Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

A Washington maxim. Or does it have something to do with getting a dog?

Did he tear through the walk-in at Bobby Van's Steakhouse?

I misread it as "...Black Caucus endures Hillary"

Of course we can see that's clearly not the reality.

Women are bad at math.

OH MY GOD I'M KIDDING.

Everyone knows most men mistake five inches for nine.

I learned how to keep my fork in the same hand

out of dread fear of Europeans!

But then I was already prone to be a one-handed meat eater.

I don't know from patriotic, to me the word "evolution" sounds dirty.

Like a sex swing or something.

But what they're saying, "Evolution is unpatriotic" yeah, that's pretty funny.

Is it a good idea to click on the link to help the site?

I usually do, but is it a good habit? Any dough-making capabilities?

It's all kindly posted here, but would it be a nice thank you to click on?

If this question seems stupid that's only because I actually am quite fucking stupid.

...>

A love for words has not to wait
for a lover to gesticulate,

on bended knee with earnest look,
all we do is crack a book.

The remedy need not be hard
when playing footsie with The Bard.

As for some line to earn your plate,
DU wishes luck in the aggregate.

Seeketh thou to weep or yet to pine?

Thou knowest wherefore I cast my line.

The plink one hears is not the bait, yet the breath of blood's beat,

a heart which ere sinks come nightfall, into thine own sheet.

Prithy, I now must seem as one discreet, so as then to plunder

more than canst in all attempts to rive we two asunder.

--or some shit. I dunno.

...>

such rules as these I cannot lament,

I'd require a pool cast in cement,

a deed of great doing, or acres vast tracts,

some of these such for loves greatest acts.