My March 2011 so far : a rant

[elehhhhna]

My 14 y/o just went to detox for 2 weeks -- abusing a med her doc put her on --
and I have had to miss some time at work -- not a lot, a few days when we fougt CIGNA to get her in (should I leave a terrifed 14 y/o in withdrawal home alone while this insurance torture/drama was playing out? No.) I missed a few days last week when she was (abruptly) stepped down to outpatient rehab...she came home for overnights and it's been hellish. She and we were not ready.

My employer has been wonderful..."has" being the operative word here "do what you must, we support you, you are a very valuable employee, etc." but now they're pushing my taking a leave. Forcing a leave, to me, feels like a free layoff. I'm worried about what tomorrow will bring. I'm so raw right now -- it feels like my nerve endings, not to mention these whipsaw emotions, are so close to the surface that I may just lose it. I work my ass off at this job, but having run companies in the past, I GET that this is a pain in the ass for my employer. I'm really disapointed in the spouting of the typical republicanchristian bullshit: we say we care and we're supportive because talk is cheap and it enables us to pat ourselves on the back. But we're lying. Don't bother saying it if it's horseshit. The office is stressed b/c it's understaffed anyway - we lost 2 good people in 2 months to a non-producing drama queen manager who was FINALLY fired last month after much nasty behavior and oh, btw, violating every labor law and anti-discrimination rule that exists -- but, yanno, that's not my responsibility,or my failing. Okay, on rereading that I see that it's an undeniably dysfunctional operation.

If we have to bustout the 401K to keep me home for the next few months, so be it. If they ask me to take a leave again, I'm going to tell them that if they want me gone, they need to lay my ass off.

This really sucks bigtime.

[peace13]

1. Energy and love from you to me.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. May your young one be doing better soon.

[sarcasmo]

2. As a full time caregiver for my wife I can tell you that you are doing the right thing

regarding you're daughter.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Rant all you want!

You have more than earned that right...

I hope all will turn out well, and pronto.

I wish I could give you more support than cyber-hugs, but they are all I have...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[elehhhhna]

4. why does kindness make me cry so?

i love you btw. you are one of our wisest duers.

[monmouth]

5. If they let you go you are entitled to unemployment benefits. Bear in

mind they would love for you to quit. I've had similar problems way in the past. Don't take a "leave"...that's too vague. As you say if they want you gone they need to lay you off/fire you. Much luck and hugs to you all.

[RebelOne]

12. But unemployment benefits pay very little.

Ask me, I know. I am collecting unemployment here in Georgia. After taxes, I get a whopping $267 a week. Who can live on that? Fortunately, I also collect social security. Best to try to stay at your job if possible.

[monmouth]

16. Definitely, I agree. I just don't trust her company's vague statement

to her. Unemployment is by no means a great alternative but god forbid it happens, she does have some sort of recourse.

[Rex]

6. I am sorry to hear this.

:( 14...yikes! So young.

:hug:

[riderinthestorm]

7. Oh damn, I am so sorry.

You need to be there for your daughter - you already are doing exactly the right thing.

Hold tight to that and don't let them make you quit!

Hugs and hope everything comes right asap. I discovered my 14 year old experimenting with pot in December so your post gives me the shivers.

[elehhhhna]

8. (some) the pot my kid & her "friends" got was evidently laced w/ pcp

b/c the girls blacked out on it. not passed out: blacked out. they're 14 and experimenting, so they didn't know that it was not "normal" to react that way.

sorry to scare you but this NEVER ever crossed my mind, and it hasn't probably crossed your teen's mind, either.

[Dappleganger]

14. Actually, it's crossed my mind many times.

Never, ever ever take anything from anyone because unless you're a chemist and can test it right then and there, they could have given you drano or whatever and you could fucking die while thinking it was just a little xanax or something like that (yes, I try to scare them like that). I'm not anti-drugs, just know that people LIE and don't care what their shit does to people.

[proud2BlibKansan]

9. Sorry to hear it

:hug:

[Horse with no Name]

10. A friend of mine went through this with her teenage daughter a few years back

They couldn't get the help they needed. Her daughter was addicted to a couple of things. She had no idea--daughter came home one day in tears and told her.

They couldn't get her placed anywhere. Insurance flat said NO WAY.

So, they own a cabin in the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire. Basic necessities--nothing else.

She packed her up and they went out to the woods for a few weeks.

At the time, she said it was hell.

Now, a few years later, she says it was the best investment in her daughter that she could have ever done. So, hang in there, what you are doing is worth it, even though it is difficult now.:hug:

As far as the leave. My employer went to a policy of you could take one sick day. On the second sick day you were required to have a Dr. note. On the 3rd day, you were required to file for a FMLA leave.
Their FMLA packet consisted of many pages and was very time consuming for the physician. Also, very irritating to have to fill it out, over and over--instead of the one time a year that used to be required.

I feel your pain.

However, you are entitled to FMLA leave. You might end up protecting yourself by taking it BECAUSE if they end up firing you for being absent--you will at least be able to file for unemployment.
IF you take unauthorized leave, you won't qualify for anything.

Good luck to you and your daughter. I hope things will look up for you soon.

[elehhhhna]

13. I don't qualify for FMLA. Haven't been here a year. They have mentioned that if I

need to take a leave they are cool w/ that & that they'd want me to come back. They should: I'm really good at this biz. But my boss suggesred last week that I put in more hours - like stay 'til 7 so I can get more done.

[LiberalEsto]

11. Sending you light and blessings

The working world seems to be getting more savage by the minute. I hope things work out for your and your daughter.

[Dappleganger]

15. Positive vibes going your way.

You have certainly had so many worries and now this? I hope this works out for you and your baby gets better soon!

:hug: