Married and gay...a TOTAL tax nightmare!! We had to do EIGHT sets of taxes

[Snoutport]

Wanna know the worst of being a married gay couple? It is the taxes.

Our taxes last year cost us a fortune because we made the mistake of using H&R Block. These are the requirements to file taxes:
1. Partner A has to do a single federal tax form. (Paid H&R Block for federal)
2. Partner B has to do a single federal tax form. (Paid H&R for federal)
3. Partner A has to do a joint married tax form and write "As If" on the top of it. (Paid H&R Block for federal and state)
4. Partner B has to do a joint married tax form and write "As If" on the top of it. (Paid H&R Blcok for federal and state)

5. Partner A has to do state taxes as married filing jointly based on the "As If" tax form.
6 Partner B has to do state taxes as married filing jointly based on the "As If" tax form.

Then, in order to get one of the credits you have to show that married filing separate is not giving you a bigger refund (?) so we both had to do:

7. Partner A has to do state taxes as married filing separate based on the fake "As If" form.
8. Partner B has to do state taxes as married filing separate based on the fake "As If" form.

After all that we sent in our taxes...and got bills back from both federal and state. We owed $400 more on federal and $250 more on state taxes. And then we got a notice that since we are not married at the federal level, we had to pay taxes on the benefits we get through each other's work (that married folks don't have to pay).

H&R Block says they will refund the costs of the "AS IF" forms...but we are still waiting for the refund for that from 2009...

So, next time you want to complain about doing your taxes... just remember, it could be worse!!

(edit: I changed the seven to eight...and fixed my numbering...I'd left off a form!)

[Dappleganger]

1. That really sucks.

:(

[Snoutport]

2. It took most of a day! very sucky!!

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

3. I've always joked that I support gay marriage because they are entitled to be as miserable

as the rest of us. Not more but "just as". I didn't think that people would have to jump through all these hoops for something that should not be that damn complicated. That's just bullshit.

[Snoutport]

5. Oh...it gets worse sometimes! Our dental insurance is making me wait a full year

before I can go to the dentist to have a cavity filled since we aren't "married" in the federal sense of things!

I am a teacher, my partner works at a University. To save the state money I went on his insurance instead ofmy insurance (both kaiser, both the state worker program--by going on to his insurance it means less paperwork, etc. for the state) WELL...we then get a letter saying since I was new to his insurance I would not be able to use the dental service for a year (aside from one cleaning) even though I was still on the SAME EXACT STATE PROGRAM. The reason I had to wait a year? We weren't "married". If we were "married" (federal definition) I could have started up with dental immediately. So, I broke two teeth and have to wait another 5 months to go to the dentist.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

7. I'm sorry. As I said below I really hope my gay brothers and sisters won't have to put up with

this nonsense for much longer. As usual the people seem to be ahead of the politicians on this one.

[BlueIris]

19. That is so fucking awful.

I'm sorry you have to go through that. Awful.

[Snoutport]

20. It's my teeth you should feel sorry for!

I'm happy and married and life is good...except for doing taxes and going to the dentist. :0)

[William769]

4. I hope you don't have to experience this for a long time but wait till death.

When my life partner died five years ago, I almost lost our house to his brother because their relationship is recognized and ours is not. The money I spent on lawyers wiped out my life savings to save what was mine to begin with.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

6. This is of no consolation to you but hopefully others won't have to put up

with this for much longer.

[Snoutport]

8. :0( I'm really sorry to hear that!! YOU are the reason DOMA must be killed.

I am really sorry to hear your story. It is worthy of its own post.

And I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope it hasn't been too hard a road to travel.

[William769]

9. Thank you.

It's been very hard road but due to great friends is less bumpier.

[Snoutport]

12. In the early 80s

When AIDS first hit, a friend of my cousin's was barred from visiting his partner in the hospital by the partner's super religious family. When he passed the family swooped in and demanded everything in the house. He tried fighting in court but unless he has a rcpt he pretty much lost everything.

I grew up seeing that stuff happen so, my wedding present to my partner was lots and lots of life insurance. At least I know that if something happens to me he will not be left fighting the system for the leftovers...he'll have enough to start over.

Soon, I hope, we won't have to think about this sort of stuff. My best to you.

[Exultant Democracy]

10. Sorry about your situation, but thank you so much for the post. Very enlightening.

[SheilaT]

11. I'm slightly confused.

You "had to" file all those extra returns? Does your state recognize your marriage? I can see where the federal government requires you to file separately, since your marriage is not recognized at that level.

Also, your numbering is off. Two number 4's. So I'm even more confused.

It's no consolation to you that there is no perfect way that married filing jointly, married filing separately, or two people who live together but aren't married to each other, will all result in the same tax bill.

I'm old enough to recall when there was some kind of a tweak in the rates and married couples, depending on who earned how much, now paid more taxes than a single person at the same income. Married people got very upset about it. I was single at the time.

[Snoutport]

13. HOLY COW! I guess we did 8 tax forms!

I didn't see that I messed up my numbering system! So much for my organizational skills!

You don't have to file all those forms--you just have to do them. Since we are married on the state level we have to have a federal tax form as a married couple to base our state taxes on...but we actually have to file the federal forms as single. So, the state requires an "As If" tax form from each of us--that we have to send in with our taxes on the state level and the fed requires two different single filings.

The numbers/amounts did end up being the same...but we still had to have the paper copies to prove it.

We were so confused that's why we went with H&R block...but they weren't really set up very well to deal with it either.

[SheilaT]

21. When I was married

-- and I've been divorced and filing separately for three years now -- I don't recall going through all that. Now, I'm a woman who happened to marry a man, so maybe that was the difference.

I do recall one time when we moved to another state we had to file some inordinate number of forms, but again, we weren't being disallowed our marriage anywhere.

I do sort of enjoy the joke about of course gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry, why shouldn't they share in the misery? Except that it is a very, very important issue and I'm sure the day will come, hopefully sooner than later.

[Snoutport]

22. :0) but what if I'm super happy?

I TOTALLY do appreciate that things have come a long ways since I was in high school. Lots of social change and I am very greatful that my partner and I have some legal grounds to share our house and to make sure we don't lose it if something happens to one of us. So, for those things, thank you!!!

Taxes just suck as it is.... it would be nice if that was easier.

[jwirr]

14. This should be contested. Married is married. You should be treated

no different than any other couple.

[Snoutport]

15. Oddly enough, we were VERY excited to do our taxes together...

the first year. We felt so like we'd come a LOOOOOOOOONG way. This year we were just miserable since it was such a hassle. The worst part was finding out the extra tax bill for the benefits since we weren't "married". That was an added tax expense we didn't expect.

[Zorra]

16. How long is this nonsense going to go on?

How long until every American citizen is equal in the eyes of the law?

It's so fucking stupid and unfair.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that, for no reason except that you are a victim of bigotry and discrimination.

Enough already, huh?
:grr:

[CreekDog]

17. can you deduct the money you spent on classroom food?

:shrug:

[Snoutport]

18. Some-teachers can take off $250 if they have receipts. I spent over $1000 last year

I try to budget myself to $100 a month. This year has been much better. I was a finalist for teacher of the year and my class got $250 bucks as prize money. That really helped!

[BeeBee]

23. Hmmm. Here i n California, we only had to file 3...

which was one too many, in my opinion.

1-My Federal
2-My Husband's Federal
3-Our (joint) state

I'm not sure what the "AS IF" forms are...

What really messed us up this year is that, because California is a joint property state, we had to combine our income then cut it in half and each file with the same amount of income for federal... in the end, it worked out, but it could have cause a huge hardship on us.

My husband makes quite a bit more money that me so he got a large refund...but I had to pay a huge amount. Luckily his refund came in just before the deadline so we used that money to pay mine. We have looked at adjusting our withholding to compensate but I can't withhold enough (it would be about 1/4 of my pay) and he can't claim enough deductions to bring his down far enough to make up the difference.

Argh.

[Snoutport]

24. We only filed three :0) but needed the numbers off the "As If" forms so had to fill out the other

forms.

The last set we had to do singly to see if we qualified for more taxes back so for state we both had to do state single and state married.