My nephew in the grips of right-wing extremism

[lanlady]

My brother's son has Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism. As is common among people with the syndrome, he is socially challenged but academically gifted. Two years ago he was offered a scholarship to study physics at a top-notch university far away from his hometown. He was very excited at the prospect of striking out on his own, having new experiences, and studying his chosen field. His Facebook page was filled with tokens of school pride. After taking a “gap” year to ease the transition from high school, he headed off to college with high hopes for a brilliant future in science.

After about a semester had passed, I noticed on his Facebook page that he had changed his place of residence back to our hometown and stopped talking about college. Soon it became clear that he had dropped out of school. This bright, gentle young man who loved physics and math now spends his days on Facebook posting extreme right-wing conspiracy theories and viciously trashing Trump's opponents. Just recently he posted demeaning sexist accusations against Dr. Ford. My nephew has no job and no more academic pursuits. With sadness I realized he was morphing into his father, likewise a college dropout with no steady employment who delights in ad hominem attacks against me personally (as an Ivy Leaguer I'm a natural enemy) and belligerent rants against liberals in general.

I haven't asked my brother or his wife what accounted for my nephew dropping out of his university so soon -- they'll tell me to mind my own business. And due to the Asperger's, it's hard to connect to my nephew directly because he struggles with personal/social interaction. Meanwhile, he and his dad act as if their brains have been snatched. It's really sad to see this happen. The cult of Trump is a force of inexplicable self-destruction, both on an individual level and as group. I hope it's not too difficult for my nephew to course-correct and get back on track with his education; the country will be all the poorer if he does not!

[vlyons]

1. I'm so sorry you have this family problem

My only suggestion is to give him some books to read. Maybe if you have him some books on theoretical physics or a subscription to the magazine "Physics Today" he might get his interest in physics rekindled.

[TeamPooka]

2. Sorry, but they are lost. Best course is to limit their involvement in your life

[GulfCoast66]

3. I am not a Buddhist. But a freethinker.

However, the people in my life that have gone down the rats hole of Trumpism are just miserable, hateful people.

But I always like to remind myself that behind the hate is pain. I hope they find a way to again care about their fellow man. Because until they do they will not know happiness.

They may hate me. I will not hate them.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

4. I have a son with Asperger's.

He is firmly in the leftist/liberal world, I suppose in no small part because he parents are that way.

I will offer some observations and advice.

Someone with Asperger's is very slow to mature socially. They will typically be at least a decade behind their peers. So your nephew is socially and emotionally like someone at least ten years younger.

Secondly, your brother and his wife, completely aside from their own political beliefs are doing him absolutely no favor by letting him do nothing but indulge in his current behavior. He needs to be in school or in a job. Even at McDonald's. I'm sure they'd defend his staying home by saying he's much too smart to work at McDonald's. To which I say, Bullshit.

Let me tell you about my 35 year old son with Asperger's. (He'll be 36 on December 22) He has struggled all his life. He was always different from his peers and it took us a very long time to find out why. He was 18 years old and a senior in high school before we figured out he had Asperger's. Stupid us, we thought that the diagnosis alone would solve his problem.

He flunked out of his first college. Reed College. So he moved back to our Midwest city and enrolled in the local junior college. After a year or so there he enrolled in Kansas State University in their engineering program. He flunked out of that school also.

It's important to understand that this son was/is incredibly smart, especially in science and math, and had been described as a genius by more than one college professor.

He completed a CAD degree at the junior college, worked in that field for about 9 months, then returned to school in physics. It took him at least an extra year to finally complete his BS because he had to repeat more than one course.

He then wound up at Missouri State University because the four schools he'd applied to for PhD programs all turned him down. Fortunately a professor at MSU knew him, knew he was extremely smart and capable, and invited him to apply there. After a year that professor moved up the academic ladder to George Mason University in Fairfax, Va, and invited him to come along. Which is where my son is now, doing research in exo planets and being sent by the school to international conferences. In June he went to Cambridge, England, and in the spring he should be going to another one in Switzerland.

As I said, he is now 35, almost 36, a bit old for a grad student. He is finally where he should be, but wasn't ready to be there until quite recently.

Let me now tell you about some of his employment. In the winter of his junior year of high school he worked at the local Warner Brother's store. After he flunked out of college he worked at the local movie multi-plex. Then he had a summer job doing data entry for some cardiologists. A year later he worked at the local McDonald's. After he got his CAD degree he worked for about 9 months for an engineering firm. Alas, it was only a temp job and even though the local office tried very hard to persuade the main office to take him on full time, no dice. So he returned to school and physics and is now at George Mason as noted above.

Here's my point. Even though I'm willing to be a very indulgent parent, I knew that he absolutely needed to work at all those points named above. So at various points we pushed him to get a job.

Parents do their kids no favor to support them and not require they get work, even if all they can get is a job at McDonald's or the local movie chain. Especially if their kid is extremely intelligent and ought to be in high level academics. Aspies are especially a problem here because they are almost always extremely intelligent. But they take a whole lot longer to navigate the academic thing.

I know that your brother will not read my post, and that's too bad. Completely aside from his politics, he is hurting his son by not making the young man get a job or go back to school.

[Demovictory9]

5. they need to get him enrolled at the local community college for the coming spring semester

transfer to state after a year or two. dont let a year become five years