I would like to announce my new Progressive-oriented business venture:

[Jackpine Radical]

Rent-A-Bagger.

If you're planning to have a demonstration somewhere in support of liberal values and causes, you will most likely find it impossible to get significant media coverage.

That's where Rent-A-Bagger can help. For a modest fee, we can supply you with enough simulated Tea Party counterdemonstrators to guarantee media coverage from all major mainstream news outlets. Our people come with authentic details such as flag shirts, NRA hats, and armpit bulges suggesting concealed weapons. They are all extensively trained in maintaining confused but belligerent facial expressions, and are issued standard signage (e.g. "Taxed Enough Already" and that dumb rattlesnake flag) as well as custom-designed signs appropriate to your event. In order to ensure versimilitude, all spelling, grammar and lettering on the custom signs is done by genuine third-graders.

[whathehell]

1. I love it!...n/t

[PA Democrat]

2. Are the port-a-potties included in the price?

[Jackpine Radical]

5. No. In the interest of truthiness, our counterprotestors

remain full of shit for the entire time they are at the event.

[PA Democrat]

10. LOL. Good one.

[FormerDittoHead]

20. The real tea baggers get big buses and professionally printed signage too! n/t

[FormerDittoHead]

21. dupe due to server error n/t

[Tippy]

3. BIG K&R.......love it ...

[Overseas]

4. Sad K&R. //nt

[Scuba]

6. Hire me! I'm real good at looking confused and angry. n/t

[roguevalley]

7. hire me. I'm retired. i do have two part time jobs but I can be

there. I have an hour between them. :) I find you magnificent, Jackpine.

[Jackpine Radical]

12. Flattery

:blush: will get you :blush:
anywhere…

[davidinalameda]

8. are you paying your baggers

for only the events they attend or are you going to have some on salary

[disillusioned73]

9. LOL - good stuff!!

k&r:dem:

[yourout]

11. That gives me an idea of my own....have a bunch of progressives dress up as baggers and when the....

cameras show up....we go Aston Kutcher on their Punked asses.

[davsand]

13. You are gonna need a good corporate lawyer to defend against the lawsuits.

Prima Facia, I'm seeing several areas of legal vulnerability. If you intend to produce the advertised "Baggers" you will be facing a serious limitation in who you can hire. You will need to demonstrate a Bona Fide Occupational Qualification in your practice of hiring only white males over the age of 55. Of a similar concern, is your practice of only allowing third-graders to produce your signage. Given the current trends in education, it is entirely likely that in a few years there will be qualified applicants from a much larger pool than currently exists.

I would also suggest you re-think your policy of limiting the port-a-potties, given that would surely present a workplace health and safety issue.

Regards,



Noble Daggett, Attorney at Law
Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe

[Jackpine Radical]

15. Dear Attorney Daggett

I take it you are fishing for an arrangement involving a retainer.

In reply to the specific concerns you raise, we are willing to expand our hiring guidelines to include aged, prunefaced females provided they can maintain a facial expression consistent with dyspepsia for at least 3 hours between 10-minute breaks. We are also considering hiring a limited number of black demonstrators provided they are either 1) willing to work in Whiteface or 2) able to demonstrate sufficient skill in enacting the signs and symptoms of Delusional Disorder.

We are also willing to engage people in the signage department provided they are able to convincingly simulate third-grade graphic communication skills as judged by our cadre of unemployed Grade School teachers.

As for the Porta-Potties, we are willing to be somewhat flexible on this issue. For example, we would be willing to supply our counterprotestors with up to 1 pound of cheese, or other food with proven constipating qualities, to assist in redeucing the need for these devices.

[davsand]

17. Son, (I hope you'll allow me the informality since I'm your attorney) have you ever...

...personally experienced a large scale fecal event--vulgarly called a "shit storm" in the common vernacular?

My advice to you (as your attorney and a friend) would be that you take care to keep yourself out of the line of fire. It's ugly as a klansman with Tourrette's and potentially every bit as dangerous.


:evilgrin:


You have no idea how much I have appreciated you and your humor over our years together here. Be well, my friend!



Laura

[Jackpine Radical]

19. Who better to be on the receiving end of a shitstorm than…

And it always gives me a warm glow to see your username on a thread too. Laura.

Jim

[madrchsod]

14. well sign me up!

hell i will work for food or a two night stay at wilderness!

[Jackpine Radical]

16. We are considering offering beer and travel money.

The experiences will take care of themselves.

[eleny]

18. Great minds!

Just yesterday I suggested we bring n a busload of them for each of our demonstrations thus insuring the media coverage.

But I love your idea to bring in our own brand of baggers. Heck, hiring from the local libs is taking care of our own, too.

As Thom would say - Good on ya!

[Enthusiast]

22. You're always thinking!

Rent-A-Bagger, funny shit.

[IDemo]

23. Nice, but you shouldn't impune third-graders

Most of whom could probably provide spell checking services on existing bagger signs.