An 83 year old friend had to go to rehab.

[leftyladyfrommo]

Somehow she got moved to a really upscale facility for 90 days. She had a room to herself, great food, therapy and great care.

And then her time ran out and she is back home. Hopefully she will be able to stay there with her son for at least a little while.

If she stayed at the facility it would be $289 a day out of pocket. That is $9,000 a month or $120,000 a year.

The assisted living apartments Re about $5,000 a month.

What she can afford on Medicaid is a tiny space in a care facility. Sometimes the care is ok. Sometimes it's not.

I can't afford anything. I will just have to do the best I can in my little house. I worked all my life. I had pretty good savings intill 2 stock market crashes and a recession where I lost my job when I was almost 60. Had to use my savings to live on.

[Ilsa]

1. It doesn't surprise me that people have to move

out of the US, or at least to cheaper states, to afford retirement. Wages haven't kept up, and the stock market has destroyed 401(k)s.

[onethatcares]

2. that 9k a month is a killer

but then again, so is 2k a month on what I have saved and what I receive in Social Security benefits.

I'd rather step out on my own terms when the time comes.

[Coventina]

3. I'm with you. I just had a friend killed by a rehab place.

I'll take myself out before going to one of those death camps.

[Hortensis]

4. $9000/month was about what my aunt was paying for

the last few years in a nice ALF, with a SNF on the same grounds and able to provide temporary care if needed. She lived to 103, and toward the end we were finally concerned that she would outlast her means. Close thing, but she didn't have to be moved to a strange place.

None of us could afford anything approaching that even for one person, let alone a couple. I don't despair, though.

When I was researching care facilities for my MIL, whose illnesses had wiped out a lifetime of saving and investment, I found tremendous differences. This was in LA, so we had lots of options. But those included 3 good charity-funded ones run by dedicated people within driving distance, some that remembering gives me a bit of a chill years later, and everything in between. Places that feel good, yes. Empty halls and sitting areas I took as a bad sign. I was not shopping for a place to wait to die.

For my previously elegant and affluent but now pleasantly and usefully demented MIL, we chose a very modest but well maintained place that felt good just walking in, people out and about, various activities and outings, a little garden in the back, a young, enthusiastic professional for a director. It was located at the intersection of two ugly, rather rundown commercial/industrial boulevards, but I knew it was going to be one of the good ones when I saw people sitting and chatting in a sunny area outside the front door, obviously a favorite area.

[leftyladyfrommo]

5. I wonder how many people can really afford $9,000/mo?

I don't think anyone I know can.

[Liberal In Texas]

6. If the care you end up needing isn't too great

think about getting home care services which are considerably cheaper. Not cheap, but cheaper.

I think we should do everything possible to keep people in their houses. I only want to have to leave mine feet first.