Chuck Norris: Mary Might Have Aborted Jesus Christ Under ObamaCare/'Herodcare'

[HarveyDarkey]

In his latest syndicated column, Chuck Norris wonders if the Obama health care plan would have resulted in some dire consequences if it had been around in times past: Namely the abortion of Jesus Christ Himself, under the regime of "Herodcare."

Norris writes:

Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington's wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?

But wait a minute. Wouldn't those same progressives have been opposed to stoning or otherwise mistreating the teenage unwed mother, and offered her generous social services instead?

http://tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/12/chuck-norris-mary-might-have-aborted-jesus-christ-under-obamacareherodcare.php

[undeterred]

1. Chuck Norris should have been aborted.

[fadedrose]

5. The mere fact that he wasn't stoned

by progressives is proof of the goodheartedness of the progressives....

[smiley]

8. he was.

and it didn't work.

[Ter]

66. His mom tried, but failed

He can't be aborted. He's Chuck Norris.

[Cheap_Trick]

2. I'll perform a retroactive abortion on that bearded schmuck.

Friggin moron.

[sarge43]

3. So, God would have let his only son be aborted? n/t

[aquart]

12. Of course not. Women have no rights.

Kindly remember how she got pregnant. (Which is why I'm thinking Jupiter, not Jehovah if we ever do a Y-chromosome DNA test.) Something Christians do like to gloss over.

[sarge43]

31. Consider the logic conclusion to Norris' rant

Either God isn't omnipotent or he just likes to knock up teenage girls. Either he couldn't stop the abortion or he's a hit and run dirtbag.

[Gman]

4. Who the hell told this guy he was entitled to a published opinion

stupid is now cool because the inmates rule the insane asylum.

[Ezlivin]

6. "...avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning..."

And where does that "ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning" come from, Mr. Norris?

That's right: Your beloved Bible. It is the book that encourages that behavior, the book you want the rest of us to live by.

No thanks.

[Statistical]

21. Really? While the bible mentions stoning where does it advocate it?

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

- John 8:7.

By your logic an encyclopedia with an article of Nazi party would be promoting the Holocaust, the belief in a master race, and national expansion through military might.

[Ezlivin]

44. Ask and ye shall receive

The Bible recommends (encourages) stoning for a number of reasons, some of which you may disagree with. :)

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her ... and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate: And the damsel's father shall say ... these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city. ... But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

They found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day. ... And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones.... And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses. (Numbers 15:32-56)

And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him. (Leviticus 24:16)

If there be found among you ... that ... hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them ... Then shalt thou ... stone them with stones, till they die. (Deuteronomy 17:2-5)

A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them. (Leviticus 20:27)

Thou didst blaspheme God and the king. And then carry him out, and stone him, that he may die. (1 Kings 21:10)

Now excuse me while I get stoned in the New Age fashion which, I can guarantee you, is much more fun.

[Hannah Bell]

69. lol, OT law on stoning nearly exactly mirrors that in the koran.

same cultural milieu.

OT orders disobedient children to be stoned. I think the koran omits that one.



Who participated in judicial process of an accused person?

First, there had to be a minimum of two witnesses regarding the offense. Prior to giving their testimony before a court, they were admonished intensely reminding them they were accountable to God for any blood that was shed of a man who was wrongfully condemned. They were then examined with a series of questions by the Sanhedrin.

As prescribed in The Mishnah, twenty-three judges were necessary to try a capital offense (except in the case against the High Priest or a false prophet, where 71 judges would be necessary to adjudicate the matter.) A majority of two was need for a conviction for any capital offense.


The process of rendering a decision focused on the community of people continuing to be a holy people before God, which included the fear of shedding innocent blood. Hence, the concept of innocent until proven guilty.


Trials and verdicts in capital cases had to be held during the daytime and a decision to acquit could be rendered on the same day.


Two scribes were present during the trial – one to write down the words spoken that favored the acquittal and the other to write down the arguments for the conviction.


What happened once convicted of the offense?

After a guilty verdict was rendered, the condemned person was dragged some distance outside the city gate, to a pit, where the actual stoning occurred. If a woman was convicted of adultery, the stoning could likely occur in front of her father’s house as a symbol of the shame that was brought to that household and family members were to hold no compassion for them regarding their offense because they knew the commandments they were to live by.

A herald would lead the procession to the stoning pit outside the city gate and his job was to announce the condemned person’s name and his or her father’s name, the crime they were convicted of and the names of the witnesses.

The condemned person had an opportunity to be acquitted of their crime, up to and during the stoning execution, should someone come forth with new information that might overturn the courts decision and now find them innocent. If such a person was available with credible information, a member of the court standing by the city gate would wave two flags, signaling a rider on horseback to hurry and stop the execution and to bring the individual back to the court for further testimony that might aid in their acquittal. This could happen up to four or five times.

The place of execution.

Upon arrival where the stoning would occur, the condemned person would make a confession of their guilt approximately 18 to 24 feet away from the stoning pit. At this point, he might say, “May my death be an atonement for all my sins.”


At approximately 6 to 8 feet before the stoning pit, males were stripped of their clothes and would only wear his loincloth while a woman would remain clothed. The witnesses would lay their hands on the head of the condemned absolving themselves from the guilt of stoning the individual as a just form of punishment.

The first witness pushed the individual into the pit from a height of 10 feet and if the fall did not kill them, then the witness would turn the body over, standing over the individual with a heavy stone maybe 10 or 15 pounds in weight and thrust it onto the chest of the condemned. If that did not kill the person, the second witness would approach and perform the same action with another heavy stone. If that did not kill them, then the entire congregation (community) would barrage the body of the individual with hand-size stones until they were dead.

http://www.kurtmichaelson.org/2009/01/stoning-in-new-testament.html

[WinkyDink]

39. Nowhere in the NT, pal.

[Ezlivin]

45. Did they remove the NT from the Bible?

No? Then I guess it's part of the Holy Book, pal.

[WinkyDink]

73. I wager Mr. Norris is Christian; AKA, one who believes the NT tenets supercede those of the OT.

That IS the purpose of the New Testament, BTW.
It is why there is no "eye for an eye" retributive justice.

As an aside: It is also why the Quran is not a step forward in theology.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Hitler's father was illegitimate.

If Hitler's grandmother had had an abortion Hitler would never have been born. That whole what-if some great person's mother had an abortion BS is ridiculous because the same argument applies just as well to a whole lot of really terrible people.

Chuck Norris is an idiot. He should have stuck to making bad movies.

[Vickers]

58. "He should have stuck to making bad movies."

He never really got away from that.

:P

[htuttle]

9. Logic and Reason are afraid of Chuck Norris

He just kicks them in the head.

[AmandaMae]

10. What a tired, illogical nonargument against abortion:

We don't live in a world of what-ifs. By this logic every rape victim should have to carry out her pregnancy, because she "might" be carrying the next da Vinci. And every time someone takes birth control, or even abstains from having sex, that must be wrong too, because after all, they "might" have brought a "great soul" into the world. Wow, I guess we should all have as much sex as possible. Just think about all those poor souls we are denying existence!

[Ilsa]

17. To carry it further: girls would be required to get pregnant right after

menarche. Can't be wasting those eggs! And no lactation-induced amenorrhea: she should get pregnant asap after every baby. If menarche starts at age 14, and she is fertile to age 45, she ought to squeeze out about 41 kids, back-to-back with constant pregnancies. Maybe more kids if there are some twins involved.

[randr]

11. More the case--Mary would have delivered Jesus in a hospital

with medical care and not in a manger.

[aquart]

14. Good point.

[left is right]

32. In the Spirit of Christmas, forgive me just this one time for being so nit-picky but,

Mary delivered Jesus in a stable and laid him in a manger. Every time I see the short-hand version of being born in a manger, I have this terrible image of this enormously pregnant woman climbing up into a cramped medium size manger, with her legs hanging over the edge. Poor Mary had enough problems with the traveling and the cold, hard grotto/stable without adding that to it.

(for some reason the smilies are not accessible on my computer today, so imagine the friendliest, most charming smiley here.

[Obamanaut]

71. And some people even disagree about being born in a stable. Depends

on the translation and who did the trhttp://www.christiananswers.net/christmas/mythsaboutchristmas.htmlanslating.

[Iggo]

13. What if Frodo's parents had gotten an abortion?

:wow:

[Brickbat]

15. Don't most people get tired of this argument in fifth or sixth grade? This one, and the argument

about socialism that goes, "Give me one example of socialism that has worked, and, uh, you can't name Sweden or Norway or something like that."

[Ilsa]

16. 1. Mary was betrothed to Joseph. My understanding is that "betrothal" was

more than an engagement, almost the same as married. Does the Bible report that Joseph ever "married" Mary?

2. Stigmatizing unwed pregnant women is a Rethuglican theme, especially if they are poor people.

[City Lights]

18. He's a putz.

:eyes:

[treestar]

19. Is he saying that Mary would have done such a thing, after seeing

the angel and knowing she was carrying the Son of God? What does he take her for, an imbecile? :rofl:

I heard an argument similar to this, that Obama would have been aborted, so why does he support abortion rights? Just assuming that since Ann "had to get married" she would have done an abortion. IOW, no such thing as a single mother who WANTS her kid!

Besides, the hysteria on DU belies this - wasn't Obamacare taking away the right to choice? I remember many a thread declaring Choice dead due to the bill. :rofl:

[madinmaryland]

20. What a moran.

[BlueJazz]

22. Oh Brother...Words fail me.

[roody]

23. Couldn't god have tried another woman if that had happened?

[EC]

24. Is he serious? He's become a real fool...

I'll bet that if there was a Mary...she had no insurance..

[bluestate10]

30. Chuck Norris has taken too many kicks to the head. nt.

[RegieRocker]

78. Thanks for typing that saved me the time.

[alphafemale]

25. Wait? What? Sounds like he is condemning ObamaCare because.....

Women WON'T be ostracized and stoned.

"What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy?"

Or am I missing something?

[Iggo]

37. Nope. You got it right.

He's pining for the good old days.

[Tesha]

26. It's God -- whatever he wanted to happen would have happened.

Why do these people have so little faith in their
"omnipotent" God?

Tesha

[marmar]

27. Too many kicks to the head + Christian Fundamentalism = Dangerous Combo

:freak: :dunce: :crazy:

[lunatica]

28. Chuck Norris opens his mouth and frogs fall out

[bluestate10]

29. Norris is a right-wing jackass. nt.

[Book Lover]

33. [head in hands]

Mary might have aborted Jesus because there were abortificants in the world at that time, you goober! Possible stoning? How ignorant can one really be?

[Saboburns]

34. It's so damn disappointing there are so many ignorant people in this country

I guess its not just this country, it's all humanity I suppose. That it is so easy to fool so many really depresses me. At the end of the day that's the lesson I'm left with.

It's so very easy for a small group of people to formulate an opinion, and then convince masses of others. I am amazed, saddened, but amazed at how easy we are to manipulate.

How else can one explain 'The Final Solution', Jihad, Reaganomics. Hell the list is endless.

To me the ease of manipulation is the human condition.

[SmileyRose]

35. Is he series? Of course Muslins want more jews to be born

Teh more jews B. Hussain can bring into the world the more jewish grandmas he'll have to line up in front of his muslin death panels.

Chuck Norris shoudl no that.




:rofl:

[Lucian]

36. Chuck Norris is an idiot.

His argument is full of faulty logic and inconsistencies that it's making my head spin.

I think Chuck took two too many roundhouse kicks to the head.

[WinkyDink]

38. OFGS. AS IF Right-wingers didn't abominate unwed mothers pre-Bristol.

[madrchsod]

40. in those days abortion was a common practice.

so common that a certain plant that was used for abortions was eradicated.

[JDPriestly]

41. Chuck Norris is ignorant about who is having abortions and why?

Most of the women who have abortions have them because they feel they cannot take care of the baby.

Decent health care probably reduces abortions.

According to a study published on this website, these are the numbers of abortions in various parts of the world per 1,000 women aged 15-44.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/25s3099.html

In the US, we have 1.5 abortions per 1,000 women aged 15–44.

In Northern and Western Europe, where health care insurance is a right, the rate is 0.4 (abortions per 1,000 women aged 15-44).

So, we would have to figure that the rate of abortion declines as women have more access to health care as a right.

In Eastern Europe, the rate is 6.2.

In Southern Europe, it is 0.8.

In Eastern Asia, it is 12.5.

The rate of abortions in developing countries is higher than in developed countries. If you want to end or reduce abortions, make sure women know they can take care of their babies once they are born.

The real miracle is that Mary did not die in childbirth. The rates at which women used to die in childbirth were pretty high prior to modern healthcare.

Pregnant women need healthcare. The Healthcare Reform is not nearly enough, but it may help reduce the number of abortions somewhat. Anyway, as a country, we are not doing that badly in this area. Compare our rates to those of other areas of the world.

[old mark]

65. Just ignorant, period.....FWIW, abortions do not get Federal money under "Obamacare"...

there were specific rules against that written in to allow it to pass.


mark

[pitohui]

42. breaking: chuck norris didn't read his bible, no shocker there

if he HAD read his bible, he would have discovered that the angel came to mary IN ADVANCE and got with her about what was going to happen and if she wanted to accept this...this was not a rape/underage teen sob story...GOD GOT PERMISSION FIRST

sheesh

"obamacare" would have provided her with all the pre-natal care she wanted if she had not happened to be married to a fairly well-off dude who owed taxes, etc.

doesn't mr. norris remember why they were journeying to nazareth in the first place? to take place in the census/find out what taxes they owed

they weren't in a stable because they were poor, joseph (house of david) was wealthy, they were in a stable because all the hotel rooms were sold out

sheesh re-doubled

stupid people shouldn't speak, really...they should just STFU

so mr. norris doesn' even know the basic story of christmas but he feels free to comment on it anyway

[Stevenmarc]

43. See what happens when you break wood with your head

[Rex]

46. Did Chuck Norris unintentionally call God a fucking bastard?

I think he did.

[sakabatou]

47. Chuck needs his ass handed too him again by Bruce Lee

[htuttle]

56. It's always worth watching again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqzQ2qrtBeg

[knitter4democracy]

48. Um, someone needs to read the story again.

For crying out loud.

[11 Bravo]

49. I believe that Bruce Lee, while delivering a comprehensive ass-kicking to Norris ...

destroyed Chuckie-boy's last fucnctioning synapse.

[JackRiddler]

50. Chuck Norris obviously has no faith in the Mother of God. Is he going to hell?

[lanlady]

51. how pathetic

Norris should be ashamed of himself.

[VOX]

52. Chuck: Doesn't your all-knowing/all-seeing, omnipresent/omniscient Gawd have any creative control?

If He, as you so often say, has a plan for each of us, isn't He in charge of the narrative that dictates the time and cause of Jesus' death? O ye of little faith!

[AsahinaKimi]

53. I guess all those kicks to the head by Bruce Lee

Finally got to his BRAIN.

[Initech]

54. Logic escapes the Chuck Norris types.

[leeroysphitz]

55. I get it. Norris is actually TROLLING.

[xor]

57. hehehhe

[IDemo]

59. chronic traumatic brain injury

Chuck, how many fingers can you see?

[Rectangle]

60. Hey, Chuck. Who the heck knocked her up in the first place?

:crazy:

[NYC Liberal]

61. If she had, how many millions wouldn't have been tortured or killed

in his name?

How many wars wouldn't have happened?

FU Chuckles.

[flvegan]

62. If stupid was painful, Chuck Norris wouldn't be able to get out of bed.

[ChoppinBroccoli]

63. Gee, It Sure Is A Good Thing For All Of Us That Jesus Was Never Killed.............Um, Wait.........

Where would Christians be right now if Jesus had been allowed to be killed.............

[tomm2thumbs]

64. Chuck Norris is the reason they stopped selling generic condoms

[Raine]

67. Yeah and WHO would "ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning"

it sure the hell wasn't the tolerant progressive people of the time. It was the type of people the Norris identifies with now...same then, same now. What an ASS. x(

[area51]

68. Upchuck Norris = FAIL. n/t

[and-justice-for-all]

70. So what is chucky saying about Mary??

It sounds like he is saying that the Health Care reform has forced abortions.

However, if he wants to get into bible rhetoric; in what would have been jesus time (if he actually existed, which he did not) they would not have needed Health Care Reform, because the bible actually encourages baby killing. They had silly dogma to justify their insanity for killing each other and it looks like not much has changed either.

Chuck Norris is an ignorant clown.

[kickysnana]

72. "Chuck Norris is an ignorant clown" Amen n/t

[JoePhilly]

74. Mary and Joseph were poor, homeless, illegal aliens , and Jesus was an anchor baby.

Chuck would have hated them.

[Enthusiast]

75. Chuck Norris = Ted Nugent =

Rush Limbaugh = Glenn Beck = Ann Coulter.

All trash all the time.

[Concordia]

76. Serious lack of logic...

Why would the character of Mary in the Bible have aborted a child that an ANGEL OF GOD had told her was a divine being? I'm pretty sure just about any woman alive would have been hesitant (to say the least) go get rid of a baby that God himself gave her.

So much logic failure.

[Arkana]

77. I wish Chuck Norris' mother had aborted him.

[Vickers]

79. Sure, but He would've popped back in there three days later. n/t

[Forkboy]

80. We should have been so lucky.

:hide: