HELL as EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

[bobburgster]

Hope this is not a repeat....I thought it was great, and thought I would share it.


The following is an actual question on an University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell , and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate as given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God , Oh My GOD! '


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

[DaDeacon]

1. That was funny

Clever, and very acute observations.

[Obamanaut]

2. It's been around awhile - link ->

<snip>Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." <more at link> http://www.pinetree.net/humor/thermodynamics.html

[a la izquierda]

4. +1 for the OU professor and student.

I'm about to graduate from Oklahoma, a really fine school.

[barbtries]

7. congratulations

[a la izquierda]

16. Thanks

it's been a long time coming, but I'm getting used to having no work to do now that my dissertation is done ;)

[nebenaube]

10. I remember it from chem class in '84... n/t

[Demeter]

3. Always worth a reread

Thanks for the post. This version is better than the one I saw last tiem.

[liberal N proud]

5. Good for a little laugh

[barbtries]

6. that's too funny

i had to share it with some people at work.

[lunatica]

8. That was funny as Hell!

But how can something that doesn't exist anymore be funny as Hell?????

Oh fuck!

[pnwmom]

9. Sadly, Snopes has discredited this. No student wrote something this funny

as part of an exam. The original piece was actually written in about 1920 by a scientist named Paul Darwin Foote.

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

[yodermon]

12. DAMN YOU TO HELL, SNOPES!!!

[Obamanaut]

14. Awesome! I didn't think to look in Snopes!

:blush:

[pnwmom]

15. The fact that one source said it was a University of Washington prof

and another University of Iowa was my first tip-off. And the ending was just too perfect. Someone had spent a lot of time perfecting it.

[malaise]

11. As funny and profound as

it was the first time I read it. :D

[xchrom]

13. Awesome. nt