ABC's Bachmann Special

[H2O Man]

(ABC) April 7 : The “Find My Family” series will present a two-hour documentary special on Sunday, April 17. The feature, titled “Palm Sunday Special,” focuses on a search conducted on behalf of Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota), to find her family of origin. Bachmann had requested the search in April of 2009, in anticipation for a potential run for national office in 2012.

Rep. Bachmann's birth certificate, from the First General Hospital in Waterloo, Iowa, identifies her as “Michele Marie 'Unknown',” born on April 6, 1956. She was adopted by David and Jean Amble ten days later.

“All I knew for sure was that my 'birth-mother' was a young teenager,” Rep. Bachmann tells “Find My Family.”

The Amble divorced when Michele was a small child. “My father was intent upon aborting me when I was three,” Rep. Bachmann says. “But my mother, a Lutheran, was pro-life. Clearly, my birth-mother was a Christian, too. This is the foundation of my strong family values positions.”

The previously long-sealed court records show that Rep. Bachmann's birth-mother was a sixteen year old named Anita Jane Bryant (dob: 3-25-40). “Find My Family” has found that the teenager, a product of a broken Christian home, had been a “run-away” in the mid-1950s. In an initial interview, Ms. Bryant tells “Find My Family” that she believes that the father of the infant she put up for adoption was a small-time car thief named “Charles.”

To the best of her recollection, his middle name was “Willis,” although she said she was not at liberty to identify his last name. “He was charming …. a performer. He had a hypnotic effect on those of us who followed him,” Bryant said. “This may go a long way in explaining the hypnotized affect that Michele has today.”

Bryant was herself a performer, best known for her two “Top 40 Hits,” the 1961 “I Can't Do It by Myself,” which reached # 87; and 1962's “The World of Lonely People,” which topped the charts at #59. Bryant became the spokesperson for the Florida Citrus Commission in 1969. She also reached infamy as a Christian-Values political spokesperson in the 1970s.

http://www.cbs.findmyfamily.april72011/bryant&bachmann.com

[Taverner]

1. Another person who should have had an abortion

[JustAnotherGen]

5. Bachmann's mother is THE

Anita Bryant? The one who has lodged hatred towards Gays, Lesbians, Transgender people for 30 some-odd years?

[Taverner]

10. I don't think its THAT Anita

Although it would make sense, no?

[JustAnotherGen]

21. hell to the yes!

It would make sense! :rofl:

[Snotcicles]

54. Anita Bryant? Wasn't she like, the mother of all gay haters? nt

[Saturday]

25. The article says it is THAT Anita Bryant. nt

[Taverner]

30. I keep getting a broken link

Sure its not a leftover from the First?

[Adsos Letter]

36. " Bryant became the spokesperson for the Florida Citrus Commission in 1969."

"She also reached infamy as a Christian-Values political spokesperson in the 1970s."

From Wikipedia: "In 1969 she became a spokeswoman for the Florida Citrus Commission, and nationally televised commercials featured her singing "Come to the Florida Sunshine Tree" and stating the commercials' tagline: "Breakfast without orange juice is like a day without sunshine."

LINK: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anita_Bryant

Sounds like the same one to me.

[sharp_stick]

2. I bet they find out it's a

fucking jackal, just like in the Omen. Only the dude with the pitchfork fooled all the xtians and made it a girl.

[Solomon]

34. LOL

Thanks for the hearty chuckle!

[liberal N proud]

3. They might find out her real parents are a pair of loons

[Kceres]

9. Please don't insult such beautiful birds. n/t

[tomm2thumbs]

17. !

bwahahahaha

[Chorophyll]

4. "My father was intent upon aborting me when I was three." Um, what?

Seriously. What?

[jillan]

43. I know! What is she talking about??

[Chorophyll]

52. Turns out this is a parody.

A wicked-accurate one. We wuz had! :)

[cali]

6. you almost had me

:rofl:

[Chorophyll]

14. Oh. He did have me. Derrrrr.

Remarkably lifelike! :rofl:

[H2O Man]

19. I added one line

to clear up any possible confusion.

[spooky3]

7. link doesn't work for me

[lumberjack_jeff]

8. lol... wut?

April 1 was a few days ago!


Michelle Bachmann is the illegitimate child of a car thief and Anita Bryant? Adopted by someone who wanted to abort her at age three?

[H2O Man]

22. The most infamous

young car thief of that era with the first name "Charles" and middle-name "Willis" has the last name "Manson."

[lumberjack_jeff]

37. The middle name is "Milles"

:thumbsup:

[H2O Man]

40. Charlie changed

his middle name to "Willis." But yes, in originally was "Milles."

[gratuitous]

24. The car thief was "Charles Willis" as in Manson?

Yeah, this is a legitimate story. But for all that, it is artfully crafted.

[H2O Man]

29. Well, it WOULD

explain that hypnotized affect that Chris Matthews so frequently comments on.

[Buns_of_Fire]

74. Yep, it's those eyes. Like something out of Edgar Allen Poe...

Are we sure this is a parody?

[Frustratedlady]

27. I'm sitting here with a furrowed brow on that one, too, buy hey,

we're talking about Michelle Bachman here. Ehen you realize that, the statement takes on a new meaning.

I may have to go see her at one of her "performances" just for the comedy of it all.

[Democrats_win]

11. Despite this, Lutherans are good people. They have pot-luck dinners!

Without Lutherans, who would Garrison Keillor talk about? Luckily, we have someone like Bachmann to insure that everyone else's children in Lake Woebegone are above average.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

78. Bachmann isn't a regular Lutheran.

She's a member of a fringe denomination, the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod (WELS) which is just as batshit crazy fundie as any speaking-in-tongues snake handler from Alabama. They are anti-gay, creationist, sexist (women are not allowed to be pastors or vote in their congregations).

[Rex]

12. If there really is an Allah...let her real parents be Muslims!!!

"Clearly, my birth-mother was a Christian, too."

It would be such sweet irony.

[sufrommich]

13. Her birth mother was Anita Bryant?!? nt

[City Lights]

15. Dumb as a box of rocks and appalling that the corporate media is constantly

shoving her in our faces.

BACK OFF, corporate hoooore media!

[cali]

20. it's a joke. a good one.

[H2O Man]

26. Agree & disagree.

It is a joke. It's kind of funny, I suppose.

[cali]

39. it's funny.

really well done.

[City Lights]

49. It's funny in a sad sort of way.

For her. She really is as dumb as a box of rocks, so everything she is quoted as saying is believable. At least at first. ;-)

[valerief]

16. I actually believed this at first!!!

:rofl:

[H2O Man]

44. I almost did,

while I was writing it. But then I realized it couldn't really be true.

[Adsos Letter]

50. AUUUGGGHHHH........!!!!!

Fooled again...

[hifiguy]

56. Me too. This is a MASTERFUL hoax

I was going :wtf: while reading it because it was so believable. Which is frightening in and of itself.

I was royally had. :rofl:

[H2O Man]

57. Well, I did invest

a good ten minutes in writing it. I did an 'interview" with sean Hannity a year ago, that I thought was an obvious giggle. I came back a day later, and a few people were upset with me for not including a "sarcasm" tag. I've never used an tag etc on this forum. But I do include at least one line that should serve as a glaring red flag.

[ecstatic]

64. Damn. The problem with all the satirical posts around here lately

is that they are totally believable.

[valerief]

75. Like Poe's Law. nt

[Zorra]

18. Ownership certainly has it's privileges. Nothing like a free 2 hr. national campaign ad

to seriously boost a candidates recognizability factor among potential voters.

[Rex]

23. I wonder what Micky Mouse and Donald Duck think about MB?

'Holyshit kids...here comes a true toon ha ha.'

[alsame]

28. Well done! I hope they do

Newt Gingrich next :rofl:

[H2O Man]

32. I may do that next.

There are a number of possibilities with that one.

[Octafish]

31. There was a Charles Willis Conger from around there...

... Perhaps someone more versed in genealogy can help us understand Ms. Bachmann:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:TPBmCckCLDoJ:dianesisler.com/sisler-p/p35.htm+charles+willis+waterloo+iowa&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&source=www.google.com

[H2O Man]

35. I suspect

the author of the article intended it to be understood as "Charles Willis Manson," to explain that hypnotized affect of Bachmann's.

[Octafish]

60. Perhaps they are related.

I was going to post a picture of a side-by-side comparison of Ms. Bachmann and Bat Boy, but realized I'd be casting what could be interpreted as an aspersion on people who were adopted. Not to excuse her animosity toward everyone but the rich white people she exclusively serves, but Ms. Bachmann's lack of compassion may be due to her first emotions in this life included the feeling of abandonment. Lack of love then does not excuse her ignorance and bigotry today, however. That she has acquired on her own.

EDIT: A lot.

[H2O Man]

62. She is the

poster child of the "birthers." I think it is appropriate to question her birth certificate. The concerns raised in the OP are as serious as the birthers'.

[lumberjack_jeff]

33. The offspring of Anita Bryant and Charlie Manson?!

:rofl:

Hysterical! Well done H2O man!

[H2O Man]

38. Thanks.

Re-injured in a recent fall. Those pain-killers provided the inspiration.

[Me.]

41. This Is One Of The Weirdest Stories I Have Ever Read

The hate-monger Anita Bryant is her mother? Aborted at 3? Did she mean three months? I also think this explains a lot about Bachmann and btw aren't some mental disorders genetic?

You know, we are seeing two giant rw sweethearts about to fade into obscurity, Palin and Beck, and my thinking is that Bachmann is peaking and will follow them. Too much kleig light on these people is never in their best interest.

[H2O Man]

42. You should know me

well enough to understand the source of this news story.

[EstimatedProphet]

45. I'm sorry, this cannot be real.

Really? Anita Bryant had a baby with a car-jacker who grew up to be Michelle Bachmann?

COME ON!

[H2O Man]

46. It may be

even truer than real, though it is not real.

[EstimatedProphet]

51. OK, "real" as in factual, not "real" as in how she behaves.

I'll grant you it should be real. And I'll grant you that philosophically she is the bastard child of a fundie wackjob and a mass murderer...

[Me.]

47. You Are A Bad, Bad Man...You Need More Time In The Sweat Lodge

Or mayne not

Too entirely possible.

[H2O Man]

48. Thank you!

I still think that it might be true. And, considering that Bachmann questions President Obama's birth, I feel entirely justified in questioning her's.

[Me.]

58. Let's Hope It Goes Viral

[Myrina]

53. OMG, unwed teenage sex!

And is it any surprise that crazy nutty coo-coo-phobe Anita Bryant is her mother?

[hifiguy]

55. If space lizards do not turn up in her family tree

I for one call bullshit.

[Kadie]

59. .

:rofl:

Very, very, good.

[Doctor_J]

61. Here is a long lost member

[ecstatic]

63. Are they sure her mom isn't from Nigeria?

It's amazing to me that she could be a birther yet her own origin is unknown/speculation. WTF indeed.

[guitar man]

65. Here's her father

:silly:

[Orsino]

66. They're going to have to whore pretty hard to make Bachmann into a sympathetic figure.

I guess this is probably the best way to do that.

[Maraya1969]

67. I would love it if her mother were a very out buch lesbian.

That would be the best TV is years!

[rosesaylavee]

68. Wonderfully wicked and believable!

:rofl:

You had me going and thinking 'well that just makes so much sense'!

[H2O Man]

69. As i've noted.

the article had me fooled, while I was writing it. I'm still unsure if it is fact or fiction.

[rosesaylavee]

70. This reminds me of how DU

used to be... we as a group have certainly become very serious, haven't we?

On a personal note, how did the school board thing work out?

[H2O Man]

71. There are two seats

open. I am the only candidate to already turn in my paperwork. I'm not sure if both of the other two (already seated) are planning to run for another term. There is a little over two weeks left for people to file.

Although I reside in an area in upstate NY that is heavily republican, I think that I stand a good chance of winning, no matter who else runs. People are concerned about a number of issues, and I think many put the good of the school before party identification. And, at risk of sounding fat-headed, I think that I am respected in the local community.

[rosesaylavee]

73. We just had

elections here this past Tuesday... I thought you would have had them too. I am sure your head is not half as fat as the next guy in your district. They will be lucky to have you - thinking individuals are a rarity everywhere.

[Life Long Liberal]

72. LOL....fooled me a little!

[H2O Man]

76. It could

be true. Kind of.

[MilesColtrane]

77. "A day without Helter Skelter is like a day without sunshine!"

[H2O Man]

79. I believe that photo

graced the cover of LIFE magazine during the Tate-Lobianco trials.

[JonLP24]

80. Ha!

I remember your Hannity joke about a year ago. That fooled me but when I noticed the broken link, it had to be the same. Plus the Bryant question confirmed it for me.

Bookmarked. K&R.