CONTEST: This is not intended to be a factual statement!

[L. Coyote]

O.K., give it your best shot!! And be sure to append
"This is not intended to be a factual statement!" :rofl:

Mine:

Quitter-Governor Sarah Palin and Congresswoman Michele Bachmann are secret lovers (not any more). This is not intended to be a factual statement!


=======
For those who slept in since day before yesterday:

http://www.colbertnation.com/ Colbert Report: 4/12/11

Or, check this out:

Stephen Colbert’s Twitter Meme Holds Politician Accountable
http://blogs.forbes.com/christianwolan/2011/04/13/stephen-colberts-twitter-meme-holds-politicians-accountable/

Jon Kyl's Planned Parenthood Spending Breakdown (CHART)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/13/jon-kyl-planned-parenthood_n_848656.html

NOTE: This is not intended to be a factual chart :rofl:

[OutNow]

1. I am not a crook

"People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got." This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Richard Nixon - November 1973

[FrenchieCat]

2. This was not intended to be a factual statement!

Mission Accomplished! - George Bush, May 2003

[XemaSab]

3. Newt Gingrich goes to sex parties

dressed in a giant furry hamster costume... a FEMALE giant furry hamster costume.

[verges]

15. I thought these weren't supposed to b true? nt

[L. Coyote]

19. I considered have an actual quotes sub-thread.

"I am not a crook" is truly the classic political statement epitomizing the Republican Party and politics generally in that era.

[BeFree]

26. I hate this: Republicans

"They are not a crook"

[anarch]

4. The following sentence is intended to be a factual statement:

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[ZombieHorde]

58. Cool name, cool sig, cool avatar. Your reply is just OK. nt

[upi402]

5. Senator Kyle's prostitutes

are 90% real, 10% Milk Maiden!

woohoo

[franzia99]

13. Ah, so those are the first cousins he's been sleeping with. Not intended to be a factual statement.

[defendandprotect]

6. There's a 90% chance that Sen. Jon Kyl has had an illegal abortion --

"This is not intended to be a factual statement!"

[Maine-ah]

23. statement from Jon Kyl's Mother

"I should have swallowed" - Arlene Kyl

[lutherj]

7. In other words, I'm a liar, I'm lying to you right now, ignorant american peeps!*

*This is not intended to be a factual statement. But it is. (Not.)

[Contrary1]

8. Jon Kyl graduated from The Larry Craig School Of Wide Stances

#Not intended to be a factual statement

[LooseWilly]

9. Donald Trump is only raising the birther claims about Obama because...

he's convinced that people who are actually from Africa can't exercise rights as US citizens until they've signed a waiver for any potential future claims on acres or mules—a record which Trump's lawyers have not only billed him for the search for in Obama's case, but also billed him for in thousands of other cases in which Trump's lawyers advised him that the search would be a useful legal safety measure.

#Obviously, the above is not intended to be a factual statement.

Trump is obviously bringing up the birther issue because he can't find anything that Obama has REALLY done that the rich asshole financier class, and Republicans in general, can complain about—hence, he has to make shit up.

[Liberty Belle]

10. "I support compassionate conservatism."

There is of course no such thing; today's conservatives are heartless, ruthless bastards.

[eShirl]

11. Ronald Reagan.

[franzia99]

12. lol

[Deep13]

14. Jon Kyl supports the use of coal not so much for energy independence, but...

...because he longs for the days when children would work in the mines for 18 hours a day.

[Deep13]

16. Ohio Gov. John Kasick's favorite meal is poached baby...

...with a side of pickled kitten.

This is absolutely true.

The last two sentences are not intended to be factual statements.

[Deep13]

17. And while I'm on the subject of eating, Michelle Bachman can swallow a whole cow...

...by unhinging her jaws and enveloping it like a big snake.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[KittyWampus]

18. Saddam Hussein attacked us on Sept 11th.

*not intended to be a factual statement*

[Deep13]

21. Oh come on, the statement has to at least be plausible.

:evilgrin:

[Deep13]

20. Mass. Congressman Barney Frank is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ...

...and will soon begin his thousand year reign.

I guess it's not necessary to disclaim any factuality when making a religious pronouncement.

[Deep13]

22. Duh!nald Trump's hair is actually made from a baby harp seal that he personally clubbed to death.

This is not intended to be a factual statement, although it would not surprise me if it were true.

[Capitalocracy]

49. No, that would count as doing actual work. nt

[Yavapai]

61. You are onto something here!

Duh!nald Gump, has such a ring to it...

[BillStein]

24. the pie chart left out the 27.5%

they spend on indoctrinating christian youth into the gay lifestyle

*edited for clarity

[Deep13]

25. *wrong place*

[L. Coyote]

35. 72% of statistics are made up!

[Erose999]

27. Donald Trup's "hair" is actually the scalp of former Rolling Stone Brian Jones, worn by Trump

as a wig. Apparently Trump won Jones' scalp when Jones racked up a massive gambling death at Trump's casinos, and Trump's mob associates scalped Jones and staged his death with a body double to look like an accident.





Not intended to be a factual statement.

[Deep13]

28. The real reason Obama will not release his birth certificate is out of modesty...

...because the actual document reads "Barrack Hussein Obama, 44th President of the United States."

Spooky, huh?

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[L. Coyote]

29. FOX: ... no need for Planned Parenthood when women can get a Pap smear and breast exam at Walgreens.

Pap Smears at Walgreens
There's no need for Planned Parenthood when women can get a Pap smear and breast exam at Walgreens.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/381282/april-11-2011/pap-smears-at-walgreens

[Deep13]

33. Right, that's why Walgreens has a drive-through. nt

[L. Coyote]

43. Just pull down your top and don't stop

:rofl: Stop at the Photo booth later! :rofl:

[Yavapai]

62. my new occupational goal,

freelance gynecologist at Walgreen's drive through (you want fries with that?)

[rdking647]

30. kyl and vitter

john kyl and david vitter shared the same diapers when visiting the same dominatrix*

* this is not intended to be a factual statement

[NorthCarolina]

31. "Any plan I sign must include a public option." Barack Obama 7/17/09

This pledge to America was not intended to be a factual statement!

[defendandprotect]

44. +1000% --- WINNER!!

[Poboy]

46. Ohhh, BURN! We have a winner right here.

[Deep13]

32. At any given moment Sen. James Inhofe has between six and eight live rodents in his ass.

This is not intended to be a factual statement, although you never know with these holy roller freaks.

[deacon]

34. 98% of the people on Wall Street are honest. n/t

[Deep13]

36. Mitt Romney uses poor people as skis.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[Deep13]

37. Glenn Beck is actually a giant maggot in a suit and tie.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[Deep13]

38. John Boehner's blood is 80% cheap Scotch and 20% really good Scotch.

Of course, this is not intended to be a factual statement.

[zbdent]

39. Everything I say is a lie ...

[upi402]

40. Republicans assume it's a 'given'... that everyone knows...

that everything coming out their noise hole also functions as fertilizers.

[zbdent]

45. damn ... a play on a classic Star Trek reference

goes unnoticed ...

[NewJeffCT]

52. Classic Harry Mudd

I remember that one.

[Johonny]

41. Jesus intentionally lied about rich people and heaven to get a tax cut

[blondeatlast]

42. "Herman's Hermits were the REAL birth of the British Invasion.

This is not intended to be a factual statement!"

[alfredo]

47. Mitch McConnell drinks the blood of aborted fetuses.

[louslobbs]

48. 90% of Sarah Palin's 10 past pregnancies, were ended by secret abortions.

8 of these pregnancies were not fathered by Todd Palin.

This is not intended to be a factual statement!

[jillan]

50. There was no evidence of fraud in the recent election in Wisconsin.

[spanone]

51. are there no consequences for blatantly LYING on the senate floor?

[treestar]

53. I love that pie chart!

:rofl:

[L. Coyote]

56. Do we need a sub-thread for Jon Kyl pie charts too?

Pie chart of Jon Kyl's veracity:

More than 90% of statements not intended to be factual.
About 5% of statements intended to throw staff under the bus.
About 3% of statements intended to cover-up statements that were not factual using that tired-old-horse claim about having misspoken.
About 2% of statements not intended at all.

[treestar]

59. Haha!

:rofl:

Maybe someone who is good at that stuff can make a pie out of that!

[L. Coyote]

60. I'll get right on it.

Back before edit expires

[Sky Masterson]

54. Mitch McConnell once worked as a model for an art school

and was the main inspiration for both Tippy and also Tubby.

[arrestblankfein]

55. Kathy Nickolaus: Ballots Not Intended To Be A Factual Statement in Wisconsin Election 2006

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x896324

[IDemo]

57. "I'm a uniter"

[Yavapai]

63. The first checks from Iraq's oil money to reimburse the USA for the war is in the mail.

"This is not intended to be a factual statement!"

[L. Coyote]

64. Which city in Texas is it postmarked from?

This is intended to be a factual question!