Pardon me if this has been posted before but there's nothing like the truth and a few good laughs on a Monday morning:
You Might be a Teabagger If…..
1) You’re offended at any suggestion that the Tea Party is
racist, even though nobody objects when people show up
at your rallies with blatantly racist signs and slogans.
2) Ronald Reagan is your hero because he was against
raising taxes and big government… even though he raised
taxes 11 times, doubled the national debt, and tripled the
size of government.
3) You mocked Nancy Pelosi for getting emotional when
she reflected on the murder of her friend, Mayor George
Mosconi, but you think it’s manly when John Boehner
blubbers when he watches reruns of Flipper.
4) You were all in favor of George Bush bringing
“Democracy” to Iraq by invading and killing hundreds of
thousands of women and children, but you think Obama
“blew it” by staying out of it when the people of Tunisia
and Egypt toppled their dictators in popular revolts.
5) You think Climate Change is a big hoax because Senator
James Inhofe, firmly in the pocket of the oil companies
says it’s bogus.
6) You think president Obama’s birth certificate is a
forgery, and that he managed to fool the CIA, FBI, NSA,
Secret Service and the entire US government archive of
documents with one Photoshopped image.
7) You think president Obama is a socialist, because he
wants all Americans to pay their share of taxes, including
the rich, and all Americans to enjoy the same benefits of
an equitable society, including the same healthcare that
Congress enjoys.
8) You think Glenn Beck’s theory of a Code
Pink/Muslim/Communist alliance conspiracy to take over
the world in a 21st Century caliphate makes perfect sense.
9) You believe the Citizens United decision was all about
corporate “free speech,” yet you’re against the Fairness
Doctrine being reenacted, because you think it’s contrary
to “free speech.”
10) You are absolutely pro-life, under all circumstances —
except when an abortion doctor is executed in his church,
because he asked for it.
11) You thought it was cool when Sarah Palin “targeted”
Democratic seats on her website with crosshairs, including
Gaby Giffords. But when Giffords was shot in Arizona,
you didn’t see any connection.
12) You think Sarah Palin would make a good president
because she’s a feisty conservative, but that Diane
Feinstein should be run out of town, because she’s a feisty
liberal.
13) You think George Soros, a Hungarian born American
citizen, is an enemy of freedom because he uses his vast
wealth to meddle in foreign affairs. But you think it’s
great that Rupert Murdoch, an Australian citizen, uses his
vast wealth to meddle in American affairs.
14) The main reason you despise George Soros, is because
he helped bring down three foreign governments; the
Ukraine, Czechoslovakia, and Soviet Georgia. Three
communist regimes. Ronald Reagan on the other hand,
took down one communist regime: Grenada… Reagan: 1,
Soros: 3. Ergo, Soros is an un-American commie. Besides,
Sean Hannity said so.
15) You think being a Teabagger makes you more patriotic
than liberals, because you own more guns than them
wussies.
16) You screamed bloody murder when president Obama
rescued GM and Chrysler, because they were “going to fail
anyway.” But now that they’re both on the road to
recovery, you think George W. Bush deserves most of the
credit.
17) When Barack Obama was sworn in, the Dow Jones
was at 6500. Today, it’s at 12,400, almost double where it
was. And at that time, the economy was shedding
700,000 jobs per month, a trend that has been arrested
and reversed ever since. From that, you deduce Obama’s
the one who wrecked the economy.
18) You still believe Saddam had WMDs.
19) You are dead-set against “judicial activist” judges, but
you were okay with it when the five conservative justices
of the Supreme Court voted in favor of Citizens United,
effectively guaranteeing our politicians will be bought by
the highest bidder, rather than elected by the people.
20) You’re strongly opposed to gay rights, because you
claim it’s not biblical. Except in the case of Ken Mehlman,
Mary Cheney, and Ted Haggard, because they still vote
“right” on the issues.
21) You want all illegal immigrants rounded up and
deported, ASAP, no exceptions, period, period, PERIOD.
But you don’t want any criminal charges filed against the
corporations that have been hiring them en masse in
violation of law.
22) One of your stated concerns with Barack Obama’s
candidacy, was that he was too inexperienced for the job,
yet you want Sarah Palin to challenge him next year.
23) You hate tax cheats, and people who abuse their status
for personal advancement — but you admire Clarence
Thomas, and have no problem with his wife “speaking on
behalf of her husband” at the Heritage Foundation, a far
right-wing organization.
24) You went ballistic when an illegal immigrant
murdered an American in Texas two years ago, and you
demanded justice. But when three members connected to
the Tea Party murdered 9 year old Brisenia Flores, you
and your right-wing media barely even mentioned it, nor
the conviction.
25) You equate being a “community organizer” to being a
Marxist, yet you claim to worship a God whose entire life
was being a community organizer.
26) You claim Barack Obama is soft of terrorism and that
he’s sympathetic to Muslim extremists. Yet during his first
two years in office, his administration captured or killed
more terrorists than George Bush did in all eight years of
his presidency.
27) You cheered as Andrew Breitbart and his faux
journalists brought down ACORN. But when Breitbart got
caught doctoring footage of Shirley Sherrod, which
brought into question his veracity, you accused her of
waging a “race war.”
28) You support Israel’s policies regarding the West Bank
and Gaza, because Israel is a democracy, like us. But when
Arabs democratically voted in anti-American and anti-
Israeli governments, it bewildered you.
29) Your spiritual hero, the Grande Dame of the
conservative movement, is Ayn Rand; the dedicated anti-
socialist. And yet, she herself in her later years, had no
problem secretly cashing in on social security and
Medicare.
30) You still think fascism and socialism are the same
thing, because Glenn Beck has convinced you of that with
his magic blackboard. This way, nobody can accuse you of
being similar to the Nazis… even though you are.
Found here:
http://thepragmaticprogressive.org/wp/2011/02/19/you-might-be-a-teabagger-if/
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