Jeff Bezos Chooses Soon-to-Be Bankrupt Mar-a-Lago as New Amazon Headquarters (Borowitz)

[Stonepounder]

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/jeff-bezos-chooses-soon-to-be-bankrupt-mar-a-lago-as-new-amazon-headquarters?utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_021419&utm_medium=email&bxid=5bd672883f92a41245dd6fd1&user_id=27161810&esrc=&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz

Jeff Bezos Chooses Soon-to-Be Bankrupt Mar-a-Lago as New Amazon HeadquartersJeff Bezos

SEATTLE (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that he expected the property to be “bankrupt and vacant within the next two years,” Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, announced on Thursday that the Mar-a-Lago club, in Palm Beach, Florida, would be the site of Amazon’s second headquarters.

Bezos said that Mar-a-Lago was chosen from a list of soon-to-be-bankrupt properties, including the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster, Trump Turnberry, and the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Baku, Azerbaijan.

The Amazon C.E.O. said that, after Amazon acquires Mar-a-Lago, the company will start working around the clock to remove the property’s hideous décor, which he fears could prove distracting to warehouse employees.

At Mar-a-Lago, a longtime employee, who spoke on condition of anonymity, welcomed the Amazon move, stating, “This is one of the only places in the world where workplace conditions would improve if Amazon came in.” Another Mar-a-Lago employee, raising a question shared by many others, asked, “Does this mean we’ll start getting paid?” If the Mar-a-Lago deal goes through, it would mark the first appearance of books in that location, Amazon confirmed.

[a kennedy]

1. Shut Up........I damn near cut my wrists........

Then I saw the brilliance of Borowitz.

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. "it would mark the first appearance of books in that location, Amazon confirmed"

Ohhh....that stings.

[MFGsunny]

3. Night of Dumpster National Emergency TOTALLY NEEDS Borowitz ...

well played, sir, well played