What Texas secession would look like--hilarious!

[Rozlee]

I live in Boerne, Texas, a bedroom community north of San Antonio which boasts an 87% Republican demographic.
There's this one nimrod that drives around town in an F-150 with an extended cab and a couple of bumper stickers: SECEDE and one for Chuck Norris for President of the Republic of Texas and a 1-800 number to call. He's your typical teabagger thug-looking type; overweight, 60s, swaggering; cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. I don't know what kind of seat he sits on in his truck. He jounces up and down on it when he's driving something fierce. Is there such a thing as Shaken Teabagger Syndrome?
OK, I can't help thinking; let Texas secede already. I always wanted us to move to Maine anyway.
First, correct me if I'm wrong, but once you split off from a nation, don't you also lose access to it's currency as a form of exchange? I mean, this isn't the 19th century when the original secessionist movement took place and states were able to break away and have their own treasuries. We live in a global economy now whose nations are interdependent on each other to keep their currencies stable. In my mind's eye, I see Perry and Chuck Norris raising the Republic of Texas flag over Austin and then looking around, only to see Skank of America and Shitty Bank rolling up their carpets and hightailing it out of the state, or at least raising their rates on loans to the state so high that any borrowing would be prohibitive. Down the line, many businesses might also decide to close their doors, feeling that the young nation was too risky to keep investments in and that they might be better served returning at a more stable economic period. Adios Walfart, Burger King, et. ali. The teabaggers will miss you. Especially you, Burger King. What this means is that the new Republic would probably have to swallow their pride and approach that most hated of institutions for national financial assistance: the International Monetary Fund. With pressure from the U.S., the IMF would probably demur and refuse to help.

We still have cattle and oil! That seems to be the mantra of the Texas secessionists. Sure you do. Venezuela has plenty of beef, too, as does Mexico, Korea and so many other nations. We live in a free trade world now, remember? Besides, if Texans wanted to sell their beef in any international markets, they'd have to pay the U.S. to use their transportation lines and a piqued U.S. would probably tell them: "Uh...no." As for that oil, most of Texas' oil is off-shore. Again, they'd need permission to use U.S. transportation lines to sell to customers overseas. The U.S. would be collectively filing it's nails and dismissively telling them, "Sell it to Hugo Chavez."

Then, there would be the obvious federal bennies like Social Security, Medicare, education and disaster relief. I can imagine how those fat, old secessionists would feel if they didn't have Medicare money to pay for their Hoverounds when the ones they had needed to be replaced. Not to mention that the minute the majority of Texans saw that they had to keep their brats at home to home school them, they'd doubtlessly go crying back to Uncle. The only recourse they'd have to live the good life they never realized they had as U.S. citizens would be to assess and raise taxes, assuming they ever got their hands on transactionable funds again.

National security would be a problem. Texans love thinking they're all bad ass. But, drug lords are pretty bad ass, too. Mexico might like taking it's former possession back for shits and grins. The space aliens flying around in Marfa, the UFO capital of the world, might salivate seeing nice, fat teabagger happy meals just theirs for the taking. And sooner or later, they'd run out of ammo. The majority of the ammo factories and metal refineries to make ammo are in the U.S.

Mas triste. But, oh, well. Go ahead. The rest of the country will probably be only too glad to pack your bags. If only to eat popcorn and watch the fun.

[ejpoeta]

1. well, aren't they now asking the feds for money and help with wildfires?

just forget all the rest, just imagine the first hurricane to hit the coast. i have thought if they want to secede then go ahead.... we'll just keep our taxes they get more of than they pay in and give them to someone friggin else. just feel bad for the ones that aren't advocating this but i suppose they could move somewhere else. it's just tough to walk away like that.

[Ian David]

2. We'd probably stand by and watch as Mexico reclaimed Texas by force. n/t

[former9thward]

4. I think if they tried it would end up like the last time.

Not so good on Mexico's part. Their army is next to worthless.

[aquart]

23. Force? I was thinking we could maybe pay them to take it.

And I'm sure they'd like Florida, too. Well, who wouldn't?

[Turbineguy]

3. And even if they seceded

they would still a NASA and all those military bases.

Oh, wait.

[Initech]

5. They'd last maybe a month before they came crawling back.

[Erose999]

6. If Texas secedes, doesn't it revert back to Mexico? There might be a clause about that in some

treaty somewhere. Or we could give it back the the Native Americans.

[Xithras]

14. No.

Texas, California, Vermont, and Hawai'i are the only four U.S. states that were independent nations before joining the United States. In theory, if Texas left the Union, they would revert to their previous status as an independent country.

[GoCubsGo]

30. Haven't the Native Americans suffered enough?

[XemaSab]

7. Boerne, Texas?

Holy shit, that place is ground zero for crazy fundies. :o

Any stories? :popcorn:

[Rozlee]

9. The birther guy with the crazy billboard signs on Ralph Fair Road.

*sigh* It's hard being one of the few liberals in Batshit Crazy country.

[XemaSab]

11. That's not who I'm talking about

I'm talking about the "people with 15 kids living in a one-bedroom trailer for Jesus" types.

[Rozlee]

13. Naw, you're thinking a few miles up in Medina.

Everyone in Boerne's old, old, old. And they live in McMansions by themselves and their kids never come to visit.

[Zen Democrat]

16. Boerne? I have fundie relatives in Boerne. I had to stop talking to them years ago.

Texas is a great state and about 45% of the people are terrific. It won't be long before 51% are terrific - and then the tables turn.

But as to the question about reverting to Mexico and any extant treaties ....

Texas won independence from Mexico in 1836 at the Battle of San Jacinto. It became the Republic of Texas and Sam Houston was the first President of Texas. Texas became a state in 1845, and Sam Houston was the first US Senator from Texas. Later, he served as governor of Texas, but he resigned over secession and refused to swear loyalty to the Confederacy.

He was quite a man -- an adopted Cherokee, the Raven, he spoke the Cherokee language fluently - and he was the only man ever elected governor of two states - Tennessee and Texas.

But Boerne ... that place is right-wing religious nutjob headquarters.

[Rozlee]

22. 78% of Texans polled don't want sucession.

But, it seems to me that almost everyone in Boerne is among the 22% who do. We wanted a nice home in the Hill Country when we brought our place here, but we didn't think to check on the political demographics. Because, really, who does?

[hamsterjill]

8. Hungry Horse

My favorite restaurant!!! Worth the drive up from SA.

[Rozlee]

10. The only thing I'd miss if I moved to Maine if Texas seceded.

Now that the new Earl Abel's isn't what the old one used to be.

[hamsterjill]

37. Been going since it was located on Wurzbach Road in San Antonio back in the '80's!

Best Chicken Friend Steak in the world!!! I'll have to ask if there are any Democrats in the room when I'm up there next! Maybe you and I can say hello!

[Rozlee]

38. Ask if there are any Democrats in the room in a town that's 87% Republican?!!

Girl, someone's gonna get a rope. That's OK, though. They might not hear you. Everybody over there is so old, their ears are probably still ringing from the Big Bang.

[hamsterjill]

41. Hey, watch it!!! I'm one of the oldies, too!! LOL

But I always did like to live on the edge!!! LOL Think they'll take my money for my order and THEN get the rope??? LOL

Seriously, though, I LOVE the food there. I sneak up there every chance I get.

[Rozlee]

42. **

:thumbsup:

[nadinbrzezinski]

12. mexico don't want texas back either

walls all around

[aquart]

24. Not even if we paid them?

They'd get the Alamo back.

[a la izquierda]

26. For real.

Mexico has enough problems without the yahoo Texans who support succession.

[brooklynite]

15. Sorry, but there's already a "President of the Republic of Texas"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_Texas_%28group%29

Strangely enough, they didn't seem big on democratic procedures to select him...

[Vincardog]

17. TX might miss the Navy the Air-force and NASA. I doubt the USA would want to continue sending them

money it the Republic of Texas.

[Obamanaut]

32. The money would be in the form of foreign aid. nt

[Zorra]

18. Let them secede, by all means. I'll even donate toward secession. nt

[loudsue]

19. I would only hope they would take South Carolina with them.

Those are two states that we could do without.

[Cascadian]

20. Texas has always been an excuse away from seceding.

I suppose if they want to, then let them. I sometimes tend to think Lincoln made a huge mistake in keeping the South in the Union during the Civil War. He should have just turned towards the south half of the Potomac and gave them the middle finger. We probably wouldn't of had half the problems we have now.



John

[Cleita]

21. I spent three winters in Boerne. It's a cute little town, but

I'm not surprised at what you said. I always found the locals to be unique. :eyes:

[kentauros]

25. You know, it's sad when DU pounces on Texas

every time some stupid bagger opens its mouth on this subject, and the response is an overwhelming "Yeah, go ahead and secede! Good riddance!"

Do y'all really hate all of us Texans that much? Do any of you ever put yourselves in our place and imagine how you'd feel if the DU-masses came down on your home state every single time some ignoramus opened its mouth and spouted similar idiotic thoughts? Other than Florida, I can't think of any other state in the union that gets ever a fraction of the vitriol lobbed at it like we do. It's almost pathological.

Yes, I'm a Native Texan, been here all my life. I love my state. Can't say I like my current government, but we have had good administrations before. Give us time; we'll change. And if you're too impatient for that, keep it to yourself or in PM-land. Better yet, convert that anger into helping us change things down here. Abandoning us just gets you (and us) more of the same.

[Rozlee]

27. Like I said, only 78% of us Texans want to secede.

And I love my state a great deal too, or rather I have a love-hate relationship with it now because of the people who run it and the gerrymandering they've done to ever keep elections fair. But, I'm pretty disappointed with the rank and file Texan as well. We've done nothing to fight back against the Dark Side. I am heartened a bit. In the younger people, I've seen a surge of progressivism. But, if everyone here, including myself, is hammering at Texas, it's mostly at it's most visible, obnoxious, swaggering, idiotic self-representatives. Texans keep electing jerks whose neanderthal views are staggering in their idiocy. And worse than those who vote them in, are those who don't vote at all. Actually, I would love to see Texas vote for secession. But, I'll make you one guarantee: it would never happen. And the ones who voted for it would be voted out of office in a ground swell. Idiots like that teabagger that go zooming around in his F-150 in Boerne have no idea what secession is all about. If they did, they'd be terrified of it.

[kentauros]

28. I appreciate your response,

much better than some of the others. I was actually addressing those denizens of DU that are firmly of the opinion "Good riddance" to our state any time something comes up like this. Stick around here long enough and you'll see more than you may realize. 'W' ruined our image in the minds of too many DU-ers and I don't think we'll ever win their hearts back. We do have to rely on the young, or at least the open-minded and those willing to forgive.

But Texas will turn blue again, and no amount of gerrymandering will stop what's coming. The Hispanic population here is growing so much that the 'pubs just won't be able to compete against it, no matter what underhandedness they do.

As for us voting for secession, not only won't it happen, but the US wouldn't let it happen. I seem to recall from some of the other threads on this subject that it's against federal law for any state to secede. We'd never see it on the ballot, other than perhaps some tiny municipality sneaking it in, thinking they alone can subvert federal law. Our federal government has too much invested in our state to let them just 'walk away'. We'd probably see US-troops on the ground and off the coast if this ever came up for a vote.

[Rozlee]

29. Exactly why I'd love to see the publicity, the sound and fury behind Texas voting for secession

I remember when those secessionist fools had their rally in Austin over a year ago. I laughed out loud at their photos. They were teabaggers distilled to their thickest paste. Old, obese and obviously living well on Uncle Sam's dime. They have absolutely no idea what they'd lose if Texas seceded. They honestly probably think their Social Security checks would still be deposited, that Medicare would still pay their doctor's bills, that they could walk to their bank and do normal transactions. Their big deal is that they hate the United States federal government. The same government that gives them all the benefits they take for granted. No, Texas would never secede nor could it. But, I would love for some of those idiots in power to try to take it to almost that point; to make all the ones screeching for it to step back and realize what they'd lose; to make them finally know that THE GOVERNMENT isn't something that's just giving out money to the lazy minorities like they always told themselves it was. Yeah, Texas is trending purple already. It wobbled on it during the 08 election. But, the hardliners have it in a stranglehold. My son-in-law is a teacher. And with these numbnuts in power now, he might lose his job. They have 3 children, including my handicapped granddaughter. So, yeah, I hate those bastards. They'll have done a world of hurt, though, before the state goes purple or blue.

[LupinSansei72]

34. My personal opinion and experience

Last summer when I was at Fort Jackson for Army Basic Training, one of my fellow soldiers. And almost each night after our training and action reviews were done, he would literally spend ALL of his personal time debating and practically preaching for Texas to secede. There was another recruit from Texas, he was much more level headed and more importantly he's still a very good friend of mine :-) I use to live in Texas way back in the early 1980s, so I have some roots there. The solution to me ins't for Texas to secede, rather we should get those batshit crazy teabagger types OUT of Texas!

And based on the growing Hispanic population numbers, I dare say it won't be much longer until those old Teabagging Gringos are no longer making the great state of Texas look so bad. :-) Besides, what did Governor Goodhair do when the wildfires kicked p? "Help us President Obama!" :eyes:

[Obamanaut]

31. They would still have access to everything via the generous US foreign aid

program.

The US could lease the property all those military bases are on, pay a bunch of local civilians to work on those bases, give the Texas government a buttload of money and military equipment, etc.

They would be on the dole like so many other countries around the world.

[blogslut]

33. Meh

Every ten or 15 years the Texas secession wurlitzer cranks up and eventually plunks out. The advent of the interweb has simply amplified the same stupid crap that stupid people cling to when they see progress encroaching on their dying, outdated culture.

[hobbit709]

35. Ricky is asking for foreign aid before he's even finished seceding.

[CanonRay]

36. Texas went broke the last time they were independent

they had to sell off all the land owned by the Republic of Texas....that's why there's almost no non-private land in that whole huge state. They'd fuck it up again.

[MadMaddie]

39. Don't forget the Reserve military

and all of the military bases. They belong to the U.S.

[Rochester]

40. Don't let the door hit you on the panhandle on the way out!

[Taverner]

43. You're pretty right, except the part on Burger King

Most fast food industries have NO problem doing business in third-world countries. Granted, they may ask for customers to pay with USDollars, rather than Texan Jesus Coins, or 'Rands' or whatever currency they decide to go with

Another point - after a while, the smart investors would keep accounts in US dollars, not texan currency. This would further devalue their currency. Of course the 'shit-for-brains' sucessionists would just turn on their printing presses, sending the young country into a spiral of hyperinflation that would bring Texas to its knees.

And those IMF loans they would HAVE to take out, they can only be paid back in Euros or USDollars

Yeah, it would be fun to watch, and you'd still be able to get a Whopper