They say that Jesus is coming back---I ask, would he want to?

[trumad]

I say he'd last less than a week before Fox news, Limbaugh and Palin would start jumping his shit.

[mysuzuki2]

1. If Jesus comes back he'll end up being crucified all over again

except this time it will be the "christians" who do it. The fundies will line up for a chance to pound in the first nail.

[BeyondGeography]

2. If he likes hockey and basketball, he might last longer

Playoffs, baby.

[CanSocDem]

3. Not to mention....

...all the "science" fundamentalists...."Jumping his shit" as you say.


.

[Aerows]

28. I'm a science fundamentalist

In some ways. If he turned water into wine with a wave of his hand, I wouldn't "jump his shit". The man offers free medical care, feeds the hungry, and encourages others to care for the poor.

I see nothing wrong with any of those things - but I suspect Conservatives would.

[MineralMan]

4. They'd just lock him up, give him massive doses of Haldol, and that

would be that.

[rucky]

5. He may be in Bellevue as we speak.

[MineralMan]

6. Or any of many other institutions.

In fact, there are many Jesi in such institutions. I don't know how you'd find the real one.

[JohnnyRingo]

7. Doncha know...

He'll come back sporting a new Paul Ryan makeover, bless the union busters, walk down Wall Street handing out money, swing by for a guest spot on Limbaugh's radio show, and condemn the president to hell for being a Kenyan. Then he'll get into his flying saucer and fly back to heaven.

I know what you're thinking, that last part doesn't make sense.
Hahahaha

[RagAss]

14. Brilliant !

:bounce: :bounce:

[demwing]

16. + too many to count /nt

[patrice]

8. When you're a spiritual being & the son of God, and all, how is it that you're not everywhere/when

anyway?

I've always sort of hoped that those references to him coming back really meant some of us would stop lying and pretending about him and, thus, be able to see him amongst us, especially in those who suffer and die for our sins, like the People of Iraq, especially the children, and our troops.

IMO, such a real -ization would require one whole hell of a lot less mumbo jumbo than people might think and certainly less mumbo jumbo than is required to prop up institutionalized religion and its corruptions.

[Buzz Clik]

10. Humans are funny. They tend to change the stories through the generations.

The reality about JC is likely just a sliver of the stories repeated today.

[patrice]

21. Yes, there are patterns & patterns can be authentically significant.

I agree with the Jesus Seminar on this subject and I don't find their perspective contradictory of the basic intent of the gospels.

The Jesus Seminar tries to eliminate all of the stuff that has been added to the Jesus stories for various reasons and, yes, without all of the mumbo-jumbo there isn't much left. The Jesus Seminar ends up with a basic phenomenology that, in a universe of various potentialities still has significant emergent properties, just not necessarily those claimed by the static INSTITUTION known as Christianity.

Personally, I'm not all that interested in the hereafter stuff. I don't find it necessary. We don't know and I don't think Jesus knew. And what we do know about that issue doesn't look "good".

Also to me, ANY kind of quid-pro-quo, e.g. eternal life in exchange for righteousness, . . . any kind of quid pro quo seems the opposite of what people say they are referring to by means of the word "faith" and, though lots of people live just fine with minimal interest in faith, we do not know everything, so at least some small amount of something that amounts at least functionally to faith is necessary.

That's how I decided a long time ago that I agree with Ranier Marie Rilke's epitaph: his poem "Be ahead of all parting . . . ". The last lines are "To all that is used-up, and to all the muffled and dumb creatures of the world's full reserve, the un-sayable sums, joyfully add yourself, and cancel the count." To me, it appears that to be able to do what Rilke describes is freedom and, hence, love. (If you go looking for a translation from Rilke's German, look for Stephen Mitchell's work. There's a lot of Joanna Macy's translations out there and I find Mitchell MUCH less didactic than Macy and much more respectful of the poetic form.)

If you look at works such as Sir J.G. Frazer's The Golden Bough and the stuff that Carl Gustav Jung had to say about archetypes and species memory and acquaint yourself with some of the breadth and depth of Psychology in general (especially Science based Psychology), there's little doubt about where these stories come from. They come from us. And, to me, that knowledge is far more revelatory than almost all of the mumbo-jumbo preaching and holy book quoting in the world, because it means the CONCRETE things, "big" and "small", matter.

These stories come from us and we are part of the multi-/universe; these stories try to tell us something about that great mystery.

There are those who speculate about older forms of cognition that preceded our relatively new and relatively limited emphasis upon rationalism, forms that, just like rationalism, are fraught with their own idiosyncratic potentials for error. It is said that those older forms of understanding manifest themselves in authentic creativity. For me that has taken the form of a preference for poetic models, but the nature of human thought being what it is, i.e. dialectic, my poetic preference operates in symbiosis with rational ways of thinking too and as a dialectic, the whole thing (for any of us) is DYNAMIC.

We do in fact seem to be verbs or events (not nouns), just as Buckminster Fuller said. If you look at the whole story of Jesus over the history of the last 2000+ years, as ONE example of an attempt to articulate something about this profoundly huge and mysterious event in which we participate, it is possible to see some value in it, just not, as I said earlier, necessarily the values that we have been handed by a relatively STATIC (perhaps "dead" ?) phenomenon that we refer to as "church".

[Motown_Johnny]

20. he ascended into heaven. His body.... the corporeal form.... up... to heaven

So it would seem that the fundies are expecting his corporeal form to descend from heaven on 5/21/11.


I am kinda curious if he might be naked. Would his tunic last for ~2000 years?

At least Ashcroft isn't in law enforcement anymore, that could have been embarrassing.

[patrice]

26. Oh darn! I'm busy that day. Can't make it. Will he tour? nt

[Buzz Clik]

9. My guess is he'd go to Fox News first. Do you think he'd announce his arrival at DU?

[PCIntern]

11. From "Hannah and Her Sisters":

"If Jesus were here today, he couldn't stop throwing up."

[Keith Bee]

12. Ah, so you've seen that "Family Guy" episode!

}(

[tridim]

13. He'll look like Osama Bin Laden. No doubt that won't go over well with the teafuckers.

[Stevenmarc]

15. The Teabaggers will ask for his Virgin Birth Certificate

[L0oniX]

17. He may be the ONLY ONE who can stop the corporatists.

[The Magistrate]

18. As The Song Said, Sir....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lel0PzhU6Pk

"If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today, he'd be gunned down cold by the CIA."

[former9thward]

19. Given the daily attacks on Christianity and religion in general by many posters

they would be calling it a massive fraud by fundies.

[Motown_Johnny]

22. Call me Thomas if you must, but .....

Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe




O.K. Maybe not thrusting my hand into his side, that seems a bit much, but you get my point.

[former9thward]

23. I won't call you anything. That is for you to do.

My point is that it is hypocritical to make fun of what Fox, etc. would do if Jesus came back when in fact the poster him/herself does not believe it would be possible.

[Motown_Johnny]

29. Hypocritical?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocritical

^snip^


hyp·o·crite   /ˈhɪpəkrɪt/ Show Spelled
Show IPA

–noun

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.





The people making fun of believers might be rude and insensitive but they are not hypocrites. They are being honest about what they believe, that is not being hypocritical.

[former9thward]

31. No, they fit into #1

I think you miss what I took from the OP. The OP is suggesting that Jesus actually comes back. If the posters attack Fox, etc. for what they would do if that actually happened then it is hypocrisy if you don't believe that it could happen. As a non-believer they should join in what Fox, etc. would do if Jesus actually came back.

[MilesColtrane]

24. deleted

PCIntern beat me to it.

[PCIntern]

27. Great minds think alike!!!

[Proud Liberal Dem]

25. WWJD

n/t

[Cleita]

30. My husband always said, "Why would he want to come

back? We didn't treat him very well the first time."