Republicanism: An antidote to materialism?

[gulliver]

In this world where it seems like everyone is always trying to get more and more stuff for their greedy selves, it is nice to know that there is a strong countervailing force. Republicanism.

Every time Republicans get any power at all, they proceed to ruin the economy. Look at this last time. It was a historic shrinking of the American Pie (apologies to Don McLean). Less pie means less pie for everybody. It means less of everything. Less stuff.

Then, while shrinking the pie, Republicans divert the remainder of the pie away from the vast majority of the population, including themselves, and toward the super-wealthy. That means less pie for almost everybody. Again, less of everything, not just pie. The pie is a metaphor for everything.

You see where this is going. Republicans in power actually do something about the awful materialism that makes us all slaves to "things." By destroying wealth so prodigiously and handing what's left to the rich, Republicans make the American people more spiritual, not to mention thinner.

Thanks, GOP!