Tennessee Republican files birther bill... Doesn't know what a "long form" is

[JohnnyRingo]

Hahahaha. Sometimes GOP politix just reads like a comedy script:

Birther Bill Author: What's a Long-Form Birth Certificate?


Last month, Tennessee state Sen. Mae Beavers introduced SB 1091, a bill that would require presidential candidates to present a long-form birth certificate in order to qualify for the ballot in the Volunteer State. Beavers, a Republican, is in good company: Nearly a dozen states have now introduced similar legislation—part of national campaign mounted by the birthers, those conservatives who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States. To date they haven't had much luck; a bill proposed in Arizona looked the most promising but was scuttled in committee; on Wednesday, New Hampshire GOPers knocked down a similar proposal.

It's a far-fetched goal, and it turns out that Beavers, who recently discussed her bill on Reality Check, a radio show devoted to debunking birther legislation, still has some research to do. From the transcript:

RC: What are the specific requirements in the bill?

MB: That they have to have the long form birth certificate.

RC: What is the long form birth certificate?

MB: Now, you're asking me to get into a lot of things that I haven't really looked into yet.

The host then asked the obvious follow-up: why put a term into the bill, if you don't know what it means? Beavers responded, "Well, we are following some of the bills that have been filed in lots of other states, and you know how it is, you file your bill and, you know, you prepare before you go to committee."

File first, understand later?

Read on here, it gets better:

http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/03/birther-bill-author-not-sure-what-bill-does

I'd wonder how this woman got elected, but I already know.

[JuniperLea]

1. I demand it! I don't need to know what it is to demand it!

Harrumph!

Egad... what a blithering fool.

[louis-t]

2. Republicans Reward Ignorance.

That's why.

[rurallib]

3. Gets political info from Youtube because "Youtubes is infallible"

That wasn't Beaver but some other idiot.
Good lord. What a bunch of morans. Hey Mae Beaver, got a long form birth certificate?
And who names these people."Mae Beaver meets Randy Hopper" sounds like a porn title if ever there was one.

[Scuba]

15. Best porn movie title ever. Thanks. n/t

[Ganja Ninja]

4. I'm waiting for the day when all these birther bills come back to bite the GOP on the ass ...

the way just about everything they touch comes back to bite them on the ass.

[dbackjon]

5. Beavers is among the most ignorant of the TN republicans

And that is saying a lot.

But she loves Jesus, so she wins elections

[Ghost in the Machine]

6. She looks like she could be Orly Tait's mother or grandmother

[Ten Bears]

7. I used to live in Beavers' district.

She is indeed a certified idiot. I sat at the same table as her at a banquet. Everyone at the table exchanged conversation except her. She didn't say a word all night. before being a senator she was in the house. While there she was a member of the "do-nothing Caucus." Always against whatever came down the pike but never offering anything herself. She got in trouble late in her house career because it was revealed that she didn't live in the district. She does live in her senate district however which may explain why she made the jump. Despite her being an idiot she probably is not the dumbest person in the senate. Sad commentary on Tennessee.

[gratuitous]

8. But let's not call this ignorant racist an ignorant racist

Because that's apparently beyond the pale.

[Kennah]

10. Can we use a conjunction?

Mae Beavers is ignorant and racist.

[Rex]

9. And this is why America(tm) became a country 'too big to fail'.

Repukes...harmful to everyone since the day they discovered stealing money from the working poor is profitable!

[jdlh8894]

11. Kinda like-

"We have to pass it to know what's in it"?

[LibertyLover]

12. I loved the comment on the article from the state legislator in Texas

who said in the article he got all of his information from YouTube because YouTube was infallible. There are simply times when even the Godzilla face palm and a giant WTF? are simply not enough.

[WhollyHeretic]

13. Holy crap did people elect some nuts this past election. I don't know what was in that Tea

but I'm pretty sure it causes brain damage.

[nykym]

14. After reading the article

it would seem that legislation or a rule that whomever introduces a bill should be well versed in the proposed legislation's and all terminology used in the proposal. Who are these people and how did they get to this level of government? Most of us would be crucified for lack of knowledge like this.

[theothersnippywshrub]

16. I sent her this.

The Actual True Birther Truth of Baby Obama's Birth.

Barrack Hussein Obama was born in a jet propelled hot air balloon sometime between January 1959 and October 1964. It is possible that he was born in August of 1961. The attending physician was from Papua New Guinea. The identity of the physician has caused leading Republicans to ask the question: "Which Doctor?" This has caused the Republican party some embarrassment probably due to the Republican doctrinal hatred of, and institutional bias against, homophones.

Obama's mother may have been his younger half-sister and his father may have been Sun Yat-sen, neither of whom was born in Hawaii although both have Hawaiian Certificates of Live Birth, as not explained below. It also is possible that Obama's father was his grandfather. Or maybe Malcolm X. Or maybe Ronald Reagan (this would cause Republicans' heads to explode resulting in massive rectal trauma.)

As for the location of baby Obama's birth, the baby's head emerged from the mother's birth canal while the hot air balloon was in Hawaiian airspace. The balloon then traveled to Indonesian airspace where the baby's torso emerged, and from there the balloon went to Kenyan airspace where the baby's legs and feet were delivered. Because of the protracted time lapse during baby Obama'a birth, the other occupants of the balloon were heard to exclaim: BIRTH! . . Er . . . . BIRTH! . . Er . . . . BIRTH! . . Er. Oddly enough, this chant was destined to become part of the Republican Party orthodoxy many years later.

Once baby Obama's birth was complete, the balloon headed toward Canada. That's right ! Canada ! ! The umbilical cord was cut in international airspace. This bears repeating: the umbilical cord was cut in international airspace ! ! ! Under both state and federal law as it existed at the time, this means that Obama was not Constitutionally eligible to become president of the Harvard Law Review. However, since life begins at conception according to Republicans, and since baby Obama was conceived in Hawaii which nearly everyone concedes was then and still is part of this country, Obama is Constitutionally eligible to be President of the United States.

Upon arrival in Canada, the one day old baby Obama spent somewhere from 37 minutes to 42 minutes being indoctrinated into Socialism (he was highly intelligent and a quick learner with a remarkable APGAR score which has always infuriated Republicans, him being black and all.) There are no records or any evidence whatsoever indicating that baby Obama received any Socialist health care while in Canada, which can mean only one thing. Baby Obama must have received Socialist health care while in Canada and he vowed then and there that someday he would bring Socialist health care to some other unnamed country. And that is two things. The significance of this is both obvious and ominous. Also two things. Hence, this is doubling damning evidence of something.

The hot air balloon then headed to an undisclosed location in Washington state (in another country which shall remain unnamed for security reasons) where baby Obama went directly to the world famous Forged Birth Certificates and BBQ Bazaar. There baby Obama purchased three forged Hawaiian birth certificates (one each for himself, his mother and his father) in all the short form, long form, vault copy, balance beam copy, colby, swiss, and other variations which have been fully, though never clearly, described on the internets. (Probably because the tubes are clogged.) He got the Anti-Christ volume discount of course since his umbilical cord was cut in international airspace. He also purchased 139 different Social Security numbers for future nefarious use. He did not get the Lou Dobbs volume discount on this purchase since that requires a purchase of at least 144 Social Security numbers. While at the Forged Birth Certificates and BBQ Bazaar, baby Obama also had the ribs with a side of slaw (child's portion and price.)

The hot air balloon now began its triumphant return to Hawaii. Upon arrival in Honolulu, baby Obama immediately called Australia to arrange for the creation of certain documents which might become important to someone many years later. He also made arrangements with future Hawaiian government officials concerning statements they would make in 2008 and 2009 about his birth. Baby Obama then got jobs at two different Hawaiian newspapers. He was in charge of handling birth announcements and operating the printing presses. The printing press jobs were union, so this obviously is when Obama became a communist. He often would arrive home from work covered in black printer's ink, which left Oily Taintz in his bathwater. The printer's ink likely is the basis for leading Republicans later referring to Obama as a "little, black man-child" since such a reference could not possibly be due to Republican racism or bigotry.

Shortly thereafter, baby Obama began teething. While no definitive conclusions can be drawn from this fact, it is highly suspicious since it is well documented that some babies born in Africa, in the same year baby Obama was born, began teething at approximately the same age. It was also during this period of his life that he may have worn muslin diapers, which probably explains why some Republicans have accused him of being "muslin." Also, too, sometime either before or after his birth, or sometime since then too, Obama began hanging around with terriers also. As Obama grew older he attended some of the finest schools in the world, possibly including Hogwarts, which may explain why Republicans now call him the "Magic Negro."

The rest of the United States of America and the world call him Mr. President.