G@# D#$% Bumpuses!!!! n/t

[morningglory]

[SixString]

1. The heavenly aroma still hung in the house....

...But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

[tammywammy]

2. It's a major award!

[pinboy3niner]

4. The old man's eyes boggled...overcome by art.

:rofl:

[City Lights]

8. You were always jealous of this lamp!

Jealous! Jealous because I WON!

[pinboy3niner]

9. With as much dignity as he could muster, ...

...the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered major award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of "Taps" being played, gently.

:patriot:

[SixString]

19. Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex...

...gleaming in the window.

[tammywammy]

3. But you see...it's smiling at me.

[morningglory]

5. Fragile: It's Italian! n/t

[SidDithers]

6. Not a finger!!..nt

Sid

[Ilsa]

7. "Tis the season to be jar-ry! Fa-ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!" the Chinese restaurant

cracks my kids up. Yes, it makes fun of people trying to speak English, but my son loves the scene, especially when they chop the duck's head off.

[Tesha]

12. Hey! Where do you think our Christmas-Eve Feast came from last night?

And they were doing a bang-up business! Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra!

Tesha

[toddaa]

10. A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

BESURETODRINKYOUROVALTINE

[rasputin1952]

11. "But...but...the head is still on..."

"Oh yes!"...*whack*

[Tesha]

13. "I triple-dog dare ya!"

(A slight breach of etiquette.)



"Thtuck? Thtuck! THTUCK!!!"

Tesha

[warrior1]

14. You'll shoot your eye out!

[pinboy3niner]

15. In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities...

...that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

[blondeatlast]

16. I remember bundling up like Randy to go to school in Boulder, Montana--

walking about two miles like that--then taking the whole outer 2-3 shells off in order to function,

I was JUST inside the bus boundary and couldn't take it. Hmph!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

[TwilightGardener]

17. You used up all the glue...ON PURPOSE!!

[Tesha]

18. "It was... soap poisoning."

[SixString]

20. Oh, life is like that.

Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at it's zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us.

[StarlightGold]

21. Only...

I didn't say "fudge"....

[Ilsa]

23. The phone call to Mrs. Schwartz is a priceless part of the movie. nt

[pinboy3niner]

22. Aha, the Bumpus hounds!

Our hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpuses, had at least 785 smelly hound dogs, and they ignored every other human being on earth but my old man.