Our Daughter Isn't a Selfish Brat, Your Son Just Hasn't Read Atlas Shrugged..

[Fumesucker]

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2010/8/12hague.html
<snip>

Now let me explain why your son was wrong.

When little Aiden toddled up our daughter Johanna and asked to play with her Elmo ball, he was, admittedly, very sweet and polite. I think his exact words were, "Have a ball, peas ?" And I'm sure you were very proud of him for using his manners.

To be sure, I was equally proud when Johanna yelled, "No! Looter!" right in his looter face, and then only marginally less proud when she sort of shoved him.

The thing is, in this family we take the philosophies of Ayn Rand seriously. We conspicuously reward ourselves for our own hard work, we never give to charity, and we only pay our taxes very, very begrudgingly.

<more>

Edited cuz OP cain't spel.

[Sal Minella]

1. I'm sure you'll find a way to avoid paying taxes, if you really try.

You're doing well, so far. Congratulations on your child-raising philosophy.

Screaming insults at people has to be taught young, because it does not come naturally to most humans.

[Fumesucker]

3. That burning smell? It's your snarkometer..

;)

:hi:

[Sal Minella]

9. "you" = author Hague, not "you" = Fumesucker.

This is a good satire piece and I liked it -- thanks for posting it.

[Fumesucker]

10. I understood your comment..

No offense taken.

:hi:

:hug:

[Taverner]

2. Is that for real???

Or is it a joke?

[coti]

4. It's Onion-esque, ironic. Great stuff, actually.

Very well written and pointed.

[Taverner]

14. Yes, and it could go either way

Please!

I'm ironically challenged!

Let me know if this is an ironic trick, or the real thing!?!?!?!?!

[Fumesucker]

5. My snarkometer is dinging fit to stir the dead..

I suspect it be Memorex.

[TalkingDog]

21. McSweeney's often sits with tongue firmly in cheek

[Jack Rabbit]

6. Well, now we know what kind of people take Ayv n Rand seriously

Schoolyard bullies.

[Ruby the Liberal]

7. I went to the main page. I think it is a satire site?

God, I hope so.

[The Wielding Truth]

12. I think so, too. It seems more an example of a point of view then

recount of an actual event. Really sharp and scarily insightful.

[Ruby the Liberal]

13. I browsed through their store.

Seems like a high-end literary version of The Onion.

[The Wielding Truth]

16. Cool. I will check it out.

[Luminous Animal]

8. McSweeney's is fantastic!

[cali]

11. that is a thing of beauty. what a riot.

[Howler]

15. Snort! Luv it! n/t

K&R

[Fumesucker]

18. Per your tagline..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3rxNCzzJpY

[Howler]

19. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Love some Kinks in my Tea!
Thank you Fumesucker! :toast: :yourock: :headbang:

[TheMadMonk]

17. You bastard. You complete and utter bastard. I hate you. :D

Whole hours of my life suddenly disappear when pushers like you slip "free tastes" into my carefully circumscribed online world.

[Gold Metal Flake]

20. Oh well, what's one more website to visit daily?

[bengalherder]

22. what?

They didn't name the kid 'Dagny'?

I am disappoint.x(

[Luminous Animal]

23. Let me tell ya'll a little bit about McSweeney's

A fine literary San Francisco journal.

You see, there was this young man, Dave Eggers, a student at the University of Chicago, whose parents died within weeks of each other and left his 12 year old sibling (Toph) with no parental care. Adult siblings debate and adult siblings decide, remarkably that the ill-equipped Dave should take responsibility for his younger brother (a story that Dave illustrates in his brilliant book, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius).

Dave raises his brother in artsy literary BoHo San Francisco, he creates a life, he creates a magazines, he creates a comic, Smart Fellers and then Smarter Feller and keeps writing the above named book which gets published.

And becomes a best seller.

And so Dave, commie pinko San Francisco values kind of guy, decides to take his new found wealth and create a totally free childrens' writing work shop called 826 Valencia. He opens up a Pirate Store where kids can find treasure in lard, and mop heads will drop down from the ceiling if kids can make the staff laugh and drawers are full of treasure, and so is the vat of sand, and in the back are free classes in "Lost Art of the Radio Play", "This CD Sucks", "Dark Fiction", "Fantasy Fiction"... experimental poetry, music, free tutoring, and SAT prep.

At 826 Valencia, my daughter took workshops with Michael Chabon, Spike Jonze, Stephen King, Roger Ebert, and Dave Eggers, and dozens of not famous brilliant volunteers.

And he also started a publishing company called McSweenys's.

[blondeatlast]

25. Love the guy. "Staggering Genius" had me laughing hysterically and weeping uncontrollably--

often within a heartbeat of each other.

What a gift he is.

[Luminous Animal]

28. And his devotion to young writers is unparalleled.

There is no way that I can ever thank him enough for the opportunity of broadening the horizons of my daughter's (and some her friends) intellect.

http://www.826valencia.org/
http://www.826national.org/
http://www.826nyc.org/
http://www.826chi.org/
http://www.826la.org/
http://www.826seattle.org/
http://www.826michigan.org/
http://www.826boston.org/
http://826dc.org/

For children, everything is free!

[FogerRox]

24. I found this on Krugmans blog:

There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.


http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/12/28/rule-by-the-ridiculous/

[baldguy]

26. "Atlas Shrugged" isn't a book to be set aside lightly.

It should be thrown with great force.

[lunasun]

27. As a mom I have encountered some rich little

toddler fucks who act like this as the parents gaze and smile on,,,,no sharing is NOT a virtue to be taught in those homes I am sure intentionally.......this is satire but reality is out there!!!

[walldude]

29. The thing is in this family we are greedy self centered

selfish, egotistical pricks, who think that 2 little children sharing a toy is the root of all evil in the world. And we learned all this by reading a work of fiction written by another self centered greedy egotistical asshole.

America, FUCK YEAH!

It was satire?


Nevermind