Do you remember that guy from high school?

[Cerridwen]

The one who was always telling everyone when and how and by whom he got laid? Remember at your 10th year or 25th year reunion and it turned out he had been lying the whole time? Remember how in high school you knew he'd been lying because you all talked and discovered that those who talked about it all the time were the ones not "getting any" and those who where the most quiet...were?

My SO met a guy, long ago, who had been in Cambodia during the days the US was "not in Cambodia." He had no details to offer but that he was there and the gov't was lying. Then he climbed into a bottle and there was silence...but his eyes...his eyes.

I've met guys (I'm of that age and political persuasion) who were in "'Nam" and who will NOT speak of it. They were there; that is all they will say; and then their eyes...their eyes...and silence.

I have two uncles who "flew 'Nam." The one always has a beer in hand and the other always has a scotch in hand. They'll tell you some entertaining stories that might have made the news at the time but if you ask them for specifics...their eyes...their eyes...and silence.

A good friend and former boyfriend of mine was a paramedic for 20 years before he became a civil engineer. Man, getting together with him and his paramedic friends would curdle my stomach for days. Body parts, skinned bodies, shoes there, feet here, arms over there...ask them about the children...their eyes...their eyes...and silence.

A few years ago, I met a kid, served during the "Gulf War." "Bros before hoes" he told me. Pasty-white, Pillsbury dough-boy who "served" during the Gulf War from Germany handing out size 9 boots to troops who were size 10; was "RAH! RAH! BOOO YAHHHHH!" had "served" in the Gulf War and was Oh, so tough!!! He was one helluva soldier! Man, oh, man, he'd be the first to tell you how tough he was and how we need to "bomb them back to the stone age." His eyes had no "1000 yard stare" and he'd talk your ear off about how tough he was. Quite a guy!

The ones who were there, the ones who fought, the ones who rescued the kids, the ones who were real and not just observers, or psychopaths, or attention WHORES...their eyes...their eyes...and silence.

edited out a couple of paragraph returns...just a formatting thing.

[gkhouston]

1. My dad got a Bronze Star and Silver Star during WWII. Never found out 'til after his death.

If there was a war movie on TV he might say, "I was there," but never any more than that. He had some funny stories about boot camp and a few about the poverty in Shanghai after the war, but in between--silence.

[Cerridwen]

2. .

:hug:

Exactly. "They" never talked about it.

Those who "shove it in our face" were either not there or were of a personality type that we really don't need in our gene pool.

I'm sorry for your loss. That was another awful time in our history. :hug:

[gkhouston]

3. Indeed it was, despite being a "good" war. There are no good wars. n/t

[Cerridwen]

4. It has been said...

Sorry for the third person quote kind of thing...It has been said that in war, there are 100% casualties; that includes the troops, their families, and the community.

Again, I'm so sorry you went through that. :hug: Words just don't do it. :(

[Javaman]

9. My two Uncle were in Europe, both always talked about the cold...

and nothing more.

My other Uncle who was in the Pacific, always talked about the bugs and nothing more.

Like you said, it was only after they died, that I found out what they saw.

My great uncle was in WWI, he had "night terrors" until he died at 91.

I found out later that he got gassed. Never ever talked about the war. Found out about the "Night Terrors" from my cousin.

Lost family in Viet Nam. Have friend who are serving and who have just finished serving.

they are different. Great people, but just different. Some have anger, some have sorrow, some just want to forget in a bottle.

But like you said, all of the people I have known that have experienced war, have those eyes. That far off look of fear, terror, loss, sadness. I riveting penetration behind the eyes.

We are a sad race of people to do this to ourselves.

[Cerridwen]

5. Oh, hell...

:kick: it.

[Hardrada]

6. Mu uncle Ed was in the Pacific in WWII as a Naval aviator.

Some guys wrote books about it. He never said one single word about his experiences. He was out there a very long time and that might have been part of it.

[Divernan]

7. Korean combat veteran: totally anti war

I always thought of my decades-long State Farm insurance agent (now deceased) as a quiet, gentle, non-macho guy.

I was on the phone with him (having known him for over 10 years) one day and mentioned I had just gotten to meet Stan Musial, who told some good stories about his friend, James Michener. That led into my just having read James Michener's "Bridges At Toko Ri".

Gus told me he had been a naval aviator in Korea, and he found it a good book. He thought the book was based on the actual missions flown to blow up a North Korean dam and flood a valley, which would delay Chinese troops coming down into North Korea. He had to fly his plane through a valley to get at the dam, and there were anti-aircraft guns firing at him from both sides. On his various sorties in North Korean air space, he was shot down three times, captured once, and escaped back across the lines all three times. I remember him talking a little about being shot down and escaping from his captors while they were sleeping and before they got him to a prison compound.

He finished by saying he was totally anti-war and he would never want his son to experience any of the horrors he had.
I was floored by the conversation. I liked the guy before, but had tremendous respect for him after that.

My oldest's godfather was a Marine evac helicopter pilot in Vietnam, who had planned to make a career in the Marines.
He told my husband/his best friend some horror stories about his experiences, which he said he would never tell his wife.
He did not re-up because he was convinced he would never survive another tour.

I have another college friend who was a Marine artillery captain in the Siege of Khe Sanh. He never talks about it, but he and members of his old unit make great efforts to get to their reunions.

No doubt about it, war is hell.

[Scuba]

8. Those of us who were there will tell you...

....nothing.

[sinkingfeeling]

10. Almost every one of my school pals went to Nam. I know what you mean about the eyes.

[LiberalCatholic]

11. when my husband and I were first married

we lived in a little basement apartment downstairs from a wonderful couple that my grandmother knew. The husband was, "in the war." We never heard anything other than that Micky was, "in the war." Well, on Veterans Day my husband went upstairs to thank Micky for his service (my father in law was a lifetime service member and my husband always thanks men and women in uniform). My husband came downstairs ashen. Come to find out Micky landed in a third wave on D-Day, was surrounded in the battle of the bulge, and liberated a concentration camp. And all he ever said was that he was, "in the war." Real heroes never need to brag...

[TNLib]

12. I have an uncle who's kind of a drug addict.

He was dishonorably discharged from the Marines and he was in Viet Nam. But in 1984 him and his wife came and stayed with us and that's when I found out he had night terrors. I have no idea what happened to him in Viet Nam or why he was discharged. He never talks about it. But he has those eyes.

[RandomThoughts]

13. Actually while they don't talk about the battles.

They do have much to learn from them, they speak about it in life lessons, and it is in many places.

Many of the stories and songs are part of life lessons people have had in some conflict or another. You can see what they learned spoken of in a story, or what they went through in there songs.

But they do it in a way that can help many people. I respect that.

Although it is not about military wars.


I often wonder if that is what the 'Beware of long robes and long prayers' is also about. Or how the Samurai poets redefined what the Samurai were after there was peace and their roles were mostly ceremonial. Even the Bushido code is not what a combat Samurai would think like, it seems to be a glorification of the class, not the respect the class earned by actions.

I think on the topic you post about alot. There are things like that in the bars also, I have seen that stare in peoples eyes also. And I agree those are probably people that have been in some battles.

Although I would probably tell someone if I got laid, been along while. <- isn't that funny :D Then again I don't think of that as anything to brag about, that is conquest type of 'pickup' types that think getting laid is something to brag about.

[DisgustedTX]

14. Yes. They become phony, drunken Rove indicters

Filth.

[B2G]

15. I interviewed a Vietnam vet years ago for a college class

He had those eyes. He was a chef that I worked with in a restaurant. Good friend, but he never spoke of his service, although everyone knew had been in the military at that time. One of my college classes required me to interview someone who had gone through trautmatic experiences. He agreed to the interview and told me things he had never spoken of before. It was haunting. I asked him to preview my paper before I turned it in...wanted to make sure he was OK with how everything was stated. I will never forget how he looked at me after he read it. He folded it up, put it in his pocked and hugged me. And looked at me with those eyes. I can't even explain to this day what passed between us at that moment.

[Stinky The Clown]

16. Two guys here in the neighborhood. Both were in the Marines during the Korean War.

One was a helicopter crew chief who never saw action. Korea is all he talks about. Same stories for the last twenty or thirty years.

The other guy was at Chosen Reservoir. Not a word.

[Luciferous]

17. My grandpa fought in WWII and the Korean War, and he won't

talk about it either.

[Kat45]

18. My father was in WWII and he never talked about it.

My mother and I knew nothing about it. (I think she might have known what country he was in; I don't remember.) But I remember that when I was a kid, if a there was a loud noise when my father was sleeping he'd jump a mile.