If Disney had actually bought Fox News, not just the Studio....
Imagine Disney World after a post-acquisition of Fox News Channel. The park, obviously located in Fantasyland, would have to feature new attractions such as:
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DUMBO THE LYING HORSES ASS
Based on the 1941 Disney animated masterpiece Dumbo, this classic attraction lets you hop atop everybody’s favorite ass as he discovers he can lie. Dumbo’s faithful friend Tucker Q. Mouse helps keeps you aloft with his “magic” BS.
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THE HAUNTED STUDIOS
The disembodied voices of the Fox & Friends morning hosts are your private guide through the cadaverous realm of an eerie haunted studio, home to ghosts, ghouls and supernatural Doocy's. Watch out for the krazy Kilmeade!
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PIRATES OF THE POTOMAC RIVER
Board a weathered barge for a treacherous voyage to the 21st century, when rowdy rogues and ruthless rapscallions ransacked America's towns. Sing along as pirates serenade you with their Bolshevik anthem, “Yo Ho, Yo Ho (A Rusky's Life for Me).”
IMMIGRANT MOUNTAIN
Dip and careen into the inky blackness as a Mexican soundtrack echoes all around you. Fly past shooting Border Agents and Caravans of drugged rapists. Feel the pull of insanity as you’re drawn into a swirling wormhole of lies!
THE HANNITY ZONE OF TERROR
Step uneasily inside the infamous Hollywood Tower Hotel and find a dusty lobby frozen in shame. Even the subdued hotel staff seems strangely white and male. Suddenly a television set springs to life and Sean Hannity welcomes you on a journey into the Twilight Zone. He reveals that on a gloomy November night in 2016, some hotel patrons were riding the elevator when a violent Russian storm struck the building… and they were never seen again. The hotel closed down and has stood empty, like the hosts head, ever since.
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