General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy wife was upset today, she told me she is not pretty anymore.
I told her, when you are 63 years old you are not supposed to be pretty. Your supposed to be beautiful, a beautiful person. You are.
I made her day.
No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)SallyHemmings
(1,823 posts)cpamomfromtexas
(1,247 posts)Aristus
(66,484 posts)I can't do that for my wife. I tell her she's beautiful, and she replies: "That doesn't count. You're my husband!"
Delmette2.0
(4,175 posts)My now ex husband during 14 years together never once told me I was pretty or beautiful. That is just one reason he is my ex.
Aristus
(66,484 posts)She still smiles and blushes a little when I tell her.
I'll take it...
Delmette2.0
(4,175 posts)Everyone needs to know that someone thinks they are beautiful or handsome.
Canoe52
(2,949 posts)you think she is beautiful. Doesnt have to be expensive florist flowers, from the grocery store on sale is great. Take the price tag off, dont forget the hug and kiss.
My wife melts whenever I do this.
Aristus
(66,484 posts)Flowers: allergic.
Chocolates: "How could you? They'll make me fat!"
Jewelry: She'd rather pick it out herself and say: "This is from you!" rather than rely on my taste in jewelry.
That's all right. She's worth it...
Canoe52
(2,949 posts)Aristus
(66,484 posts)She dislikes dogs.
I dislike cats.
So we have neither.
Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)husband, I was with a friend. I asked him later what he thought the first time he saw me? He said "I thought how pretty Brenda was" Never, ever gave me a compliment. Stupidly, I had three kids with that loser. I kept hoping things would improve. Never did. Second husband was just the opposite.
MoonchildCA
(1,301 posts)I tell him, as long as he feels that way, thats all that counts.
rickford66
(5,530 posts)seleff
(154 posts)My wife just turned 62. I find her more beautiful Each and every year.
Chemisse
(30,820 posts)And your response was perfect.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)And she is a lucky woman to have you!
LuckyLib
(6,821 posts)into us since we were little girls. The laments of older women are so sad. Author Gertrude Stein: We are always the same age inside.
SCantiGOP
(13,874 posts)But look every bit of my 66 years.
greymattermom
(5,754 posts)When I was pretty, 40-50 years ago, I never realized it. Now, the goal is to be healthy.
kag
(4,079 posts)I look at pictures of myself, and say, "Why didn't anyone tell me how pretty I was back then?" Of course, they did. I just didn't listen.
And yes, the goal now is definitely to be healthy, and it's an elusive goal more and more these days.
mcar
(42,425 posts)Damn, I was a dish. But always with the self-consciousness and criticism. It's taken me a few years with my now chubby, flabby body and droopy face, but I happily pose for pictures with a big smile. I figure if I make it to 80, I'll look at them and say...
Damn, I was a dish!
calimary
(81,554 posts)Probably because with age, at the advanced level where topical treatments really dont help much, anymore, beauty becomes something different.
I find I actually like my crows feet and laugh lines. That shows the world that youve laughed and smiled a lot in your life. And I love my white hair! Its been wanting to do that since I was in college.
Back then, I could pluck the stray silver strand. Easy to spot against dark brown hair. But then there started to be so many of them that I turned to hair color to keep things tamed. Spent a fortune in bucks AND time. The TIME it took! Sheesh! Id be in the salon for almost all afternoon. I reached the point where I just couldnt afford to take that much time out to get the gray and white out of my hair.
My hair is powerful. Heavy, wavy, medium-texture, and lots of it. Has a mind of its own. Always did. Id stand at the bathroom mirror with the blow dryer for 45 minutes every morning, to force my hair to do what I wanted instead of what it wanted. Forty-five minutes it took!
I finally gave up and just let it do what it wanted - shape, style, and color. Lifes too short to have to struggle like that - with ones hair for Petes Sake. And I love how it looks now! The joys of submission to a higher power!
moreland01
(744 posts)I'm sure I'd cry. So sweet. He shows it every day by still chasing me around the house and making me laugh. Sometimes I show him that he's still pretty by letting him catch me!
bdamomma
(63,941 posts)nt
NRaleighLiberal
(60,027 posts)her beauty, in and out, grows and grows. Best friends since 1979, married since 1980, we remain each other's favorite people.
You said a nice thing - you are both fortunate people!
BlueJac
(7,838 posts)You just become beautiful.
ailsagirl
(22,901 posts)Bernardo de La Paz
(49,054 posts)MBS
(9,688 posts)Not just the OP (although that was ace!) - everyone's responses, too.
wow, there really ARE nice guys out there: hats off to you all!
keithbvadu2
(36,985 posts)(from the LOL Cats)
Vinca
(50,321 posts)Vinca
(50,321 posts)You handled it perfectly . . . and a few flowers wouldn't hurt tomorrow either. LOL.
Liberty Belle
(9,538 posts)if you can afford it. A facial and body wrap to make her skin soft and wrinkles less noticeable, with maybe a manicure and/or hair treatment would be something she'd treasure. Now they have things like paraffin hand wraps that make old hands look young again. Some places have packages for special occasions, too.
applegrove
(118,865 posts)women who get tons of plastic surgery to get rid of wrinkles.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,874 posts)to look 40. It just isn't right.
I'm 69 and sometimes I look in the mirror and think I look so old. It is hard. The trick is not to look in mirrors.
I don't know why I feel that way about myself because I like old faces.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,228 posts)Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen and Mary Steenbergen. She's 80, but for all the plastic surgery Jane has had, as well as the heavy makeup, false eyelashes and wigs, she doesn't look a day over 75. She is certainly thin and fit, but it just looks weird to be trying so hard to be something she isn't. The other 3 actresses look like they have had little if any PS.
leftyladyfrommo
(18,874 posts)She has had a lot if sonething and it really just looked off.
It would be so hard to be in a business that depended so much of appearances.
It isn't just the women, either. Some nen have had disastrous ps results, too.
Ohiogal
(32,126 posts)Ohiogal
(32,126 posts)You two are so lucky to have each other!
Chalco
(1,311 posts)mcar
(42,425 posts)I'm 59 and often feel the same as your wife. My husband of 33 years demonstrates with his words and actions that I am still attractive to him, as he is to me with his bald head and whacky eyebrows!
samnsara
(17,652 posts)..i smile and say aaaaa ur fulla shit
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)You have it right, though. This is a time in life to focus on others, appreciate what you have, work on having good health. But hey...looking as good as we can affects us all. Our personalities are related to how we perceive we look.
There's nothing wrong with trying to look younger or better. That's why some wear makeup, color their hair, dress a certain way. You can be beautiful inside and be beautiful outside, too. She can make improvements, if she wants to.
A beauty day may be in order, and splurging on some beauty products. A day at a spa...nails, hair treatment, maybe a yoga class. Then the products for the face...face masks, hair masks, firming cream. A long bubble bath or whirlpool bath with candles & nice scents. And an exercise plan. A new nightie. So she'll end up feeling refreshed, and will look more glowing and youthful. It's fine if she doesn't want to, but it sounds like she may need a pickmeup. If she wants to go further, she can try injections for the naso-labial folds, which are not permanent.
Wrinkles are not nearly so aging as sagging. And there's not much one can do about sagging except a facelift. It's what happens when you get older, esp if you had full cheeks when young. I call it the Angela Lansbury or Paul McCartney syndrome. But you can make your complexion glow and emphasize your eyes and have super hair, to detract.
I wonder if someone said something that hurt her feelings?
bdamomma
(63,941 posts)Botany
(70,626 posts)when you lay your head on my chest I'm the richest man in the world and your
beauty has no limits .....
secondwind
(16,903 posts)GulfCoast66
(11,949 posts)She is pushing 60.
When looking at 30 year old photos of us I commented, and firmly believe, that she is more beautiful now. Our wrinkles have been hard earned and when I see her gardening in a skirt or shorts, all flushed and sweaty, she is the most beautiful woman on earth.
The fire may not burn as hot at 52 as at 21, but the coals are banked really deep!
kimbutgar
(21,234 posts)You get to a certain age when you feel like you are no longer considered a woman men want to check out. You feel invisible. But I take delight that I was young and kind of not. I got checked out and whistled at.
And sometimes my hubby will say you look good in those pants and your ass looks good also. To him Im still the woman he saw across the dance floor at a nightclub 33 years ago. Take comfort and joy wife of shockey80 your hubby thinks youre still hot!
samplegirl
(11,513 posts)Who struggles with losing our youth. Somehow it takes a part of your confidence. Thank goodness you tell her shes beautiful because some days you just dont feel it!
BobTheSubgenius
(11,572 posts)I'm not saying one way or the other, but I *may* steal this, if the occasion arises.
DFW
(54,462 posts)Depending on how long you've been together, you could add that you hadn't noticed any changes.
One of the few things my wife sometimes comes out with in English is "I'm getting old." I just tell her "oh come on, you're the best looking woman your age in the world, and you know it." We've been together 44 years now, and I think I almost have her convinced, but not quite. A sixty-year-old woman doesn't have to look like a beautiful thirty-year-old. All she has to do is look like a great sixty-year-old. Just ask any sixty-year-old guy that has his head screwed on straight.
Docreed2003
(16,888 posts)The love you and your spouse share must be infectious!
Soxfan58
(3,479 posts)Its the truth, I dont see how the trumps of the world need a woman half their age. There is so much more to enjoy with someone close to the same age.
calimary
(81,554 posts)My husband is like that, too. Mighty nice, I must say!