I was molested -by a family member-when I was 11 or 12. I didn't say anything until my younger sis

[demtenjeep]

who was 8 at the time also said she was molested by the same person

When we told our mom what happened she called us liars and flipped out.

When we confronted said family member, he said we told him we had asked him to show us things because we were in sex ed in school (totally a lie) but our own MOTHER did not believe us.

She called the preacher of our church and after the family member confessed after a huge blow up the fucking preacher told us, my sister and I, that we needed to go to the alter on Sunday Morning to ask for forgiveness and bear our sins before the church because we let it happen.


THERE ARE MANY REASONS WOMEN DO NOT TELL

FUCK ANY SEXUAL ABUSER

AND I GUARANTEE WE CAN SPOT THEM NOW

[onecaliberal]

1. I'm sorry.

Similar story here. I didn’t tell until I was 35. It was my step father. Mother flipped out.

[demtenjeep]

5. I am sorry you had to go through it.

Mine was my sister's husband.

For the record, they are still married. He got "saved"

They don't come over much and when my girls were little they were never allowed at my sister's home without me or hubby present.

My sister had only boys thank god. She always wanted a girl and spoiled my little girl but never at their home.

[demtenjeep]

6. when my hubby sees him at Christmas, it is all he can do to keep from beating the fuck out of him

but we both love my sister.

She is the one that lost her house and is experiencing her second round of cancer and chemo

all my sisters and I can think of is why couldn't the fuckhead be the one with cancer

[dawg day]

26. Your family lets him come to Christmas?

You don't owe them anything.

[onecaliberal]

10. I ran away from home at 16 to my aunt and uncle. She divorced him when I turned 18.

Haven’t seen him since. I’ve been to hell and back with the trauma of it all my entire life.

[demtenjeep]

25. I also had thoughts about running away and swallowing my mom's "nerve pills"

but eventually just drowned out my thoughts and feelings through music.


My mom used to say she could tell when her daughters were upset=seems we took out our frustrations on the piano.

[eleny]

2. There are not enough tears

I'm so sad that this happened to you.

[rustysgurl]

3. I am sorry ...

... this happened to you. My brother was molested by our priest. My father struck him for 'lying'. Why do parents not believe their children? To what purpose would they be making this up???

[Dorian Gray]

4. Good God

So many people failed you. I am so sorry for the horrors you and your sisters suffered and the lack of support you received from those who should have protected you. It is awful.

[Doreen]

7. I was lucky. My mother walked in on my father molesting me and

called the police on him, kicked him out, and divorced him. She never blamed me at all. I however had a friend who told me that some of the drug buddies that her mother had coming in all of the time raped her and when she told her mother she got the shit beaten out of her.

[onecaliberal]

11. :

[Demovictory9]

8. ugh.

[roamer65]

9. I was molested by a male family member.

He died about 15 years later in an accident and I was happy he did.

My parents swept it under the rug, but to their credit they didn’t punish me and at least made sure he didn’t have access to me anymore.

Demtenjeep...

[H2O Man]

12. Recommended.

I thank you for this. It is powerful. Indeed, you are powerful!

[demtenjeep]

16. Thank you

it sure changed my sense of trust for sure

[deek]

13. I was molested by a family member

and I have never told a soul

Was molested by peers during my teens. Never told anyone. Just accepted it as part of the risk of being female.

[demtenjeep]

14. in my case, it made me hard on trust, institutions and intentions

I did not have a serious relationship until 21 years old,

stopped going to church

and I assume many times that people have bad intentions

[Duppers]

22. In my case I didn't tell my mother...

..about the family sex and later, the date rape because she had always accused me of lying about ANYthing that embarrassed her or made her the least uncomfortable. I learned early on I had to lie to keep peace. Covert narcissists demand no less. Life was all about fairy tales and the proper bible stories for her.

I'm so sorry you had to endure this deepest cut.

[raging moderate]

23. I wonder if your mother had also been molested?

She sounds so scared. Maybe she got the same treatment and sort of went a little insane from it?

[Duppers]

27. Thanks but no. Mentally she was a child.

An extremely stubborn child who was supremely protective of her make-believe, Sunday School world. Her siblings and in-laws made jokes about her to her face - jokes that went "zing" right over her head. She had no ability for rational thought and always voted straight R.

[pnwmom]

15. What an awful story. I'd have trouble forgiving my mother if she'd done something like that.

I am so sorry that happened to you and your sister, demtenjeep!

[demtenjeep]

17. I never really trusted her or went to her for any advice after that

Luckily I had my daddy and he was awesome throughout the entire mess

come to think about it, from that time forward I was pretty distant to my mom even up till her death.

[pnwmom]

18. I'm so glad you had a good father. That's what probably kept you

from going over the cliff.

Someone knew how to love you when you were a child.

[demtenjeep]

19. you are probably right

and I had my music.

Piano
Clarinet
Saxaphone

[pnwmom]

20. Yes. Your music was a form of meditation, I bet. And life-giving. nt

[demtenjeep]

21. as a result

I was the school's main pianist from 7th -12th grade for Choir and band solos

I was 1st chair clarinet all through High School

I played Sax and Piano in Jazz Band

I won the right to sing the SR solo at Graduation.


Received the John Phillips Sousa Award my Senior year

I want auditioned and was accepted to state band and choir concerts every year

Music was my way out'

[pnwmom]

30. I hope you were able to continue with your music into your adult life, too.

And I'm so glad you had it.

[joanbarnes]

24. There are some of us who have never, will never report a family member for these reasons.

[ZeroSomeBrains]

28. I'm very sorry that was your mom's reaction

I was sexually abused by my brother shortly before he died. Thankfully my parents didn't give me that type of reaction when they heard it from me. It may be that I was a male and it wasn't as difficult as hearing it from a female. I can understand your pain in some ways but not how your mom made you feel.

We must stick together and lift each other up in these dark times. Survivors must be believed. I hope you are able to heal somehow and gain strength from realising your not alone. It's never easy having to relive these experiences and see how a part of the population has not changed and looks at down at you as well as those who also are not believed.

Much love and peace to you. I will be thinking of you and other survivors tomorrow during these hearings. Most importantly you are not alone.

[Jarqui]

29. Things happened to me or others I witnessed more than 50 years ago

A number of them, I did something about them.
A few of them, I didn't or I didn't go as far as I might have or maybe should have.

I think about some of these events, decisions and why every day.

I have no wisdom to offer on this.
Just an appreciation that things like this happen and you are not alone.
I wish I could give you more but I haven't figured it all out myself.

[GeoWilliam750]

31. Deepest sympathy to you

Wishing you strength and a place in both your heart and your world where you can feel completely safe.

[Solly Mack]

32. Unbearable grief.

[cpamomfromtexas]

33. So sorry. The church abused many of us.

[MineralMan]

34. How awful that must have been.

And to not be believed would make the pain even worse. Your story has been repeated by so many people, too, which compounds the terrible knowledge that this kind of thing happens in more families than we know.

Thank you for telling us.

[demtenjeep]

39. on the out side, we were the perfect little baptist family

We girls wore dresses to school every day

We did not participate in gym class because they wore shorts.

We were not allowed to go on dates until we were 18

We were in church every time the doors were open

[MineralMan]

40. I suspect that such things are far more common

than anyone realizes. I know that doesn't make it any better for you, but it was never your fault.

[demtenjeep]

41. thank you

I carried a lot of guilt for a long time

[MineralMan]

42. I know.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

35. ban religious organizations

May you have peace. You were trice victimized.

[gratuitous]

36. And as horrible as this is . . .

You're not alone, and these crimes just keep going on and on.

I am hopeful, however, that our society is at last beginning to come to grips with its sick secrets. But only just beginning. And with no guarantee that this isn't a false start. There's always a backlash, there is always a false accusation, there's always someone who floats above the law untouchable. And that is used to justify a return to the bad old days. We have to stay active, and the carry-over of the Women's March at the beginning of Trump's term gives me hope that this time it's different.

[ROB-ROX]

37. MY WIFE WAS ABUSED AND MORMONS DID NOT HELP

My wife's step father and his brother abused my wife. At 13 she started to run away to escape. Hre mother defended the "pay check." My wife told her mom she would drop out of school and get a job. At 17 she finally escaped and it took 15 years and the step father's death to get her to see her mom. I personally think that all religions defend their perverts even if they do not attend Sunday services..........

[Sedona]

38. My mother's best friend's husband tried to molest me when I was 13

I'm 56 now and she still doesnt believe me.

[raccoon]

43. I'm sorry you were so invalidated by your mother and that preacher. Nt

[demtenjeep]

44. My sister just posted on FB a sick meme about the Ford assault

I replied that there was nothing funny at all about sexual harassment, assault or molestation