyone criticizes or punishes them it's because that person has some evil vendetta against your snowflake.

[MichiganVote]

67. Earth to parents: Your kids will be laughed at in school for a lot more than a note at sometime.

Its inevitable. What about teaching your son to quit yakking and learn how to handle it when kids laugh at him. Its going to happen sometime by someone.

[msanthrope]

72. I've seen notes pinned to bookbags--like everybody gets a flyer

pinned to the bookbag to remind about a field trip the next day.

I've also seen notes pinned to individual children--this was done in my Catholic grammar school, and its purpose was to humiliate the child, and the parents.

I don't know what the motivation of this teacher was, but I suspect they will not be doing it again.

[Iggo]

85. School should buy the kid a new shirt...

...and have Mom pick it up at the front office.

:patriot:

[Egnever]

97. I would be pissed as well if this were my kid

There something wrong with picking up the phone or emailing me? There is no reason for this and you can bet I would be raising as much he'll as this woman is were it my child.

[PeaceNikki]

100. Yeah, I don't like this either.

I don't like that mom got media involved, and if she was ducking calls/avoiding contact then shame on her, but pinning notes to kids' backs is shitty.

[Egnever]

107. I doubt I would have gotten the media involved myself

However if this was done to my child and I got no satisfaction from talking with the school administrators or worse they thought it was ok as the OP seems to think then I just might.

Of course my wife and I will go out of our way to support our kids teachers in most instances , my wife is a teacher so we have a lot of empathy for what they have to deal with. Having said that the moment a teacher starts humiliating my child in class instead of calling me to rectify a situation there will be one angry father at the school very quickly.

[PeaceNikki]

109. Agreed. And thanks for pointing out the fact that nobody actually did try to call.

At least not in the story. I read the article, the OP and the comments and missed the gap there.

And, the other thing is this: even if a sweatshirt was used to cover it, I'd bet the actual act of stapling the note occured in front of other students. AND... how could that have been done w/o a teacher getting all up inside a kid's shirt? Also weird, creepy and seemingly wrong.

[proud2BlibKansan]

101. Didn't read the story, eh?

Teacher had called Mom and left messages. She had also sent home many other notes. Mom did not reply.

[Egnever]

105. Please copy and paste the part of the story that says that

Seems to me you are reading into the story what you want cause the story you linked says nothing about messages left.

"Innocent said the teacher’s reasoning for stapling the note was to make sure the parents received the note because the teacher felt the child hadn’t been taking home progress and disciplinary reports requested by his parents."

Maybe you didn't read the story, or maybe you are projecting your own frustrations on this story.

[proud2BlibKansan]

111. Sorry. That was in another report of this story.

I have received dozens of emails from friends and family on this story. My apologies. This particular story doesn't address the teacher's attempts to call the parents. It just says they had not responded to any of her previous notes. Which they should have done. They requested the notes, they should have acknowledged receiving them.

Here's a picture of the note. Looks like her son tried to crumple it up so Mom wouldn't see it.

[PeaceNikki]

112. Can you link to that? Google isn't returning anything like that.

This report indicates calls were not attempted: http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21003723751262/

She could have called me, she could have called my husband, to say, 'OK, well, your son has been misbehaving in school, talk to him when he gets home,' but not humiliate him."

[proud2BlibKansan]

117. I can't find it either. I'll look in my email.

I still say the mom is a drama queen. But yes, the teacher should have called if she hadn't. Of course it also says parents had asked for notes. Did that request come in a phone conversation? I don't see where the teacher can be blamed for not trying to contact them before attaching this note to the kid's shirt. And that's the issue here, right?

[PeaceNikki]

118. I think the issue is that the teacher handled it shittily.

And hopefully won't again. Kids act up. Kids talk in class. Kids hide notes from parents. Teachers need to be the grown-up in the situation and handle it with class and decorum. This one didn't.

[proud2BlibKansan]

121. I disagree obviously

The parent is the bad guy here for calling the media. Her child wasn't beat, he wasn't abused, he wasn't screamed at or written on (I can't help but remember the story about the teacher who wrote on the kid's forehead). He was talking in class and was disciplined. Happens every day in classrooms all across America. And even good kids get in trouble sometimes, especially in the 2nd grade. And parents are contacted. This teacher decided to send a note. For whatever reason. I send notes every day, more often than I call. It's easier and less embarrassing to the kid.

This all could have been settled with the child's dignity still intact. Mom had every right to complain. I don't agree with her but she has a right to be upset. But she blew it out of proportion by calling the media.

She should have told her child to start behaving in school, disciplined him, sent him out of the room and then call the school to express her displeasure. But she called the TV people and put her little angel on the news. She is the one guilty of humiliation.

And from now on, every time this kid is in trouble in school (experience tells me he will misbehave again) this kid knows his mom will side with him, call the school, get mad at the teacher and then go on TV.

So yes, I blame the mom here. She's a freakin idiot.

[seabeyond]

132. this report states she called him into office, doing it away from kids eyes, and put sweater over it

so, how did the kids know about it?

this story isnt right.... somewhere

[Egnever]

126. Let me try to be clear here

Clearly this parent is uninvolved in their Childs education, they deserve nothing but scorn for that. I do not think there should be any more discipline for the teacher than an explanation that pinning a note to a child is not an acceptable practice. If she had an issue with unresponsivenessfrom the parents then she should have handed it off to the administration,who should then have handled it.

Based on this article there is not enough info to go on , I suspect the majority of the blame in this situation lies mainly with the parent, having said that pinning a note to the child is not an appropriate way to handle the situation ever.

[Egnever]

128. Ok I have to revise my stance based on the article Nikki posted

According to that story the parent requested daily reports from the teacher.so the idea that the parent is uninvolved doesn't seem to hold water. Nikki's article also says the teacher never even attempted to contact them by phone so I have to go back to thinking this teachers actions are wholly inapropriate. This sounds like a teacher who lost their cool perhaps with good reason but she did not handle the situation well.

Again I say you pin a note to my child you are going to have one pissed off parent on your hands. Especialyif you haven't even attempted to contact me directly first.

[IdaBriggs]

104. Parent = Idiot.

My kids are in pre-school. We have already had the following discussion: "If your teacher says JUMP, Mommy and Daddy ask How High? If we have have to listen to your teacher, So Do You!"

Of course, we actually respect the job our teachers are doing, and think they are amazing people - a classroom full of 3/4 years, all getting individual attention, and learning like crazy? We are THRILLED with them. My beloved daughter had a bad day a couple of weeks ago (everyone does), and decided not to use her "listening ears" to the point where it had to be mentioned to me. I immediately knelt down *in front of the teacher* and (without questioning, because I *believe* the teacher), had a discussion about the importance of "listening." My daughter ended up apologizing before we left, and I made a point of double checking for the next couple of days to make sure the lesson stuck. (I also brought in some stickers for the teacher to use in rewarding "good listening" behavior, since all of us are big on rewarding correct behavior / not just punishing bad behavior.)

Not once did it occur to me to call the media about any of this, which is why I give the mother a Failing Grade in Reality. :)

[PeaceNikki]

110. It wasn't pinned, it was stapled.

[proud2BlibKansan]

114. So? Maybe the teacher didn't have any safety pins

I wouldn't use a straight pin, that could poke the kid.

[PeaceNikki]

116. Or maybe she could have called mom? Or mailed the note?

It just seems dumb.

[proud2BlibKansan]

119. A phone call would have humiliated him in front of his classmates worse than the note

I don't go down to the office and leave my class unattended every time I need to call a parent. Sure I try to be discrete but the kids know what I am doing, whose mom I am calling. A note can be handled much more privately than a phone call.

Bottom line is if Mom hadn't called the media the kid would be far LESS humiliated. That's lots more significant, IMO.

[PeaceNikki]

120. I see. That's your bottom line, but others are entitled to their opinions, too.

"The district said the principal has talked to the teacher about other ways to handle this situation."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1364196/Mothers-fury-school-staples-bad-report-sons-shirt.html#ixzz1GVghdzis

[proud2BlibKansan]

122. LOL of course the principal is going to say that

His JOB is to calm everyone down. They always say that. Wouldn't want to make this parent look like the idiot she is. Not on TV.

[JI7]

127. not sure if this is ok, but the Mother seems like a horrible parent

why didn't she answer when they tried to reach other in other ways ? she fits what many think of as the parents who think their kid can do no wrong.

going to the media over this ? that makes her come off even worse.

[Egnever]

129. Conflicting reports

Your first reaction was mine as well but Nikki posted another article in which the mother claims the school never tried to contact her directly.also she requested daily reports so I don't think this parent is uninvolved

[inna]

133. "elementary teachers pin notes to kids every day in every elementary school in the country"

really?

never happened to me or anyone i know, and i've never even heard about such practice until today.

if this indeed is taking place on such massive scale... something is wrong here.


personally, i would flip out if anyone tried to pin something to me.

[dogday]

135. I do remember being made to sit on a chair in the corner

with a dunce hat on and it was a huge hat. I was humiliated, but it kept me from doing the wrong thing any more..

[seabeyond]

137. reminder... 5th grade, desk moved over to door away from everyone else

what seemed like forever, before allowed to move desk back with other kids...

talking

my bad, lol

[dogday]

138. something tells me you moved your desk quite a bit!

:rofl: Hello MF :hug:

[seabeyond]

141. ya know, lol. my oldest son. ONLY thing he got in trouble for, too. ah ha. nt

[Evoman]

136. Sometimes, when you're an asshole, it's okay to be embarrased.

[Cleita]

140. I always had notes pinned on me, so did my classmates.

Back then both teachers and parents knew that kids could lose the note so it was more practical to pin it to the kids jacket or coat. Nobody worried about it including the kids. It was just something that was done that way.

[ecstatic]

144. Public humiliation is only wrong when done to suspected criminals

:sarcasm:

[Blue_Tires]

145. I'm 34, so I feel weird using the "In MY day..." opener, but

My parents would have spent their outrage (and then some) on why I wasn't doing what was expected of me in the classroom, instead of running to the local TV station...

Of course, in the time and place where I grew up, no parent would want to broadcast their own shortcomings in raising their kids...