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President now boldly rushing to El Paso to stop Walmart shooting!
President Trump innovative approach to national leadership has included promises to shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and to demonstrate the proper way to rush without backup into buildings controlled by armed homicidal maniacs
Being a man of his word, the President immediately began to plan his trip to El Paso as soon as he heard about the Walmart shooting. Some people, predictably, will criticize him for waiting too long to storm the Walmart, but that is totally unfair: it takes time to charge golf cart batteries and load the cart onto Air Force One so the President doesn't have to walk too far
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