Congress, States simultaneously pass CRUD Act

[Scuba]

In a breathtaking show of unity, Republicans in Congress and many state legislatures simultaneously passed, at 4 AM today, the Create Reality by Ultimate Denial Act, informally called the CRUD Act . The Act eliminates reality and includes a provision permitting any GOP official to unilaterally ban unforeseen realities as they arise. Among the Act's provisions:

* climate change will no longer exist
* nuclear power has negligible risks
* there is no bias in the corporate-owned media
* failure in public education is the result of too much money spent on it
* the environment looks fine, around my estate, anyway
* health care costs help the economy, especially insurance and pharmaceutical industries
* there is an endless supply of fossil fuels
* the recession is prolonged by paying snow plow drivers, bus drivers, etc. high wages
* our infrastructure will improve as soon as we sign contracts with our large road-building contributors
* poverty is caused by poor people; by ridding ourselves of poor people, we can eliminate poverty


(thanks to my sister for this one)

[Angry Dragon]

1. Will they supply all with rose colored glasses??

[Jim Lane]

5. Yes. They'll be provided by Halliburton at $618 per pair.

Another provision in the CRUD Act says that whatever any private corporation chooses to charge is a fair price.

[Drale]

2. This needs to be brought up over and over in the next election

[japple]

3. Tell your sister that this DUer thinks she should be writing for The Onion!!

Very insightful. This should be posted where everyone can see it.

[femrap]

4. I love

sarcasm.

[Ohio Joe]

6. K&R - nt