Pat Robertson: Snow = God’s Way of Punishing Americans Planning to Drive to Do Something Gay

[Hannah Bell]

Treacherous Roads Part of Almighty’s Strategy, Says Televangelist

VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) – Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast “to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay.”

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, “Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two.”

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area “so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur.”

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, “I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?”

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: “It’s as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/12/28/pat-robertson-snow-is-gods-way-of-punishing-americans-who-were-planning-to-drive-to-do-something-gay-2/

[Flubadubya]

1. ...

:crazy::crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

[Syrinx]

2. I don't know if you realize or not...

That's a satirical site.

[razorman]

10. Wow. Those Canadians and Alaskans must really be gay! It has been snowing there

every year for a long time.

[OKNancy]

3. I hope people know that the Borowitz site is satire n/t

[rurallib]

7. so hard to tell any more

:evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[terrya]

8. I can actually imagine him saying something like that.

[Q3JR4]

4. Uh.... O_o

I think somebody needs to check his meds.

o_O

Q3JR4.

[johnroshan]

5. Self Delete.

Duped by a satire website.

[Hannah Bell]

6. the national weather service saying "white as a glenn beck rally" didn't clue you?

[johnroshan]

15. Oh come on... It was about Pat Robertson.

There's nothing that crazy douche won't say, and I just thought that borowitz was just being cheeky with that statement about Beck.

[Name removed]

9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Cirque du So-What]

11. Virginia Beach - where vile Robertson is headquartered

itself got a foot of snow from that storm. Maybe Gawd is pointing a bony finger at YOU, Pat!

(yes, I know the OP is satirical)

[blueamy66]

12. Okay, it's a satirical website, but...

Get thee to a mental hospital, NOW!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

13. Yes, it stopped Americans from going down

into the subways to get to an assignation. Major blockages in those tunnels.

Dang.

That God, quite the trickster.

:hi:

[CanonRay]

14. Bat-shit crazy

That is all.

[Vinca]

16. Wonder what the story is on the Bible belt tornadoes.