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Thu Feb 8, 2018, 10:46 AM

My FBI/Ex-wife story

Many years ago, my ex-husband was nominated by the then president for a top federal job. One day I came home from work and found the business card of an FBI Agent on my front door with a note to call him. It was interesting to me (and a little bit creepy) that he had come to my home without calling me first. Anyway, the next day I called him back. He told me that he wanted to speak to me about my ex and that we could do it over the phone or in person. I opted for the phone. He asked me when and how long we had been married, how many children and other general background stuff. Then he got down to cases: had he ever abused me or my child; did he have money, drug or alcohol issues; what was the worst thing he had ever done to me. I answered no to all of the questions except the last one and I told him that I thought the question was very leading (I'm a lawyer, btw). I then told him that as far as I was concerned, my ex's appointment was an excellent one and the President would be glad he made it. The agent actually laughed and said that he very seldom had an interview with an ex-wife like this one.

In reading and seeing the account of Porter's ex-wives, I thought back to my interview and one thing is clear to me: in answering the agent's questions, I absolutely had to be honest, I had to tell the truth no matter what that brought. These women were under the same obligation and they did the right thing. These women were not giving gratuitous interviews to Doctor Phil. They were talking to the FBI.

Anyway, that's my story FWIW.

54 replies, 9170 views

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Arrow 54 replies Author Time Post
Reply My FBI/Ex-wife story (Original post)
Raven Feb 2018 OP
hlthe2b Feb 2018 #1
flibbitygiblets Feb 2018 #8
IronLionZion Feb 2018 #15
flibbitygiblets Feb 2018 #32
mythology Feb 2018 #41
Corgigal Feb 2018 #2
IronLionZion Feb 2018 #12
MontanaMama Feb 2018 #3
SCantiGOP Feb 2018 #19
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #4
SunSeeker Feb 2018 #14
brush Feb 2018 #16
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #17
SCantiGOP Feb 2018 #20
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #25
BamaRefugee Feb 2018 #27
lunasun Feb 2018 #51
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #52
Raine1967 Feb 2018 #5
HipChick Feb 2018 #6
mountain grammy Feb 2018 #7
NightWatcher Feb 2018 #9
Ligyron Feb 2018 #10
Raven Feb 2018 #11
MontanaMama Feb 2018 #22
marylandblue Feb 2018 #26
grantcart Feb 2018 #13
Justice Feb 2018 #39
Mr.Bill Feb 2018 #18
llmart Feb 2018 #36
electron_blue Feb 2018 #21
MontanaMama Feb 2018 #23
electron_blue Feb 2018 #28
Justice Feb 2018 #40
LisaM Feb 2018 #24
HipChick Feb 2018 #29
LisaM Feb 2018 #30
HipChick Feb 2018 #31
Upthevibe Feb 2018 #35
KT2000 Feb 2018 #33
Dem_4_Life Feb 2018 #34
marlakay Feb 2018 #47
Dem_4_Life Feb 2018 #50
mainer Feb 2018 #37
HipChick Feb 2018 #42
dchill Feb 2018 #38
kwassa Feb 2018 #43
dlk Feb 2018 #44
ROB-ROX Feb 2018 #45
Raven Feb 2018 #53
PatrickforO Feb 2018 #46
Kali Feb 2018 #48
Hekate Feb 2018 #49
tazkcmo Feb 2018 #54

Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 10:52 AM

1. yes... they do have to be honest and any FBI agent who can't tell "truth" versus vendetta

would be a real anomaly... So RWers who want to claim "Ex-spouses" lie show themselves as the asses they are.

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Response to hlthe2b (Reply #1)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:05 PM

8. "Ex spouses lie" is code for "Don't believe women"

GOP is still the party of anti women (also anti POC, anti gay etc , aka pro-white men), and will continue to be until we rise up and make them irrelevant.

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Response to flibbitygiblets (Reply #8)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:29 PM

15. An ex-husband could lie just as easily

Or a gay ex-partner

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Response to IronLionZion (Reply #15)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 02:08 PM

32. Yes, but we don't have any men in this admin

complaining they've been physically or sexually abused, do we? Or did I miss that? No ex-gay lovers, or male ex husbands of anyone in team trump are complaining to my knowledge.

Thus behavior has a pattern. Only women are alleging abuse, and they're being called liars. So your point, while technically possible, is inapplicable and therefore unhelpful.

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Response to flibbitygiblets (Reply #32)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:50 PM

41. Doesn't get around the underlying issue that exes rarely are objective

 

Doesn't mean that the claims shouldn't be investigated as though they are real.

And statistically speaking there are multiple men and other women in the Trump who are being abused (physically or emotionally) by their partners we don't know about.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:14 AM

2. All good agencies do that type of background.

I worked for a giant agency in Florida, they knocked on all my neighbors doors. I also applied for the Dept Of a Justice, they contacted everyone. Even people you had no clue they would. They run your credit, talk to everyone.

Hell, when my daughter entered the Coast Guard, they contacted her high school, present employer and more people then we could imagine. I personally have no problem with that, I had a secret clearance and my daughter got, with out asking, a top secret clearance.

It's the way, we're suppose to work. Our backgrounds matter. Future behavior, in reference to past behavior.

Thanks for sharing your story.

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Response to Corgigal (Reply #2)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:25 PM

12. Semper Paratus!



Thanks to your daughter for her service. I love the Coast Guard. They really value their people a lot.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:26 AM

3. Great story.

I can add to this...my husband coached Little League team with one of our neighbors for years. The neighbor has a son the same age as ours. A couple years ago, the neighbor applied for a federal job (in intelligence, I believe) that required an extensive background check. An FBI agent called my husband and came to our house to interview him about our neighbor. The interview took well over an hour. He asked questions about what my husband knew about our neighbor's income, work history, what kind of a coach he was, what was his demeanor with children, what he knew about the neighbor's marriage on and on and on. The agent asked the same questions in different ways to see if my husbands answers would change. It was a fascinating and somewhat stressful conversation. The FBI doesn't mess around.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #3)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:08 PM

19. Years ago, my brother was up for a job in the DOD

The job required a top security clearance. The military investigators asked my parents for the names of 4 people that he had known since High School. My Dad later asked one of them if he had been contacted. He said yes, but that all he was asked was.......the names of 4 people who had known him since High School.
They obviously were not going to trust a parent to give out the name of someone that might not give good answers to the interview.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:38 AM

4. Bottom line: Trump regime doesn't trust women & FBI & Intell & journalists & colored people & ... nt

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #4)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:26 PM

14. Trump regime hates truth. nt

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #4)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:31 PM

16. "Colored People"? Come on, we're not in the 1950s anymore. Try "people of color".

One doesn't expect to see that archaic usage on a progressive board.

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Response to brush (Reply #16)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:02 PM

17. Sorry, I was writing that as Trump and his supremacists would see it. You are correct.


On the other hand, is the NAACP stuck in the 1950s and irrelevant for some decades now?

Yes, you are correct, the "preferred" designation these days is "people of color".

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #17)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:09 PM

20. Does that make me

a person of non-color?

(just joking, sense of humor please)

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Response to SCantiGOP (Reply #20)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:29 PM

25. :)

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #17)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:34 PM

27. I think it's proper to use the words Trump himself uses...and he has NEVER SAID "people of color"!

Unless FORCED TO by a speechwriter and even then he probably gags as he says it.

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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #17)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 01:16 AM

51. NAACP is a very historic 1909 very active organization. Nothing irrelevant about them or thier

current programs
NAACP Programs & Departments
1. Education
2. Federal Advocacy
3. Health
4. Civic Engagement
5. Economic Opportunity
6. Criminal Justice
7. Environmental &
Climate Justice
OUR MISSION IS TO ENSURE THE POLITICAL, EDUCATIONAL, SOCIAL, AND ECONOMIC EQUALITY OF RIGHTS OF ALL PERSONS AND TO ELIMINATE RACE-BASED DISCRIMINATION. AND WE’VE BEEN DOING IT SINCE 1909.

Doesn't sound like you "prefer" people of color as a term but please be advised they are working for the rights of all people in many of thier initiatives

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Response to lunasun (Reply #51)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 01:50 AM

52. I referenced NAACP as a counter-example, sardonically. Of course they are relevant.


"People of color" is a perfectly fine term.

Do not assume too much about me.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:43 AM

5. I live in an area with a lot of federal workers.

Neighbors, friends etc. and I have been used as a reference for about three friends seeking clearance for any number of jobs.

The interviews were very much like what you described. Similar questions as well!

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:51 AM

6. I have done quite a few FBI interviews...

I've done federal work for a while, and a lot of my neighbors are involved with that type of work - And yes, they have come to my house, called, and hunted me down...you have to tell the absolute truth...

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:52 AM

7. I too was interviewed for a background check on a friend.

I was surprised at how personal the questions were, but I answered every one to the best of my ability.. if I didn't know the answer, that was my answer, I don't know. The agent seemed fine with that. Interesting experience. the agent was so respectful, intelligent and just nice.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:09 PM

9. I used to conduct SSBI's and had to interview references, including exes

Rarely did they lie and when they did, reminding them that lying is a federal offense, they recanted.

There is no way given what I know of investigations and this administration that half of those fools would get a clearance. That these people couldn't get clearances but were given access is unfathomable to me (no not really, but in a pre-trump world it would be).

Nothing matters anymore. No rules must be followed anymore. It's a damn shame too.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:17 PM

10. So there's no way Kelly and others didn't know.

Wonder who else has access to TS info in Trump's WH without a clearance? Stephen Miller comes to mind right off the bat.

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Response to Ligyron (Reply #10)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:22 PM

11. When I had my interview,

there was absolutely no assurance that it would be kept confidential.

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Response to Ligyron (Reply #10)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:17 PM

22. Really good point.

I am doubting that Stephen Miller got a clearance with his sketchy background but until this Rob Porter fiasco, I hadn't thought too much about it. Just how many are there on the WH staff without them? Good gawd.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #22)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:34 PM

26. Kushner still doesn't have a clearance

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 12:25 PM

13. Checking backgrounds for clearance is the most time consuming part of FBI work


Just like any task you do with a lot of repetition you get to be really good at it.

If the FBI contacted 24 people who basically said the same positive thing but one ex wife gave a negative response they would note it but not give it much weight.

If however they contacted 24 people and got 18 positive responses and a couple who said that they new he cold be explosive, a couple more who had a confrontation with him and 2 ex-wives that gave nearly identical responses they would give it a lot of weight.

For just a normal person its pretty difficult to not get a security clearance, especially if you have had government positions before.

My guess is that the FBI found the ex wives 100% trustworthy and that other facts also exist about Porter.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #13)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:44 PM

39. A judge had issued a temporary protective order - that was huge verification. She would have signed

an affidavit.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:04 PM

18. Before I could volunteer at my local hospital

they did a federal background check on me that cost $1400.

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Response to Mr.Bill (Reply #18)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 03:33 PM

36. I was a substitute teacher for one year...

and not only did they do a background check, they fingerprinted me. So, once again Trump and his lackeys are liars. But we knew that already, didn't we?

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:12 PM

21. My story is completely different

Soon after my ex-husband and I divorced he was up for a job that required top-secret clearance. I got the interview and got the same kinds of questions that you describe. I basically lied and said he never abused me or our child. I said he never did anything bad to me, that it was just one of those things that we fell apart. The truth is that I was terrified of my ex. I lived in fear day and night that he was going to break in and attack me and kill me. He had threatened it. So - him having a job clear across the country was the best thing that could have ever happened for me and my (our) child. My replies were all about getting him the job. You may judge me, but he was a major physical threat to me and my child.

So - maybe one shouldn't always trust an ex-wife's words.

Just sayin'

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Response to electron_blue (Reply #21)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:21 PM

23. I don't judge you.

In a life and death situation, you do what is necessary to protect your child. I wonder if the FBI agent knew anything about what had happened to you before your interview?

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #23)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:39 PM

28. He might have.

A year before, my ex had undergone (and failed) a county sponsored anger management program. But, just by talking to his friends, coworkers and neighbors, the agent would not have learned about the abuse. I had also stayed one night in a women's shelter, but that was supposed to be private. Who knows. Anyways... so glad that is many years behind me. I am really hoping this country goes through a cultural shift in the next 5-10 years. Maybe it will finally happen. Either that, or get worse.

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Response to electron_blue (Reply #21)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:46 PM

40. You didn't falsely say he abused you when he didn't - there is a difference IMO


I hope you are well and happy. No judging here.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:24 PM

24. Agreed. I had an apartment neighbor

who must have applied to work at the FBI and an agent came (unannounced) to interview me. He was absolutely professional from tip to tail. I found it an encouraging and positive experience too.

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Response to LisaM (Reply #24)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:41 PM

29. Not all US agencies use FBI to do their background checking..

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Response to HipChick (Reply #29)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:47 PM

30. This was quite a while ago, late 80s.

But I got the feeling my neighbor had actually applied to get into the FBI itself.

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Response to LisaM (Reply #30)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 01:53 PM

31. I found out the hard way..

When I would switch jobs or agencies ....

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Response to LisaM (Reply #24)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 02:41 PM

35. Thanks for your story....It's completely

unacceptable (so many things with these nightmare people are) that they have (Kushner-WTF??!!) people in these positions w/o clearance!!!

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 02:09 PM

33. Do Russians visit them

and other questions about Russians is what they asked neighbors of a friend who had a government job processing retirements etc. I wonder if they leave those questions out now.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 02:12 PM

34. Great story thanks for sharing.

That is a very interesting story.

As the daughter of a prosecutor I have always found the details of how the FBI agents and police do their jobs. For the most part they are all fantastic people and their jobs are very interesting.

There is an FBI building close to my job and every time I drive by I wonder how many times they have been involved in these Russia investigations LOL.

And I love the fact that our San Antonio police chief is very outspoken about standing up to human rights and against Trump's policies.

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Response to Dem_4_Life (Reply #34)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 09:25 PM

47. Thanks for sharing

My daughter moved to San Antonio area last year, makes me feel better.

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Response to marlakay (Reply #47)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:11 AM

50. San Antonio is a great city!

Also our new mayor is amazing and so far better than Julian Castro! He will be someone to watch later.

Overall SA is very safe and a big city that feels like a small town and neighborly.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 03:54 PM

37. I got interviewed by FBI re:an employee who was leaving my company

It was for Air Force top security clearance, and the agent (a woman) came to my house. Asked all sorts of questions like "to your knowledge, has this employee ever had relationships with women who were not American citizens?" Weird stuff. Anyway, I really, really didn't want to lose this employee because he was so great, and I laughingly told her I might have to lie because I didn't want to lose him. She didn't think it was funny.

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Response to mainer (Reply #37)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:53 PM

42. I had to lose an employee

as he lied about dating a Chinese National...he was not able to re-up his security clearance, and without it he had to leave...

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:22 PM

38. Thank you for that.

Informative and relevant.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 04:58 PM

43. I got interviewed by the FBI about my wife.

for a security clearance. She was listening in the next room.

She got it.

Many years later, two cousins of hers became FBI agents.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 05:08 PM

44. Did Porter Lie to the FBI About His Abuse of His Former Spouses? If So, Isn't That a Crime?

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 07:08 PM

45. INTERESTING

This story is about an interview. Normally, interviews are handled by a government agent versus the FBI. The FBI normally interview for information regarding a criminal complaint versus a security clearance interview. I had a clearance for over 30 years and at no time was the FBI involved. My information was taken by and followed up by government agents who collected information for the security clearance. The past amount spent per clearance was $10,000 which pays for the agents time. My clearance for over 30 years was a "Q." I had a secret in the navy, and was given a top secret when hired.

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Response to ROB-ROX (Reply #45)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 07:58 AM

53. My interview was about a US Attorney position and it was

definitely conducted by an FBI Agent...I will never forget that calling card stuck in my front door.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 09:09 PM

46. Well that's true. If you lie to an FBI agent, it is a federal crime.

Not good.

But kudos to you for good character. I would never, ever lie about my ex either. She was fine - we just grew apart. But then, divorces can be crazy times.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:13 PM

48. I doubt drumpf could pass a check if it weren't for the fact that he's potus

and just writing that last part makes me

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:31 PM

49. Thanks. There's an OP right now that wants an "innocent until proven guilty" pity party. ...

You know, how do we feel about men whose wives have accused them losing their jobs? They are innocent until proven guilty in court, right?

He's having a hard time acknowledging (a) the nature of interviews with the FBI, the nature of security clearances, and (c) at-will employment.

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Response to Raven (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 09:53 AM

54. Thanks for posting

I appreciate the insight.

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