Kavanaugh Impressed By Hazing Rituals Before They Let You Join Supreme Court
WASHINGTONAdmitting he was surprised by all the tasks required of him in order to enter the prestigious organization, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh reportedly stated Thursday that he was impressed by the hazing rituals you have to go through before they let you join the Supreme Court.
Man, I knew the Supreme Court doesnt let just anyone in, but Ive got to say, theyve really made me run the gauntlet and do all this embarrassing stuffI mean, I had to go on national television with my wife and tell everyone how long I was a virgin, said Kavanaugh, acknowledging that he had to respect the humiliating challenges hes been put through to prove himself worthy of the Supreme Court, like showing his high school diary to the entire country and having to face multiple women from his youth who he didnt even go all the way with.
I did some pretty gnarly stuff back during my fraternity days, so I figured theyd force me to get paddled or chant the Supreme Court motto Equal Justice Under Law for a few hours outside in my underwear or stick my thumb up someones ass, but this hazing is really putting me through a wringer. But Ill do whatever I have to if it means theyll let me be a justice. Supreme Court for life!
Kavanaugh added that when he had felt especially ashamed during the hazing process, he just reminded himself that this was the same initiation his future Supreme Court brother Clarence Thomas had to endure.
https://politics.theonion.com/kavanaugh-impressed-by-hazing-rituals-before-they-let-y-1829370263