GOP Convention To Feature Strong Lineup Of Conservative Women Listeners

[Ichingcarpenter]

TAMPA, FL—On the eve of the Republican National Convention, GOP officials have announced that the three-day event will feature a solid, all-star lineup of the party’s most prominent female listeners.

“A veritable who’s who of conservative women are scheduled to stand on the convention floor and listen attentively to what each male speaker has to say about the major issues facing our country,” RNC communications director Sean Spicer said Monday, confirming that an impressive variety of blond, smiling women with perfectly maintained hair and jewelry will be on prominent display and seated near television cameras.

“I would say this is one of the most impressive rosters of dead-silent female Republicans wearing nice dresses that we’ve ever had at the convention.” Spicer also reassured convention-goers that the solid roster of women listeners had all been informed not to get in the way too much and, if possible, to show slightly more cleavage


http://www.theonion.com/articles/gop-convention-to-feature-strong-lineup-of-conserv,29339/

[lovemydog]

1. funny because

it's true!

[chknltl]

2. Will they be allowed to wear shoes to the event?*

Let me get this straight, The GOP is bragging that its front line crowd of 'adoring supporters' is being staged? Do they have a director? Maybe a choreographer to show them how to snap their fingers and bop their heads to the intermission music? Imagine the bruha we could have had if only word of the dress rehearsal had gotten out.

*I am pretty sure forcing the barefoot preggers Republicans up front is a bad idea due to the risk of a spontaneous mosh-pit outbreak when Journey starts playing.

[tavalon]

3. It's an upside down world

when the onion seems like real reporting and CNN like a joke.

[freeplessinseattle]

4. Isn't that the truth? My mind is beyond boggled lately n/t

[Capt. Obvious]

5. Satire is not allowed here

*alerted*

[Mnemosyne]

6. Too true! K&R nt