Nuclear Energy Advocates Insist U.S. Reactors Completely Safe Unless Something Bad Happens

[n2doc]

MARCH 17, 2011 | ISSUE 47•11


WASHINGTON—Responding to the ongoing nuclear crisis in Japan, officials from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission sought Thursday to reassure nervous Americans that U.S. reactors were 100 percent safe and posed absolutely no threat to the public health as long as no unforeseeable system failure or sudden accident were to occur. "With the advanced safeguards we have in place, the nuclear facilities in this country could never, ever become a danger like those in Japan, unless our generators malfunctioned in an unexpected yet catastrophic manner, causing the fuel rods to melt down," said NRC chairman Gregory Jaczko, insisting that nuclear power remained a clean, harmless energy source that could only lead to disaster if events were to unfold in the exact same way they did in Japan, or in a number of other terrifying and totally plausible scenarios that have taken place since the 1950s. "When you consider all of our backup cooling processes, containment vessels, and contingency plans, you realize that, barring the fact that all of those safety measures could be wiped away in an instant by a natural disaster or electrical error, our reactors are indestructible." Jaczko added that U.S. nuclear power plants were also completely guarded against any and all terrorist attacks, except those no one could have predicted.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nuclear-energy-advocates-insist-us-reactors-comple,19740/

[RufusTFirefly]

1. The Onion's satire is almost becoming obsolete these days

Radiation exists in Nature! It's like carbon dioxide, for heaven's sake. And yet these liberal, free-market-hating fear-mongers are sounding the alarm about both.

[n2doc]

2. Radiation is good for you!

At least, that's what Ann Coulter says.... :eyes:

[Thav]

5. Were you channeling the 1920s?

http://www.popsci.com/scitech/article/2004-08/healthy-glow-drink-radiation

[thereismore]

3. And they would be right about that! nt

[Jamastiene]

4. I know the Onion is supposed to be satire and all, but

more often than not, they are the only ones in media actually telling the truth.

[Vincardog]

6. That still makes it the most expensive way to boil water ever invented.