The Republican Platform

[SmileyRose]

1. That black dude in our White House is illegitimate just like all the other scary black dudes. Best he go back to Africa where he and the rest of them belong.

2. Gayness should just be criminalized and punished with the death penalty.

3. The uppity wimmin folk should just relax and accept Eve's curse. Why should police officers waste time bothering with domestic violence and why should we waste any doctors or money on wimmin troubles?

4. Brown people have less value than white people and finding some brown people on the other side of the world who'll make iPads for 50 cents a day, live in factory owned dorms, have no legal protections and are lucky to get one biscuit and a cup of tea each day just means that I build my business all by myself and they deserve their poverty.

5. Government should only work for the top 1% the rest of the world can suck my ass.

[Populist_Prole]

1. Also

6. We should return the US to the Eisenhower years when the US flourished, except for: The more unionized private sector, the 91 percent top tax rate.