I have an honest question...What is it with some men?

[LuckyCharms]

I just got back from running errands, and while driving, this was weighing on my mind.

What is it with some people (predominantly men, in my opinion) that makes them think that they can lay their hands on other people (predominantly women), without their consent, in order to force their will upon them?

I'll tell you something without exaggeration...like a lot of you, I've seen some shit, particularly in my younger years. I've been blackout drunk (have not had a drink for several years). I've been sky high. I've been in some situations that you wouldn't believe. I've had a full life.

But one thing I can say, I NEVER gave a thought to unnecessarily forcing myself on someone in an act of violence (which rape or attempted rape is), or hitting someone unless it was in self-defense. I've been in plenty of fights, but I never started them. I've been to a lot of wild parties, but I never grabbed a woman in an unwanted manner. I've been kissed and groped by women who were drunk off their face, but I never "took advantage" of those situations. My father died when I was young, and my mom never talked to me about this things, but I just kind of intuitively knew that you are asking for a world of hurt if you think that you are some kind of Don Juan and can go around touching women without an invite.

So what is it with these pasty fuckers who think that they have all of this power? First of all, anyone with even a hint of morality just knows that you don't do that shit. Secondly, why don't they worry that someone's friend/father/brother is going to catch wind of what they did, pay them a visit, and serve them their teeth up on a platter?

I don't get it. I think that most people don't get it. It's hard to understand.

[Cracklin Charlie]

1. They're crazy.

Can’t rationalize crazy.

It’s a power thing, likely some feeling of inadequacy.

Edit to add: Congratulations, you’re not crazy!

[LuckyCharms]

2. This Kavanaugh issue is driving me nuts.

I believe Dr. Ford 100%, and I understand why women don't come forward.

Just looking at the guy, and hearing him speak.....makes me seethe with anger.

[vlyons]

6. It's called aggression

From a Buddhist perspective, it is a sick, delusional point of view that sees no human connection to others. It is desire to possess gone haywire. It is lack of compassion, and more importantly, lack of self-discipline and restraint. An aggressive ego that doesn't recognize boundaries. Throw in some prideful condescension and voila! a guy (or female) turns into an asshole. Eventually they get their teeth served on a platter, or at least a reputation for being an asshole.

[Cracklin Charlie]

7. I remember a phrase we used

Something like...that guy thought he was God’s gift to women.

I usually steered clear of those types.

Some of those former “gifts to women” get their comeuppance by showing up fat and bald at your class reunion.

[dchill]

3. The difference between you and the "pasty fuckers" is...

that you value yourself as well as others. Conservatives value themselves only, and not very much at that. They only want and need for themselves. They are perpetual adolescents, with no real thought or empathy for others - and they value that as a strength. They do not think in mature ways. And they revel in those "qualities."

[HipChick]

4. Happened to me at a work party...these were colleagues I work with

supposedly professionals...

[Cracklin Charlie]

8. Do you have a daughter?

Tell her it’s okay to clobber a guy if you have to.

My brother told me, and I was lucky to remember.

[Hoyt]

5. The white taliban. Like to think it's decency, but I'm also too shy to force myself

on anyone. Even when blitzed, I prefer to sit quietly. I’ve known some really sick men that turn my stomach the way they would act around women, and should have been fired for harassment. I like the MeToo movement, glad to see it.

[LuckyCharms]

12. Hi! You seem nice!

[Iggo]

13. That was special, wasn't it?

[LuckyCharms]

14. LOL!

[Iggo]

11. Like you, I've also seen some shit.

A lot of these events were "self-correcting", involving painful physical reminders of why that person shouldn't have done that thing.

But a lot of them (and I'm starting to think most of them) aren't, and I think that's what's with these guys.

Every time they don't get corrected, they see it as tacit permission to do it again.

[cbdo2007]

15. If you want an honest answer...you're not going to get it here on DU.

But I'm sure there are plenty of books out there, or talk to some therapists and they can help you understand what causes men to act this way. In many cases it goes back to their childhood and the ways they saw their father treat women or other men treat their mother and they think that is how it is supposed to be.

[aikoaiko]

16. I believe you, of course, but there are a lot of guys out there who think the same as you...

...but they did stuff that they don't identify as inappropriate, forceful, or consensual.

[raccoon]

17. I think a lot of it is a sense of entitlement. Some men think they are entitled to

all the nooky they can get. Even if it's by force. And then, a lot of the perps would not consider it rape.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

18. We live in a male supremacy, and institutions are built around the idea that male supremacy

must be protected and upheld at all costs.

[steve2470]

19. Rape and attempted rape are crimes of power

The sexual aspect is secondary. They want "their power" and want to assert it over a woman and other women.

That's what's wrong with them, in a nutshell. I'm not a forensic psychiatrist so I can't give you the full explanation.