In 1968, Donald Trump found himself walking into a seedy fortune teller's shop in Times Square.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Trump--a recent college graduate--asked the fortune teller for a reading and for any prognostications that might be concerning.

The fortune teller pulled out her cards and started reading. Suddenly, she stopped dead short.

"Don't go to Vietnam! The moment you go to Vietnam.....very bad things will happen to you!"

Trump smirked and said, "You don't have to worry about that, lady. No way I'm going over to Vietnam to fight. I'll say I have bone spurs in my foot and that will be that. I'll never see a second of war!"

Feeling his time had been wasted, a disgusted Trump got up and left the shop before the fortune teller could get another word in.

As he exited the door, the fortune teller attempted to cry out, "Wait, who said anything about fighting a war?"

[dalton99a]

1. "Greetings from your favorite president"

[louis-t]

3. He looks so fucking happy.

[pwb]

5. Can you draw some strings on that?

.

[lpbk2713]

8. He must have left Washington in a hurry.

Where is his X-Long red tie?

[malaise]

2. You are hilarious

[TlalocW]

4. Feeling the pressue of the presidency

Trump decides to disguise himself and take two secret service guards with him in a normal looking vehicle to find something to take his mind off things. They come across a comedy club, and he decides that's just the thing. The main comedian though is a ventriloquist whose whole routine is nothing but anti-Trump jokes. As the audience laughs more and more at each insult, Trump loses his cool, jumps to his feet removing his disguise and yells, "I'm the damn president of the United States, and I think I deserve more respect than this!" The room goes silent for a few moments, and the comedian clears his throat and begins to apologize. Trump yells back, "I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to that little bastard on your lap!"

Not Viet Nam related, but my favorite Trump joke.

TlalocW

[dogknob]

11. LOL

[lunatica]

7. He probably stiffed that fortune teller too.

[underpants]

9. Applause

I couldn’t figure out where that was going seeing how little was left. You got me on that one.

[brooklynite]

10. In fairness, he probably didn't pay her...