Breaking News...The Onion on the verge of collapse

[sheshe2]

http://all-hat-no-cattle.blogspot.com/2019/08/jeffrey-epstein-autopsy-shows-neck-bone.html

[Dennis Donovan]

1. How many DU OP's start with "NOT The Onion"??

[sheshe2]

2. Exactly, Dennis.

When they don't I always go to the bottom and read the source. Fact is no one can make this stuff up.

[rocktivity]

3. Time to spin these DU oldies but goodies:

2012: ...(U)pon seeing a video of Mitt Romney defending his omission of the troops from his speech, we have decided to pack it in...We ran (it) by our editors as a test and they told to stop fucking around. Then we told them it was real and they cried and got into the fetal position.

The task of making outlandish shit up has becoming impossible in light of the real world outlandish shit already happening. The line has become too blurred and quite frankly we are simply not capable of shining a light on the absurdity of the world that is its own fusion reactor of iridescence...

2016: Another Onion staffer has come forward to reveal, "every time we make up a funny story about Trump, he does something even more ludicrous than what we came up with before we can even get it published to our web site! We were thinking, 'what if we had a baby throw up on him' and then he goes and throws a baby out of his rally for crying too much. HOW THE FUCK DO WE COMPETE WITH THAT?"

rocktivity

[Initech]

4. Real life really is weirder than satire right now!

[usaf-vet]

5. How about reversing direction and putting the layers back one by one until the Onion is whole.

BUT in this case, rebuild the layers of our democracy that Trump and his grifters have peeled away. Back one by one until we are the USA that President Obama's left at the end of his 8 years in office.

Trust me each replaced layer will sound like a fairy tale given the Trump horror show.

[liberal N proud]

6. Life really is that bad now

[Gothmog]

7. satire is hard when trump keeps acting like an idiot

[John Fante]

27. It's like making a parody of the "Naked Gun" films.

[OldManTarHeel]

8. LMFAO . .

[The Wielding Truth]

42. Oh man! Me,too!

[lpbk2713]

9. Yup.

That's been the case for about two and a half years now.
Trump makes it hard to compete.

[The Liberal Lion]

10. Not the Onion

donald Jackass trump has tasked White House Counsel Pat Cipollone to find a way legally for the United States to purchase Greenland.

(Deadpan)

[NastyRiffraff]

21. I don't think The Onion staff can compete with that one.

It's not Borowitz, either.

[generalbetrayus]

24. The US actually DID try to do this once.

And I'm not basing it on this tweet - I've read it elsewhere.

Link to tweet

?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

[The Liberal Lion]

29. Fair enough

[calimary]

41. Truman oncemade an overture, I believe.

[Turbineguy]

11. I just realized

trump could have a future after all.

[burrowowl]

12. Sadly! So true

Long Lie The Onion!

[Amimnoch]

13. Sheshe, I WILL be sending you my dry cleaning bill.

You owe me for the coffee stain on my shirt now.

Damn that one hit the tickle spot.

[sheshe2]

14. No problem, Amimnoch.

However if it is an older shirt I will just send you a Tide Pod.

[Zorro]

15. The Onion's still got game

Though it's not as easy these days.

[mcar]

16. Honestly, it's hard to tell sometimes

[sheshe2]

17. No kidding!

[smirkymonkey]

18. LOL! That's great! It's so true. I honestly can't tell the difference anymore

these days. When I think it's something from The Onion, it turns out to be real and when it's real I think it must be something from The Onion.

[Totally Tunsie]

19. Sounds like The Onion is toast!

[NastyRiffraff]

20. Ooh, the blooming onion!

Love them. They're about 100 calories per bite.

[sheshe2]

23. That's why they are so good!

[Ferrets are Cool]

22. It is tragic that this is true or even in the realm of reality.

[Kurt V.]

25. i needed that laugh. :)

[sheshe2]

26. We all do, Kurt.

[zipplewrath]

28. I know this is all in humor

But quite honestly, the opening for the Onion these days is in satire where Trump does something "reasonable". There's alot of territory there.

[Wawannabe]

31. Frickin brilliant!

Or
“nice”
Or
Acts like an adult.
Or...

[Blue Owl]

32. We are through the looking glass...

[Wawannabe]

30. TRUTH

Current events are beyond absurd.

Impeachment cannot come soon enough. tRump = Putrid. Sack. Of. Shit.

[Blue Owl]

33. Oh c'mon... They still got it!

[link:https://politics.theonion.com/sorry-about-the-tornado-or-whatever-says-trump-wolfi-1837074904|

[sheshe2]

35. Yep...

If only they trained their tracks better it would never have happened. Or what ever.

[Wounded Bear]

34. When real life gets this absurd, satire and irony lose their oomph...

[LAS14]

36. It's true, it's true. We now absolutely need the :sarcasm: thingey, lest...

... we think we're reading a true story.

[GoneOffShore]

37. The Onion & Carl Hiassen both on the same page

The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life.

[Hotler]

38. Area Man not giving up, still has shit to say.

Love the onion.

[MontanaMama]

39. You got me.

[MrScorpio]

40. Satire is dead...

Because Trump killed it.