The Country of Texas?

[Joey Liberal]

The wingnuts in Oklahoma were passing this around today. They are frickin' crazy!


The Country of Texas ~



Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action if Barack Obama wins the election. We'll miss you too.

Here is what can happen:

1: Barack Hussein Obama is President of the United States, and Texas secedes from the Union in summer of 2013.

2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas. You might not think that he talks too pretty, but we haven't had another terrorist attack, and the economy was fine until the effects of the Democrats lowering the qualifications for home loans came to roost.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we don't know. Why not ask Obama?

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need, and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will have to figure out a way to keep them warm.

6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications equipment -small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Microconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. The Houston Medical Center alone employees over 65,000 people.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas Christian, Rice, SMU, University of Dallas, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.

9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force, and it isn't restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in Texas, it's a Right to Work State and, therefore, it's every man and women for themselves. We just go out and get the job done. And if we don't like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.

10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, the Texas Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

13. Three of the ten largest cities in the United States, and twenty- three of the 100 largest cities in the United States, are located in Texas. And Texas also has more land than California, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Massachusetts, Maryland, Rhode Island and Vermont combined.

14. Trade: Three of the ten largest ports in the United States are located in Texas.

15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don't need to. You see, nothing rusts in Texas, so our vehicles stay beautiful and run well for decades.


This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 5 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Signed,
The People of Texas

P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about!

SLEEP WELL TONIGHT - THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!!

[Skittles]

1. must be old wingnuttery

EDS hasn't been around for four years

wingnuts seem to forget how many times Texas has its hand out for disasters

http://www.americaforpurchase.com/american-injustice/texas-received-more-federal-relief-than-any-state/

and its "right to work for less" is the secret behind its "success"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-sad-facts-behind-rick-perrys-texas-miracle/2011/08/16/gIQAxc3zJJ_story.html

[Joey Liberal]

6. Yes, but still wingnuttery :).....

I live in Oklahoma, but since Texas is apparently up for grabs, we may as well sweeten the deal and give them Okie Land too ....

[Skittles]

10. I live in Texas so I too am used to wingnuttery

they think they are so special but hell, watch what happens with a quarter inch of ice

[Joey Liberal]

29. And the Dallas Cowboys suck too:).......

No offense to Dems who are from the Country of Texas and are Cowboys fans.

[Skittles]

119. oh absolutely, I do agree!

I am a Bears fan

[Joey Liberal]

31. Oklahoma has mucho wingnuttery too

The only state in the union that had every county vote for DUHbya in 2004.

[snooper2]

110. Nortel doesn't exist anymore either LOL

[Avalux]

2. So what happens when Mexico invades Texas? Who will they ask to help them?

Just like when Rick Perry and the secessionists talk crap about the federal government, yet they're the ones crying for help the loudest when a disaster hits, all the while continuing to take those federal funds.

[derby378]

4. Have you seen the average Texan?

We're all armed to the teeth. That includes a lot of Texas Democrats.

[Booster]

9. If it's you against Mexico I'm betting on Mexico. I'm originally from Texas.

[datasuspect]

111. Viva Tejas!

[LanternWaste]

122. I for one, welcome out new Latino overlords.

I'm from TX, and live in TX, and I'd bet with you.

I for one, would welcome out new Latino overlords.

[DonCoquixote]

11. and what do you think that will mean

When the Chinese start encouraging the rest of Latin America to attack? Do not forget, Chavez will NOT welcome Texas into OPEC, neither will Brazil, and neither will have any problem asking or helping China to keep this upstart nation of Texas in line.

[derby378]

22. Hey, you know me...

I'm no advocate of secession. Texas had it's chance at being a republic. We're just not that good at it.

[Avalux]

16. Yeah I live in this sweltering place too.

Thinking Texans can defend themselves against an invading country is quite admirable, but not plausible.

[Downwinder]

20. A bit over weight. Not as bad as Mississippi.

[MADem]

128. Well, those are "stores" in the event supplies are cut off, I suppose!

Might enable a hold out for several days, assuming supplies of potable water can be sustained!

[A Simple Game]

115. Gee, that means Texas might last two days.

Common citizens against an organized army? Even Mexico's army.

Texas secedes and the US pulls all of our planes, tanks, artillery, trained troops, etc. from Texas. Yup, all you have left are your hunting rifles, one quarter of which are muzzle loaders. Good Luck.

[derby378]

132. You don't know us that well, do you... (n/t)

[A Simple Game]

136. Ok, you're a big state, three days.

Hunting rifles against armor. That ought to work out well.

[derby378]

138. What "hunting rifles" are you talking about?

[A Simple Game]

139. So you own something larger than a 50 caliber? n/t

[muntrv]

3. Regarding the military, Fort Hood and other bases are federal. You think

they are going to pledge allegance to the Texas Republic?

[JoePhilly]

35. NASA is also Federal.

[lapfog_1]

54. not to mention that VERY little of NASA is in Texas

NASA Houston is simply a command center for manned space flight.

[JHB]

105. And they can thank Lyndon "Great Society" Johnson for that

Or at least the building they'd be left with after all the people and equipment (i.e., what counts) left the Republic of Texas to go back to the country that pays for them.

Republic of Texas = RoT. A fitting abbreviation.

[TeamPooka]

135. the rockets are in Florida

[Alduin]

5. "8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter"

Start using them, then.

[Joey Liberal]

12. Nobody in Texas can afford college

But then isn't that the republican utopia? Lot's of people with low paying jobs and no healthcare?

[JoePhilly]

46. Actually, at least years ago, TX took money from the oil industry and used it to keep "in-state"

tuition low in Texas.

How low? We'll back in the 80s, I went to graduate school at Texas Tech. As an out of state student, I would have paid about $150 a credit hour. So a 3 credit class would have cost about $450. However, because I worked for the school as either a Teaching Assistant or a Research Assistant the entire time I was there, the cost per credit hour was set at "in-state" levels. Which at the time was, I kid you not, about $10 a credit hour.

And what I was told was that Texas used lots of its oil money to invest in higher education because it was CRITICAL for Texas, and that's how they kept the in-state tuition so low.

[tammywammy]

55. People in Texas can afford college

Where did you get that ridiculous notion?

-tammywammy, Texas Resident, Graduate student.

[Nevernose]

66. Ironically, until the mid 90s

Texas had a higher education system that was the envy of the nation and the world. Then came Governor Bush and a whole new generation of crazy, ignorant Republicans.

[niyad]

7. so they control refineries, gas, etc? is that why repukes want to get rid of alternative energy

credits?

oh, and doesn't t boone pickens own all kinds of water rights that he bought up while pretending to care about alternative energy?

how much does texas get back for every tax dollar sent in?

[Lone_Star_Dem]

18. The fun part was reminding them these "resources" belonged to private entities.

What did they plan to do, socialize them?

[JoePhilly]

37. I think you mean "Nationalize them" ... but you are dead on.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

44. Well, hell. I did!

I'm so used to dealing with them on healthcare now, their new fixtation, it came out out of habit.

[JoePhilly]

50. I hear you, they scream terms "Socialism", "Communism", and "Facism" so often ...

sometimes I start to think that every word that ends with "ism" or "ist" might actually mean the same thing.

I won't be surprised if they start to scream that Obama is a "Cubist" who worships in "Cubism" and plans to "Cubize" the economy.

[muntrv]

8. In case of a foreign invasion, your rifles will be no match for the invaders tanks and planes.

[Egalitarian Thug]

14. WOLVERINES!!1!!

[Dash87]

79. He obviously didn't see the movie (documentary?)

You can blow up an APC by shooting a handgun at it, take out tanks with a simple smoke bomb, and can wander right up to an enemy camp without anyone knowing what's going on. Such attention to detail was taken in this movie.

Worried about aiming? Just shoot once and 10 enemy commies with fall dead in unison. The action was so real, I didn't sleep for days. I felt like I was really watching a real war unfold.

When the Cuban officer yelled out during the invasion, "This is a madhouse!" it was one of the most touching, well-acted moments in cinema history. I wept and cried - I truly felt the loss of life and carnage happening around this character we were suddenly given the privilege to care so much about. It was - I kid you not - like I was there.

And you know it's a good war movie - sorry, the best ever - when they use such a likely scenario. Invading a Colorado town with a double digit population? Genius I tell you! Pure genius! I heard that the writers were hired as strategists for the Pentagon after this movie was made. Well done gentlemen - a well earned title indeed.

Thank you, John Milius, for giving us the pleasure of such a masterpiece. How you didn't win an Academy Award for this brilliant piece of movie magic just proves how broken Hollywood really is. "Apocalypse Now?" "Saving Private Ryan?" Forget those mediocre pieces of Hollywood excrement. "Red Dawn" is THE movie.

If I live to be 100, I will pass this masterpiece down to my grand children's children. When they inquire what that old, rusted item in the back of the closet is, I'll simply respond, "That, my boy, is perfection."

[DonCoquixote]

19. It will be fun

When the Chinese start supplying Chavez nukes aimed at Texas, as start arming Drug cartels with Military grade weapons...not that the Drug cartels do not have them already, as they even bought Soviet era submarines for use in drug smuggling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narco_submarine

One of these can carry a nuke easily.

[octothorpe]

68. But but but Texas DPS... Come on, we're talking about Chuck Norris here.

Surely you've watched some bad 90's TV shows and 80's movies....

[Egalitarian Thug]

94. One riot, one Ranger. Texas tough. n/t

[muntrv]

113. Here's another fact about Chuck (Carlos) Norris:

He doesn't fight Bruce Lee. He serves as his punching bag. "Return of the dragon" anyone?

[Egalitarian Thug]

13. Oh pretty please.

With sugar on top.

[Joey Liberal]

23. They can have Alabama too!

Let's give them all of the scary red states.....

[JoePhilly]

39. Throw in Arizona?

[Joey Liberal]

43. I second that emotion! :).....

[A Simple Game]

116. No need to give them any other states. Once they see what happens to Texas,

the rest will fall in line.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

15. Oh, the fun memories! This is old, from back when Perry was running for reelection?

We had tons of fun smacking the Baggers down with all the untruths in this little work of fiction.

The sputters. The stammering. The red faces. I'm surprised there weren't any fatalities.

[Joey Liberal]

21. Apparently winguts have revived the idea

I think they know that Rmoney is going to lose the election, so they are coming up with this crap again. They are desperate.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

30. Not here they haven't. They're still stinging from the last time.

Not a one of my RW in-laws has dared revive that little meme. I assure you they, and everyone in their mailing list will not.

Tag. You're it! Have fun.

[A Simple Game]

117. Texas didn't revive this, the other 49 states did. Wishful thinking. n/t

[muntrv]

24. About #8, what percentage of Texans would be accepted to these fine schools?

[Jackpine Radical]

32. I presume the prohibition on teaching critical thinking

extends to the colleges & universities as well?

The writer of this little thing is a poster child for education Texas-style.

[Teamster Jeff]

42. "enough colleges to keep us getting smarter" LOL

[JoePhilly]

41. So their football teams now play for the "National Championship (of Texas)!!!" ROFLMAO!

This fact alone will ensure this idiotic plan (which is screwed up for every item listed) should be mocked loudly.

[NoPasaran]

59. Actually, we might just do that

High school football could be merged with prosperity theology to create a new state religion.

[JoePhilly]

100. +1

[Motown_Johnny]

25. They need federal help to deal with mosquitoes. Gimme a break.

[DonCoquixote]

26. also one thing

Where do Texans get their water?

[Arugula Latte]

47. Mmmmm, pure, delicious Gulf Water!

Water filtration is for libruls, pussies and tree huggers!

[NoPasaran]

56. It falls from the sky

Same as most everywhere else.

[DonCoquixote]

76. let me refine the question

some states have enough water for themselves. Florida actually does have a lot of water in it's aquifer. Michigan has the Great lakes. New Orleans has lake Ponchartrain. I ask this because if Texas does not have enough water, then that could be a problem for any would be rebels. Yes, billionaires can buy water, but a blackade can spoil that idea.

[LanternWaste]

123. Many aquifers in TX.

Many aquifers in TX which underlies about 3/4 of the state. The Edwards aquifers itself os one of the most prolific artesian aquifers on the planet, and covers almost 1/4 of state.

[DonCoquixote]

124. ok, though

could it supply texas, and for how long?

[Liberal In Texas]

27. Stupid ignorant rehash of something that's been around for at least 4 years.

So many things in there aren't correct, but the biggest one is that Texas has a legal right to secede. Urban Legend and really just pure bunk.

[Major Nikon]

92. Yep, the whole thing steps on its dick right out of the gate

The reason why wingnuts are piss-poor fact checkers is because they have no regard for facts.

[Downwinder]

28. King Perry marching at the head of the band.

[Jackpine Radical]

33. Well, if they don't have the right,

I say let's give it to them.

[Downwinder]

45. These are Texans who can survive on their own?

Haven't enough sense not to sit on a hot rock.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/120418415

[Yavapai]

48. Judging from the last two governors elected there,

The State motto's should be: "Illinois the land of Lincoln", "Texas The State of Stupid".

In New Mexico they have a saying that goes "how can you tell a Texan from a real cowboy? With the cowboy the bullshit is on the outside of his boots!"

Have also heard "Texans are a lot like a wet saddle, they both chaff your ass!"

Kidding aside, Most people whom I have met from Texas, are really good folks (and someday, they may be able to learn to make a good batch of red chili.)

[Downwinder]

52. Think Texans left some bad feelings in Lincoln County,NM

and up in Apache County, AZ.

[Historic NY]

34. Bye...

[rocktivity]

36. Oh, good -- that video Keith Olbermann did is still around!

rocktivity

[YvonneCa]

82. Thanks for posting...

...this. Made my evening...sure do miss Keith.

[Texasgal]

38. Oh good gawd!

I HATE it when this kind of shit comes out!

I am a native Texan and I am not part of the " People of Texas" Crap.

I swear, people are so f'ing stupid.

[Joey Liberal]

40. Lot's of good people in Texas

It must be hard for you.

[Texasgal]

49. Well, not as bad as others.

I am in Austin which tends to be more left.

Still not easy, lot's of weirdos in this state! UGH.

[AverageJoe90]

69. I feel you.

Grew up next to Dallas my whole life. I've met my fair share of jack-offs but there's some decent people here too. I only wish it were just a little more like Austin, though.

[Texasgal]

72. You know, I have met many people

but progressive people form Texas are the best!

Dallas is getting more blue as time goes on. One day... one day.

[Chipper Chat]

77. A new capitol would be needed

because Austin would become "Berlin"

[Lone_Star_Dem]

61. Don't let it get to you. This was all started because of Perry.

Whom neither of is voted for in the first place. So, we can laugh at the inaccuracies the nuts who supported him believed.

[Texasgal]

67. Texans for OBAMA.

We are HERE in large numbers!

We'll see... thank you for your response. Fellow Texans rock.

[Tx4obama]

51. Texas does NOT have a legal right to secede. We can only divide into smaller states ...

... and those states would still be part of The United States of America.

I wish folks would stop bringing this sort of BS about Texas to DU.



Edited to add...


In 2008 over 3.5 MILLION Texans voted for Obama. I think there will be even more in 2012.

In Texas there was only a 11.77% difference between Obama and McCain, which was much less than many of the other red states.
There were 15 red states had a larger margin.

List of 2008 U.S. Presidential results by state here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_u.s._presidential_election#Result

Texas is more PURPLE now than red

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

53. Texas is the place you can look the farthest and see the least.

[Texasgal]

60. Actually Texas is quite beautiful

there is more natural space here than many other places.

I agree that wing nuts live here and our governors suck... it's hard to live with. Trust me.

It's still quite a beautiful place to live.

[kentauros]

121. Have a look at this site

for a better idea of the sights we have here

http://www.texashighways.com/

[Dash87]

57. Texas doesn't have the legal right to secede.

That's a far-right piece of fiction. There's also a lot of federal property there that can't be legally just absorbed by Texas.

The secession fantasies also go hand-in-hand with Turner Diaries wingnut gun masturbation fantasies spouted by the far-right nut jobs, which include waging guerrilla war against and overthrowing the government.

[Hoyt]

58. I support it - maybe all the right wingers near me would move there.

[SammyWinstonJack]

62. Is this a joke? Sure sounds like it's mocking the wingnuts in this state.

[fishwax]

63. the bit about texas having the right to secede is oft-spouted BS

Which, of course, makes the rest of that silliness moot.

[zbdent]

64. Let's see the Texas Navy outrun the U.S. Naval blockade ...

Of course, with air cover from ... Who43?

[sadbear]

65. Yeah, they talk a good game...

These guys will be the first against the wall when the U.S. crushes the Texas Wingnut Rebellion of 2013.

[Horse with no Name]

70. Too bad the resources are owned by the FEDERAL gubmint

Oops!

I'll grab a rocket on my way out!

[rbrnmw]

71. ok secede then but give us Willie first

On of my favorite Texans He can grow his "garden" in my backyard

[Firebrand Gary]

73. Arrogant much?

Because the "other" 49 have nothing to contribute. This writer is a fool, whoever he/she is...

[Hippo_Tron]

74. I stopped reading at "NASA is just south of Houston"

These people obviously don't have the faintest clue how the Civil War started...

[struggle4progress]

75. Texas already seceded from the union in 1860 and rejoined in 1870

So any treaties from the 1840s are null

[BlueinOhio]

83. Sam Houston

Resigned as governor when seceded. My great whatever grandfather was for it. He was in office before Houston. The navy comment was kind of funny we had went to Gettysburg PA last year so me and my grandson looked up my great great grandfather he was sent to defend Galveston TX in case it was attacked by the union during the civil war. Would it be such a bad thing to give Texas back to Mexico? After all it was obtained by devious means. No more oil profit driven presidents may actually be a good thing. Running up national debit in search of other countries oil then complaining that our country is in debt.

[NYC Liberal]

91. Funny thing is, there is no "Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848".

It doesn't exist. Never happened. Google it and try to find this supposed treaty.

There is the joint resolution passed by Congress approving the annexation of Texas. It's four paragraphs long and says nothing about secession.

There is a "Treaty of Annexation" from 1844 but it mentions nothing about secession and the Senate rejected it: the treaty was never ratified.

[struggle4progress]

96. But such joint resolution of Congress cannot have more than historical interest either:

Texas seceded in 1860 and rejoined in 1870

Nothing today can turn on legal niceties from Texas admission to the Union in the 1840s

[NYC Liberal]

97. Yeah, there's that too.

But even if the "annexation treaty" had actually been ratified and even if it had any legal standing today, it still mentions nothing about secession.

Basically no matter how you look at it, it's nothing more than a fantasy.

[NoPasaran]

131. Actually, Texas exercised its supposed right to secede in 1861.

The seventh state to leave the Union.

In 1869, as part of the opinion in Texas v. White, the Supreme Court held that the Union was indissoluble except by revolution or consent of the states.

[struggle4progress]

133. thx!

[luv_mykatz]

78. Thanks for the Olberman post, Rocktivity.

[malokvale77]

80. What a load of crap!

I live here and believe me, the only thing bigger in Texas is the load of crap.

[Ilsa]

81. This is stupid shit. Texas CANNOT secede. Besides,

Texas would run out fruits and vegetables, and the seafood from some areas near the coast isn't edible. Texas has water problems, too.

The rest is Bush-loving bullshit.

[HooptieWagon]

84. Too funny. Let them.

NASA is funded by federal dollars. No federal dollars, no NASA. Several thousand engineers collecting unemployment from country of Texas.
Texas has little fresh water. I guess the US could sell them water... lets say $5/gal?... or they can drink their oil. Gas?... yep, Texans are rather gassy.
Texas schools are abysmal. None of their H.S. grads will be smart enough to go to Texas Universities.
Oh, and since Texas is no longer in US, fuck em on SS and Medicare. Let them buy their own services on private market.
I could go on and on, you get the point. I say let Texas secede, and after they epic fail, we let them buy their way back in... for a few trillion. win-win.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

87. Texas schools are abysmal??

Not everywhere.

I graduated from a Texas High School and got 20 hours of advanced placement credit from my high school studies. This was a long time ago.

Earned an A.A.S., a B.A. and a J.D. in Texas colleges and universities.

And if you think, oh well, that was a long time ago, they have gone downhill, my daughter graduated from North Texas State (I refuse to call it the University of North Texas) in Denton, with a BS in International Studies and got a very good education. She knows how to think.

Not everybody in Texas is a right wing redneck. I'm surrounded by 'em but I am not one of them. Most of the people here in rural Redneckistan ARE stupid and ignorant and believe the crap spewed by Fox News.

But I and a few others don't.

We're not ALL stupid.

[HooptieWagon]

88. Not implying all Texans are dumb.

But Texas State School Board, or whatever its called, is a bunch of wingnut ass-hats. The shit has gotta flow downhill. Anyone who gets a good 1-12 education in Texas is doing it in spite of Texas school system. Kudos to your daughter.

[Paladin]

106. Yes, You Are. (nt)

[HooptieWagon]

112. Just the ones who want to secede.

If that is 100%, then I mean all.

[Paladin]

125. We Texas Democrats Thank You Kindly For Your Tolerance. (nt)

,

[Zoeisright]

85. If Texas is so self-sufficient, why do they take more money from the federal government

than they pay out? And with the drought, they're going to be snuffling up more money at the pig trough of handouts.

Good luck, fuckers. You'll need it.

[Confusious]

89. Actually, I believe

They are one of the few red states that pays more then it gets back.

PS. They are. For every 1.00 they give, they get .94 cents back.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

86. then there was the gun nut in the post office the other day.

Said that there's gonna be an uprising in January. (no facts, just rumor) And those poor people (who can't afford cars) are gonna leave Houston and come up HERE to rural Texas and take our stuff. Advised me to get a gun to protect myself and get some food stored. (still no facts, just bullshit) Implied that we were gonna secede b/c people like him have not gotten over losing the Civil War.

[NYC Liberal]

90. Oh brother. Does Texas alone fund all of that? No.

Most of the things on that list wouldn't exist were it not for federal funding that comes from taxes paid by the rest of the country. How many of the schools receive federal funding? How about those medical research centers? Farmers?

Second, the Supreme Court has already ruled that no state has any legal authority to secede and that includes Texas:

When, therefore, Texas became one of the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation. All the obligations of perpetual union, and all the guaranties of republican government in the Union, attached at once to the State. The act which consummated her admission into the Union was something more than a compact; it was the incorporation of a new member into the political body. And it was final. The union between Texas and the other States was as complete, as perpetual, and as indissoluble as the union between the original States. There was no place for reconsideration, or revocation, except through revolution, or through consent of the States.

The US would most likely impose full economic sanctions and there would be a blockade, so good luck using those ports.

[BillyJack]

93. Go for it Texas! And don't let the door hit ya....... eom

[Aristus]

95. Good fucking riddance. The sooner the better.

I should know; I was born there.

Who needs the putrid, open running sewer that is Texas?

[NYC Liberal]

98. I found this rebuttal online:

1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States, and Texas immediately secedes from the Union.

Response: No surprise Texas prefers running away to working together in an effort to solve problems. We’d like to consider Texas a part of the union after kicking your ass in the Civil War (you do recall you lost that one, don’t you?), but if you insist…

2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas.

Response: Good plan – we hope you’ll be fair about it and agree to assume the $10 trillion national debt he created.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

Response: Setting aside the fact that NASA is a federal government asset and doesn’t belong to Texas, as Texas has produced only 6 astronauts EVER to fly in the history of the space program it’ll be fun to watch the world’s largest space vehicle parking lot in action.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

Response: No great loss here – as the largest polluter in the US, Texas pumps so much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that if it were its own country it would rank 7th in the world. And, since the Texan oil lobby's pressure on the legislature has been one of the main reasons for US dependence on oil, it will be a relief to finally be able to concentrate on greener, more logical energies. The rest of us are a bit curious about how you’ll fare with your new partners: Venezuela, Russia, Nigeria, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia.

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

Response: Again, setting aside the fact that Texas actually ties with California in the production and support of the Aerospace/Defense industry, just out of curiosity, who you gonna sell that stuff to?

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do?

Response: Hey, as we seem to be headed back to prices like $4.50 a gallon maybe you can pay off that $10 trillion debt your new president is going to bring with him to your new country.

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will have to figure out a way to keep them warm....

Response: The United States can’t seem to find this imaginary Natural Gas pipe line you seem to think is supplying us so it appears that your sock puppet is misleading you again.

6. Computer Industry - we lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications equipment -small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel, Alcatel, etc. The list goes on and on.

Response: Everything really is bigger in Texas – even the tales you spin. Fact is, in terms of size it is California that has long been the national leader of the high tech industry. Your massive imagination is amusing, but there are absolutely no facts to back up this claim. We are starting to think you've spent a little too much time alone out on the range.

7. Medical Care - We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. The Houston Medical center alone employs over 65,000 people.

Response: Actually, Florida has the largest cancer research center; Arizona has the best-rated burn center; UMC Arizona has the best trauma center. On the list of the best hospitals, Texas didn’t even make the top 16! Moral of the story here: best not get sick or hurt in Texas. And just a tip: ya’ll aren’t even close to needing to worry about cancer. Texas is the Fattest state in the union! Work on some nutrition and diabetes treatments - just sayin’…

8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas Christian, Rice, SMU, University of Dallas, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy Grows better in the South anyway.

Response: The fist Texas collage to come up in the rankings for graduating students is Rice – it’s an impressive (NOT!) number 83 on the list! Texas students might want to do something other than sit around watching that Ivy grow!

9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force, and it isn't restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in Texas, it's a Right to Work State and, therefore, it's every man and women for themselves. We just go out and get the job done. And if we don't like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.

Response: As your new President of Texas, G.W Bush managed to create one of the highest unemployment rates in 15 years, you might want to think about keeping the boarders open so you can get a job in Mexico!

10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc.

Response: I don’t seem to recall seeing a whole bunch of trees in Texas for all that paper. Also, as the rest of us are learning to recycle - no big plastic concerns here. We do agree with you about the insurance industry though – given the reputation they have in terms of how they treat people, we want you to feel free to keep them!

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, the Texas Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over the Texas Rangers.

Response: We’re a little puzzled at who exactly you think would want to “invade.” And while we hate to bring it up again – you do remember the Alamo, right? Anyway, if your situation does get “really bad” the United States will be more than happy to send a couple of Thermal Nuclear Missiles across your new border.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

Response: Again, setting aside the fact that “cows, chickens and pigs” sounds like a Texas trailer park dating service, Texas cows eat more grain than your state produces. Still, we figure it might do several of you some good to compete with your cattle for food! We're sure you'll figure out what to do.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Response: We guess Texas does have everything it needs, as long as we don’t have to consider a willingness to commit to its fellow states – you know, the ones that sent their men and women into harm’s way so you could keep that Lone Star flag flying.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

Response: One word here: Alternatives!

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications.

Response: Wow, a world without TV!! Would you mind cutting that off whether you secede or not? TV’s really that important to you? Maybe a little less TV and a few more books and you could get your collage graduate ranking to move up from #83!

You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Response: Again, One word: Alternatives!

Signed, the People of Texas
P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about!

Response: We’ve thought about it and it is sounding better all the time!

SLEEP WELL TONIGHT THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!!

Response: Yeah, that makes us a little nervous; as we are pretty sure you’re using an up-skirt cam.

[MADem]

130. Number twelve, there, was fartin-out-loud funny! nt

[blogslut]

99. Myths are fun

But they're not real.

[rock]

101. "Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it."

Last edited Fri Aug 17, 2012, 12:08 PM - Edit history (1)

I for one would be ecstatic if they would like to pay for 2/3 of the defense.

[HooptieWagon]

114. Yep, pull those federal defense dollars out.

If the country of Texas wants a $3 trillion defense industry, let them pay for it.

[hobbit709]

102. There is nothing in the original treaty about that for starters.

More total BS on every count

[cap]

103. Wonder what the minorities think about this?

Texas is set to tip and minorities will become majority in Texas. I wonder if they will go along with this

[muntrv]

104. How did that secessiony thingy in 1860 work out fer ya?

[JHB]

107. Jayzuz Christmas! What an idiot! He obviously hasn't considered...

...how much of that would pick up and leave if he got his precious Republic of Texas.

But appropriately, whatever remained would be left to RoT.

[ieoeja]

108. Threats make me want to hit somebody.

Everytime I hear/read "Don't Mess With Texas", I have this extreme urge to punch out a Texan.

[Liberal In Texas]

109. It was a slogan created for an anti-littering campaign.

And be careful which Texans you want to hit, my county voted for Obama in '08 as did the other major metro areas.

[MelissaB]

118. The one thing we don't have in Texas... WATER!

Can't really live without it, can we? My city has a one year supply left. ONE.

[LanternWaste]

120. TX legal secession is an urban myth

TX does not have any more legal right to secede than any other state... although it may break into up to five, smaller states-- but under federal provisions, any state can do that too.

http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texas.asp

[orpupilofnature57]

126. God Bless All Liberals in Texas!!!!!!

Courage!

[MADem]

127. That's a heaping helping of bullshit, right there! Hilarious!

Off ya go, then, on yer bike! Don't let the door hit ya--and don't ask for an IMF bail out when ya fall hard on your ass, either!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

129. Sorry, crazy Texas secessionist people. You don't get to keep NASA

or the military bases. They, and the personnel of the Texas National Guard, are assets of the United States, and we will insist on keeping them. We will pack up all our stuff and move it the hell out of your crazy little banana republic. All those corporations? Many of them are actually incorporated in Delaware. They do not belong to Texas. Same with the oil refineries and wells - the physical facilities are in Texas but their owners are multinational oil companies. The Republic of Texas cannot and will not control them. All those educational and medical facilities? They depend quite a bit on federal funds, which will no longer be available. You will get no money for roads, bridges, or airports. Your citizens will not get Medicaid, Medicare or Social Security. You will be a poverty-stricken third-world hellhole within a couple of years.

So go for it. Just don't expect foreign aid from the United States.

[madinmaryland]

134. That would guarantee 40 electoral votes that the Repukes would not get in the EC.

Fuck 'em!

[johnsolaris]

137. Texas has more Wind POWER !!!!!

Hi,

One of the things the wingnuts never mention about Texas is that it is the leading state in Wind Power. There are over 30 projects statewide with those really BIG Wind turbines and that number is increasing. Head out west from Ft. Worth on Hwy. 20 and you will see them. You can't miss them actually since there are so many of them. Texas may have oil, but That nasty Liberal Wind Power is a major industry now with a lot of jobs. Texas just like all the other states is not self sufficient & needs the Federal Government just like everyone else

[lunatica]

140. Stop blabbing on and on and secede already!

Just shut up about shutting up!