More appropriate WHCA dinner jokes for 2019... all of them Trump-approved
Low-IQ crazy Kellyanne Conway is here tonight. Kellyanne came to Mar-a-Lago three nights in a row around New Year’s Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!
Sarah Huckabee Sanders has also graced us with her presence. She gained a massive amount of weight, and it was a real problem.
I see Fox News in the back, which is a failing pile of garbage and the enemy of the American people. I never watch Sean Hannity, who I once called “the dumbest man on television!”
As for the First Lady, I did try and f*** Melania. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/more-appropriate-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-jokes-for-2019
(Links to Trump's original tweets are embedded in the original article. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the actual President of the United States of America.)